First of all, let’s define an abusive relationship. Okay? “Abuse” is not characterized by- say it with me now- age, gender, strength/size or otherwise more “common” depictions of an abusive relationship. “Abuse” is characterized by a- say it with me now- POWER IMBALANCE. Got it? Good.
Now, let’s examine Damian and Tim’s relationship to see if there’s a power imbalance with one simple question. Do they both have the power to redefine this relationship? In the case of Tim and Damian, the answer is no. An immediate follow-up to this question should be: who has the power to redefine the relationship? The answer is the more powerful side of the power imbalance, or, more often than not, the abuser. In the case of Tim and Damian, Damian is the one with the power to redefine the relationship.
Why? Because a), both Tim and Damian’s adults (Bruce, Alfred, maybe Dick) are unwilling to balance the relationship (giving them both consequences for cruelty, no favoritism, etc.), b), Damian does not accept anything Tim says- if Tim is polite, he’s being patronizing/condescending and it’s his fault, if Tim’s rude he’s being cruel/unfair and it’s his fault, if Tim’s indifferent he’s being cold/unfair and it’s his fault- as a genuine effort on Tim’s part, meaning only Damian has the power to change their dynamic.
Just because Damian is younger than Tim does not mean that Damian is incapable of being abusive towards Tim. It reminds me of a dynamic in which the “softer” one, e.g. a wife or in this case, a younger sibling, is abusing the “tougher” one, e.g. a husband or an older sibling, and the victim of the abusive is not believed because the “softer” one obviously can’t be an abuser. By excusing Damian’s actions you are practicing abuse apologism. This is Very Fucked Up and it is Not Okay. Just because DC seems to think it is okay and the majority of the fandom brushes past it, it does NOT MEAN that it is not abuse apologism.
I am not blaming Damian for any of this. No one has ever bothered to explain to him that his actions are wrong or explain why they are wrong. However, that does not absolve him of responsibility. Responsibility is not the same thing as blame. In this case, responsibility means an actual, genuine apology on Damian’s part. Responsibility means acknowledging it was wrong of him to abuse Tim, it means an actual change in behavior going forward, and, specifically for Damian, it probably includes therapy.
Abuse apologism is not okay. I need people to understand that Damian was abusing Tim. There is no excusing or sugarcoating it. Damian. Abused. Tim. I need people to understand that. Yes, Damian can accept responsibility (and the ADULTS- Bruce, Alfred, maybe Dick- need to accept the blame) but that does not change the fact that in the beginning, He Abused Tim. Yes, Damian can (and should) make a change, and that change should be reflected in his characterization, but if one were to write him in the BEGINNING he would still be abusing Tim. I am not demonizing him by writing this. This is not me bashing on the character. This is me defining his canonical behavior. This is me telling you all that Damian was entitled and spoiled and rude and cruel and ABUSIVE.
I need you to understand this.
why accidental stab self?
I can't tell if this is a healthy distraction because I am stabbing myself but it's not on purpose
"DICK GREW UP AS AN ONLY CHILD AND GOT HIS FIRST SIBLING AFTER HE WAS A FUCKING ADULT! HE DOES NOT HAVE ELDEST DAUGHTER SYNDROME AND HE IS NOT THE SIBLINGEST OF SIBLINGS!!" i scream as they drag me back to arkham
ofc you have permission! i am currently struggling with writers block so i cant :(
I just had an Idea. What if Damian met Tim during the time he was training with Lady Shiva? I’m like 90% sure Damian trained with her at some point, and I know for sure that Tim did. So what if they met through her?
then when Damian ends up in Gotham he recognizes Tim not as Robin but as lady shiva’s apprentice. I imagine it would go smth like this:
Tim, opening the door: Hi
Damian: Timothy?
Tim: Damian???
Damian: Why are you here?
Tim: I live here. Damian: *shocked murder baby noises*
hey. hi. so.
might be a little obsessed with Tim Drake. this is not new. what is new, however, is the idea of timothy jackson drake being raised as a shield.
you know how some children are raised as weapons? that sucks. but weapons have a use. they're sharp, they're dangerous. sometimes they're respected in some capacity. some people have emotional attachments to their weapons. a weapon is valued for the threat that it is simply by being. a weapon is valued for the damage it can do. and that sucks. but a weapon is valued, pretty much automatically, because a weapon has a purpose.
but shields? their entire purpose is someone else. a shield is worthless without someone to shield. a shield is used until it breaks, and then it's immediately replaced. a shield is valued as long as it's stable, as long as it takes the hits meant for someone else. a shield is valued until it takes too many hits and it breaks. no one will repair that broken shield. it's never going to be as stable as it used to be. better to just get a new one.
anyways. tim drake is a shield, not a sword. at first he was shielding his parents reputation. then he was shielding Batman, both his reputation and his health- mental and physical. and he never stopped. he spent a year with the league of assassins to protect batman. to rescue him.
and when he gets back from that year? he's shielding Bruce by taking the brunt of work at WE.
to conclude: tim was raised as a shield instead of a child and i can't stop thinking about it.
pro tip:
for titles, shamelessly steal song lyrics. works 100% of the time. you just gotta find a lyrics that works. don't be afraid if the rest of the song doesn't match. that one lyrics is all you need.
for summaries, just copy and paste a couple paragraphs from the story. it doesn't even matter if they properly describe what happens. just add a melodramatic "OR.... (simplistic two sentence description of what happens)"
works every time.
writing is hard but coming up with a cunty title and catchy summary will slay even god's strongest soldier
ao3 is being slow lately and its pissing me off because there’s a 50/50 chance when i click “kudos” nothing happens like let me appreciate a fic smh
screaming crying throwing up my favorite author just followed me i feel blessed is this what it's like to be chosen by the gods?
@theresamouseinmyhouse hi :)
We’re fanfic writers, we stare at a wall imagining beautiful prose for hours before writing precisely one sentence, getting writer’s block, and flopping to the floor in defeat.
We're fanfic writers, we spend hours researching an incredibly niche topic we know nothing about so that we can have one sentence be factually correct
"forfrodo"
wise words, very wise words
TIL Dr. Sigmund Freud was addicted to smoking and failed to quit for good throughout a 45 years long battle that included 33 operations for cancer of the jaw, an artificial jaw replacement, and attacks of “tobacco angina” exacerbated by nicotine . He was known to smoke up to twenty cigars a day.
via reddit.com
I answer to EITHER Ruby or Azalea, she/her. Send me asks about anything.
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