I Hate Feeling So Alive, I Want To Be A Corpse Cold, Pale, And Sleeping.
I hate feeling so alive, I want to be a corpse cold, pale, and sleeping.
These infusions and pills... it's making my body feel human. I look healthy, I don't like it it's ruining my image
I don't want this i want to be back feeling dead and not healthy looking like. I hate being and looking like a human.
More Posts from Jaxr3l and Others
I see you online. Those messages I sent never seen for hours, days. I get that your busy. But being online for hours and don't have a chance to talk to me?
Just thinking about my death is so... mortifying. Thinking about getting hit by a train is so... so difficult. Jumping off a cliff is scary but yet all a slow painful deaths. I can imagine my whimpers in pain. Idk #vent
Sorry to vent again! I'm sorry
What hurts to is that I planned a family with them but now it's gone. I will need time to heal but I kinda need a guide and some sort of motivation to help me move forward and to have a better relationship with that person. 4/8/24
#help
Im on the cold floor
Never thought that I would be this hurt. I think we broke up, I just didn't think that they would do this to me in a most painful way. I really did love them I really do it does hurt. Now I have no friends at all it would still be nice to at least have a stranger comfort me for a second. Tho I will remember them for the good times and happiness. It hurts but I wanted to say thank you. Thank you❤️
4/8/24
HEHEHE
Although the thoughts of suicide haven't left, i think about them every day. It's a bit of a turn on to think about and at the same time, I want to experience the pain and death. When I say Death I laugh at the word. Because I feel aroused and I think about my death and other things that come along with it. I know I'm strange I'm sorry but it's true... by the way I still plan to cut and sadly shamelessly masturbate... just to get my mind in the clouds.
I'm going back to crying over everything. I hate it. I hate how alive I feel I hate this feeling i wish I could go back and be the pale lifeless emotionless person I was, I loved feeling so numbed and zombie like where I didn't cry for everything or worry about anything, I wish I was so tired and fragile like I was. These infusions and pills... are ruining me. Thanks alot.
