(Source)

It's Final_Fantasy_Queen from ifunny

Oh cool! I kind of blanked out for a second. Awesome to see you.

Sigma: What are you doing?

Nikolai: Fyodor put me in time out because I nailed Bram’s coffin shut with him inside it.

Sigma: Why?

Nikolai: I was bored. It was fun.

Sigma: What did you learn?

Nikolai: Bram is a snitch.

Nikolai sending this to his friend/victims

We need a Sigma protection squad. Who’s joining?

Nikolai getting turned into a bird and being a menace in the Decay. No one is safe from him he’s either pecking or ripping strands of hair out of his coworkers for his nest. Fyodor tries to put him in a cage but he escapes because he still has his ability. Later sends him to Sigma’s casino. Nikolai is now dive bombing Sigma’s employees as well as the guests. Only way Sigma can stop him is feeding him piroshki. Later on Sigma gets him a bird house styled to his liking does Nikolai behave. When Nikolai turns back he keeps the birdhouse as a gift and keeps it in his room as a memory he enjoyed.

(This was discussed in my discord chat about a pic I found online)

I'm surprised I'm not dead for going against him.

Have any of the others like Regis, Gladio, or Ignis thought of sedating him? (I.e. Sleeper hold, a tranquilizer, or a straitjacket like Hannibal Lector style)

Gladiolus: *covers face with hands and groans*

Clarus: *scowls* You fool! You think we haven’t?!

Gladiolus: I lost count of how many times I shot him with a tranquilizer or used the sleeper hold on him. I know for a fact that he purposely pushed me to doing it so he could call me ‘the sandman’.

Clarus: Therapy is completely useless since he’s able to brainwash the weak-minded fools!

Gladiolus: Straitjackets? He knows how to escape them and has a collection. And Iggy? Regis practically made him royalty with how much power he has.

Clarus: And all to keep that son of his from destroying the city! It’s a miracle young Scientia is not a mad man like Noctis.

Gladiolus: If you have any suggestions, we’re willing to hear a few.

Clarus: I’ll give you my wealth and soul if you can stop that boy.

Noctis: *shows up* Yo, Clarinet. I sensed you were talking about me so I came over.

Gladiolus: speak of the devil.

Noctis: I’m human.

Clarus: *hisses* Lies! *points to the door* AND GET OUT.

Sigma: Nikolai. Your lover is immortal and you only reincarnate when they stop thinking about you. One day you die and reincarnate. What is your first thought?

Nikolai: You forgot me Fedya?

Fyodor: why did you immediately assume I am your immortal lover?

Hiii!! Can I request something from touchstarved pls?

What kind of kissers do you think each of our guys are? Which ones a HORRIBLE kisser, too much tongue, slobber slobber… which ones are absolute gods at kissing you just wanna worship the ground they walk on-

I had fun imagining this one 😎

SO, here’s my headcanon even tho I never kissed anyone myself LMAO 👩🏽‍🦯

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TOUCHSTARVED HEADCANONS🍒

Who's a good kisser?

Kuras: In my mind he never kissed anyone but he has a natural gift for it. God did grant himself the ability to kisseth to the sir ☝️🤓 (I think he’s an adept of handkissing tho) Leander: The man fucked the whole city of Eridia, of course he developed some skills, but I imagine he almost only kiss with his tongue which is disgusting and tiring in the long run… (+ he likes to kiss your feet).  With someone he loves it might be slightly different tho, he’d love kissing you on the forehead. Vere: I hate to admit it but that man is 100% a good kisser, he even has a certification and all. If I can go a little further, I imagine kisses with Vere really cold, but head spinning, like, he knows what he’s doing but there’s no emotion at all in it.  If he has a love language, I don’t think it’s this one. Mhin: They don’t. They know how to smooch, but ask them to put the tongue and all, first: they find it disgusting; second: it’s a teeth knocking typa kiss. But they’re so precious, can you even blame them??? Ais: If Kuras is a S tier kisser, Ais is a god tier kisser (I’m completely unbiased, I swear). He doesn’t kiss just anyone and he puts his heart and soul into it. You receive one of his kisses, and it has the effect of a narcotic on you. For Ais, I think kissing your cheeks and/or neck is his way of showing affection.

Nikolai: Uh oh look who got caught under the mistletoe.

Sigma: IS THIS WHY YOU CORNERED ME?!

Dante: Okay Verge. Let’s play a game. Take a sip every time you see something stupid.

Vergil: *looks at his brother and takes a sip*

Dante: I hope you get fucking plastered and get robbed again.