That's How They Met. Believe Me, I Was A Duck!

wikipedia no longer being anywhere near the top of search results when looking up anything feels eviscerating

Buried alive fic where Tim wakes up in a coffin and the only thing he has is a comm. The comm can only call the Red Hood. When Hood picks up, he appears delighted that Tim has been buried and taunts him. Tim concluding that he has to get out on his own--unbeknownst to him, Jason has been trying to find him, but doesn't want to say that in case whoever has planned this is listening in.

Tim almost reaching the surface, Jason grabbing his hands and pulling him free the rest of the way. Tim freaking out when he sees Jason and Jason having to reassure him that he's here to help.

bat opens up their little bat wallet to find they are all out of moths. A worthless $100 bill flies out for emphasis

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

So today this kid yelled Nani the fuck?!? in the middle of a test and I felt compelled to share this to the world.

teachers, share the weird crap your kids have done!

Can't believe I haven't read the new chapter of OSAS because I was focused on finishing these silly joke doodles pfff

Okay, so, the premise of this joke is that Lucifer and Alastor's relationship has grown so much without anyone else knowing anything about it, but they're also both sillies who have funny ways of showing their friendship and now romance, so I just wanted to doodle that for fun pfff

Also, even tho they promised to keep their romance a secret, I BET these fuckers would get themselves caught, like, they've been caught looking romantic a dozen other times just by Vox alone, not to even mention other characters ppfpfpfp

Anyways, @morningstarwrites I had a peek at the new chapter and saw we're back to team HARD, I'm so happy pfpfpfpf

Bonus:

When you tell a joke and realize 5 seconds too late that you're not among ur target audience

Remus: We’re best friends, of course I play with his hair.

Sirius: We’re best friends, of course we share the same bed all the time.

Remus: We’re best friends, of course he put his head in my lap when he’s tired and I refuse to move until he wakes up.

Sirius: We’re best friends, of course we steal each other’s clothes because it makes us feel safe.

Remus: We’re best friends, of course we share cigarettes. And plates of food. And a toothbrush.

Sirius: We’re best friends, of course I have dreams about him.

Remus: We’re best friends, of course I get jealous when he dates people.

Sirius: We’re best friends, of course I smell him in my Amortentia.

Remus: We’re best friends, of course I want to kiss him all the time.

Sirius: We’re best friends, of course I want to suck his-

James: JUST FUCKING DATE ALREADY!

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

You know a few different times I’ve been asked what my biggest regret in life is and I usually say “I don’t know” but that’s a lie. A fat lie. My biggest regret is one time in 7th grade I broke a glowstick and drew a heart with Sasuke’s name in it on my bedroom wall but if that’s not bad enough you know glowsticks usually fade after a day, right? Well not this one- this one stained the wall so even at a grown ass adult there’s Sasuke’s name in a goddamn giant ass heart on my wall as erasable as the shame in my heart.

he's so in love!!!!

also enjoy angel and husk dancing lol