Latest Posts by lostpimplepatch - Page 4

Lois: Clark and I have decided that god forbid should anything horrible happen to us, we would like Bruce to be Jon's legal guardian.

Bruce*going over to pick Jon up*: That is great news! Did you hear that Jon? When something horrible happens you're going to be all mine!

Clark: It really is an if situation...

Bruce: All mine!

not to be "comment on fanfic even if they are oooold"

But I just read a pretty good fic published in 2014-2015 (you know, roughly TEN YEARS AGO) and I was like, damn this is so cool, I have to leave a comment, even if you know, they probably wont see it...

The author replied less than an hour later.

Dick, on the phone with Roy: I just think that Bruce actually hates me and doesn’t stand to be around me ever

Bruce, standing behind him wearing nightwing socks, nightwing cap, nightwing pants, “father to worlds best son” t-shirt, trying to hide a huge reprint of a picture of him and Dick he brought for Dicks new apartment behind his back:

I was rewatching Young Justice and the fact that all versions of Robin are the only one forced to keep their secret identity even with their teammates and friends is usually written off as Batman being paranoid. I think it's more than that, that it's his way of giving the kids an 'out'. If they ever decide they don't want to fight crime anyone they have a safe identity to return to, no obligations.

They are children first, soldiers second. Bruce knows better than anyone the loneliness his job brings and of course he would want better for anyone, especially his kids.

Alright. We’re settling this discourse once and for all.

In the tags, tell me your opinion on:

Mayonnaise

Frozen Yogurt 

Salt and Vinegar Chips

Sweet Potatoes

Kiwi

Ginger Ale

Microwave Ramen

Jason: "Don't attack, it's me."

Dick, staring at the target through the scope: "Finally, what took you so long--" *turns and stares*

Jason, in Discowing suit: "Bike had problems. What?

Dick: "You know what."

Jason: "Come on, you don't like my Halloween costume? Literally had to fight Robin 3 for it."

Dick:

Jason, grinning: "Too soon?"

Dick: "Let's just get this over with, I can't even look at you right now."

Jason, muttering as he takes the scope from him: "Holy self-loathing Batman."

Dick: *shoves him off the roof*

Specifically, Tim is for the kids who had parents with undiagnosed trauma and mental illnesses. The ones who had to gentle parent their own parents. The ones that have to remain stable even when they can't because they are needed.

Dick is for the eldest children that feel constant guilt for how their actions affect the rest of the family. In success, you set a standard too high for them and in failure you're taking away resources(time, emotional energy, money) that should have been theirs.

Somewhere in between, relating to them both, is the youngest that has to be happy all the time for the family to function. The one that gets made fun of when you need a joke. But also the one that knows everyone's triggers and is always paying attention to everyone's mood. The one whose work is never recognized because no one else has to be home as much as them, everyone else gets a break but them.

Dick is for the eldest sibling while Tim is for the parentified children and I think that's the most important difference between them

Concept: an episode of the Justice League cartoon where the MCs get sucked into a 90s teen movie… powers get reset to when they were that age.

Dick Grayson:

*runs the titans*

*works for the league*

*has a day job*

*solo patrols bludhaven*

*solo patrols New York*

*on call 24/7 for regularly scheduled Gotham crisis(es)*

*training at least 40% of new gen heroes at any given moment*

*infiltrating the current annoying cult, corrupt gov, spy organization, company, mafia group, evil underground ancestral foundations of a city and random corrupt modeling industry*

*monitoring drug pedaling in 3 cities*

*emotionally regulating 80% of his family bc why would they do it themselves? Nah let’s just ruin relationships for fun -cough Bruce cough-*

* maintaining civilian cover*

*canonically does volunteer work*

I am beginning to think nightwing doesn’t have anger issues he’s just overstimulated bc wtf

Like Dick take a break what is this?

————

Dick currently working on infiltrating the mob, after 4 days of 6+ hour patrols bc bludhaven has no chill an Arkham breakout, a performance review at work that took too long, organizing a titans outer space mission, just got back from training Jon Kent: no one call me plz god no one call me I can’t do this I have so much work no one. Call me plz

*phone rings* -it’s tim

He could ignore it but last time he left Tim alone for a month the dumbass lost his spleen and decided a cowl was a fashion choice (equally bad in his opinion)

Dick picking up the phone with his non broken arm: yello

Tim: so I accidentally maybe got kidnapped and maybe also started a cult around the concept of Batman and I’m out of energy drinks. (All equally dire in tims opinion)

Dick popping 4 caffeine pills: shut up I’ll be there in 30 don’t DO ANYTHing.

—————

Jason: sooo I might be engaged to an alien princess

Dick about to pop a Xanax: tell me it’s Kori or at least in this galaxy

Jason: nope

Dick: …. Can it wait

Jason: she wants to eat me, their species is like a praying mantis knockoff but with space and mind control.

Dick: yeah okay give me an hour I’ll call raven

————

Damian: hello Richard

Dick: what did you do.

Damian: I have been kidnapped by my mother

Dick: again

Damian: I feel it would be redundant to say anything

Dick: …….. alright I’ll call the nearest flying hero be there in a bit… keep ur spine where it is Damian or I swear to god-

——————

Bruce: cult

Dick who just got done with an undercover mission: anddd?

Bruce: we need someone to infiltrate it

Dick: I swear to god I. will. hurt. you

Bruce: hnnnn

——-

Babs: I have… acquired a child

Dick who is fighting deathstroke : …okayyyy

Babs who is watching the fight: she’s a little bit … traumatized

Dick, dodging a katana: preaching to the choir

Babs: can you do your whole, human empathy and kindness tell me ur life story I have puppy dog eyes.

Dick: ….

Babs: you owe me

Dick: … one day I will delete all your numbers and disappear

Babs cheerfully: you know no matter where you go I can find you hunk wonder see you in 3 hours don’t die before then!

This is just a mini info dump from an Arab batfamily fan because I find Damian calling his siblings Akhi... adorable (for me as a native speaker watching a writer use Arab words) and, not painful, just... itchy, it URGES me to make a pptx with 300 slides and just? Talk about Arabic?

So... أخي, Akhi, Brother.

It's not incorrect. The word is used in the right place and delivers its intended meaning. Other Arab speakers might not find a problem with it. They'd feel odd like I did but will likely go "eh" and carry on. But I'm an Arabic enthusiast, so...

Like with every language with geographically widespread users, the Arabic tongue kind of- deviated from its roots. The language has naturally branched out into so many dialects I myself can't keep track of.

Arabs from different regions can understand each other. They use the same words but for different purposes and with different pronunciations.

The original root language that holds them all (Quranic Arabic) was simplified into an easier, standard version that is used for formal speeches and as a communication bridge (seeing that you can't, say, translate something to Arabic and say it's for all Arabs if you use a certain dialect. Because an Arabic dialect is an identity at this point, tell me somebody is Syrian, and I know them already)

Now, with the fun part.

See, no Arab calls any sibling of theirs Akhi, I myself would burst laughing if mine did.

Yakhoi يَخوي (nonstandard, everyday Arabic for o, brother) , maybe, if I'm calling a stranger from the streets or an offender I'm going to give a piece of my mind.

Or, hold your breaths, my brother is crying, and the lights are out and I NEED to use the tenderest, most loving, most adoring, most revering tone I could muster so he just knows he is loved and family. Y'know? This specific situation.

And other Arabs might just say, no, I use it when, I use it when, I don't use it, etc.

The point is, nobody will mention Akhi. Because it's a Standard Arabic word, a formal word, and a word used in translated texts and stories when a foreign character we don't consider part of us call their brother. It's weird, it's devoid of emotions, and it's like watching a robot trying to be emotional, but it's a translated text. That's what translated texts use, and it's fine.

It is fine, Standard Arabic has been used for stories so much that nobody questions its influence on a character's characterisation.

I'm not saying Standard Arabic shouldn't be used for story writing, quite the opposite, in fact. I'm just saying that if Arabic is used to represent an Arab, its usage should also consider an everyday Arab experience and manners.

Now to Damian.

Akhi is robotic. Damian's personality does allow him to fall under that category. If for his well refined manners and polite, formal speech.

But even the King wouldn't call his brother Akhi.

He'd call him by his name. For my community (and most, I'm sure) siblings are called by their names, and if we look up historic Quranic (Root) Arabic speakers, they, too, call their siblings by their name. Yes, even the Sultan.

If not by actual name, then either endearing or demeaning names.

Arabs LOVE endearing names, but they're dipped in a pool of honey I don't think Damian would like to dive in.

Talia, on the other hand, would most certainly call Damian Mama. Arab parents call their kids by their own titles. It's the ultimate expression of parental love of all times, in my opinion.

(Don't make Batman call him Papa, though. Pretty sure Damian would malfunction)

-

Well, I said all that, but watching writers include Arabic words in his vocabulary is still sweet. Tt is not even a word, but it's such an Arab thing it's my favourite.

If only I could make subtitles of everyday Arab talk and show you, their speech is heavy with, excuse my English, word softeners, it's like they're talking in a TV drama and not the real world.

Watching Damian adopting it would be interesting :D

my friend has been slowly poisoning me with batman movies

Bruce and Tim’s autistic asses have never made eye contact with each other in their lives

Like an interviewer comments lightly on his habit of adopting kids with black hair and blue eyes and he says, absent-mindedly, “Tim doesn’t have blue eyes,” to which the interviewer answers, with great confusion, that he most certainly does, and Bruce suddenly realizes he has never once looked at Tim’s eyes without the domino on and had just sort of assumed they were brown, statistically

My Thoughts Watching Arcane S1!

I know from edits and stuff that powder becomes a villain but I really hope the siblings have their sibling relationship.

BAMF Vi, death flags have flown, powder being so proud of herself is painful and I hate misunderstanding tropes.

Jayce has no business bagging these baddies. I'm jealous.

This show is so gay omg I'm being fed

I have come to the conclusion Jayce is also a Baddie™.

I was expecting Mel to be kinda evil, seeing her be the voice of reason against senseless violence threw me off a bit.

The fight scene with Ekko and Jinx goes so hard!

The fight with Vi and Jayce goes insanely hard!!! I need this to be a video game but not League of Legends.

I kinda love that Silco isn't just a one dimensional villain and that he did love Jinx.

I fear I was wrong and Jinx may need to die for the sake of some semblance of peace :/ I'm all for the idea of choosing family over the world but holy shit the parallel of everything almost working put until Jinx intervenes hits

My girl Mel better not be dead :((

Will add as I watch S2!

Noble gases are clearly aroace I need people to disagree with the current majority even if you don't agree with me

Plz rb if you vote

Crying that, the minute Dick and Babs get married and have a kid, Bruce is like, "Nope, I'm out, I'm a grandpa now and I'm going to be as laser focused on building my life around this as I was focused on being Batman." 0 to 100mph Granddad Bruce, absolutely no in between, I have no notes whatsoever.

Jason and Tim have similar competence standards and end up swapping employees sometimes.

---

"Boss, I'm outta the game with this hip---"

"You're outta the beating-up-traffickers game. I got a guy who can get you into the scaring-the-rich game just fine."

"You mean, like...?" A fist into an open palm, quirked eyebrows.

"Nah, verbal intimidation only unless someone steps up to the plate. Mostly you got good eyes and this Wayne kid values having people around who can observe things that aren't spreadsheets."

"Hey, you said I did pretty good at that Excel thing!"

A pointed look.

"Ohhhh. I'm gonna get to learn spreadsheets and threaten people? Oh, man. Thanks, boss!"

"They've got the same insurance, too, so that'll roll over automatically."

---

Meanwhile, on Tim's end of things:

"I noticed that you tend to get impatient with slow results, that you're happy to yell at people for safety violations, and that your plan to remediate the company's incompetence in these areas involves 'firing every single one of them who can't get their head out of their ass.'" Tim smiled.

His employee smiled back. "I mean, that's why you hired me as safety supervisor, right?"

"Of course; your proactive attitude is one of the reasons we chose you. However, I also noticed that a lot of your frustration stems from employees whose work is being impacted by personal issues, often ones stemming from attacks by prominent local criminals."

"Listen, I'm from Minnesota. I know from cold. And I also know that you can't let a little hypothermia from Mr. Freeze screw up your numbers, especially not when those calculations impact lives." Squared shoulders, hands on the hips---yeah, definitely more of a cultural fit with Jason's organization.

Tim nodded and continued his pitch. "And you're competent with a firearm, correct?"

"Hey, I'm not about to go postal just because---"

"No, no, you misunderstand me. You're a skilled employee. I'm just wondering if you might benefit from transferring to a work environment in which you can shoot some of the people who are actually causing these problems."

"I'm sorry?"

"You have a dartboard with Leeds's face on it because he screwed up so many times after that Ivy incident put his kid in the hospital."

"...Okay, I admit that's not my best look."

"The organization I'm recommending you to has a printer next to the firing range; it's sized specifically for target paper."

"Oh."

"It's also an organization that works specifically to keep kids from needing to be in the hospital."

"Oh. You mean---" There was really only one group it could be.

"They need someone with your eye for logistics. Hood's work isn't 'legit,'" Tim made careful air quotes because the dorkiness tended to put people at ease, "but your insurance would roll over to them automatically. And you can rest assured that they take safety very seriously."

This is the funniest batfam meets JL crack fic I've read. Nightwing joins JL, they suspect him because he's close to B and it turns into the batfam doing a home alone on the JL. It's unserious and hilarious I was crying laughing and I really needed that after all the angst I've been consuming recently

write on the wall

I wish I knew how to draw or make edits because I have this very specific edit of Damian Wayne to the song God Must Hate Me by Catie Turner

The lyrics go

Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, God must hate me" 'Cause He spent so much time on them and for me, He got lazy Got ample mental illness personality flaws While their only flaw seems to be is that they have none at all Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, God must hate me" I'll let 'em take accountability For everything that's wrong with me Can't hold myself responsible So I blame the metaphysical If Jesus died for all our sins He left one behind, the body I'm in Same hands that made the moon and the stars Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts

And creative liberty with the lyrics here but I imagine it being about how being 'good' comes so easily to the others and yet he struggles so much. Especially in the point after bruce's 'death' he's questioning if he has any place in the family as robin when batman is no longer his father.

It's in my head and it plays on repeat when I'm listening to the song and I wish I could extract it from my head.

The way Jon mirrors Talia's pose.

Tim: You look like every girls first mistake

Jason: You look like you remind teachers about homework when the bells about to ring.

Tim: You probably WERE that kid weren't you, nerd?

Jason: Rather be a nerd than illiterate, what's the last book you read, Timmy?

Tim: Fuck you. You look like you eat refrigerator magnets!

Jason: Bitch- you look like you lick unknown substances just to find out what they are!

Tim: That was one time!!

Jason: Little freak!

Bruce: Whoa whoa! What the hell? What are you two arguing about?

Tim: Huh? We aren't arguing?

Jason: We're bondin' go away!

Bruce:

Bruce: ..Okay

Bruce doesn’t get enough credit for not caring about what others think AND being quick on his feet in every situation.

Imagine a gala where Lex Luthor has somehow tracked down who he thinks is Superman’s secret identity to one of the attendees, who he’s going to unearth by playing some high level frequency that only Kryptonians can hear (and hurts to be near).

Bruce clocks the device somehow during the initial schmoozing, turns on his (drunken) heel to (not so drunkenly) look for Clark, and drags Clark out by the lapels into the service hallway just in time to pin said Kryptonian to a wall and growl sorry under his breath.

Lex activates the device and the noise immobilizes Clark in pain. He’s crying real tears, eyes clenched shut, hands coming up to try and block out the frequency.

Bruce pushes his hands down, presses him back into the wall and kisses him. Hard. Almost hard enough to distract him. Salacious enough that anyone walking by would immediately avert their eyes.

Bruce’s hands cup Clark’s face, hiding the tears. He pins Clark’s hands between their chests so he can’t reach for his ears. To anyone who looks closely, Clark’s screwed up expression is from being kissed breathless by no other than Brucie Wayne himself.

Lex Luthor slips by, eyes sharp and looking for Superman. He passes them with a curled up lip and a distracted nod. The noise shuts off after a few minutes, unable to be sustained for long periods of time.

Bruce pulls back. Clark collapses forward into him, foreheads knocking together as the pain in his head begins to dull and the tears on his face start to dry. Weak and shivery, leaning on Bruce more than he ever has before.

“Okay?” Bruce asks quietly, instead of saying you’re welcome or that was closer than I’d like or even I’m sorry again.

Clark stares back at him, keenly aware of just how close that had been. And just how red Bruce’s lips are, suddenly.

Absolutely. In S1 when Zatara puts on the Dr.Fate helmet and Zatanna effectively loses her dad, Dick/Robin is hovering around her looking like he wants to comfort her. He knew better than anyone there the pain of losing a parent. But no one around him knew that part of his life.

Later on in the Haly's Circus episode, we see that Wally knows about his past but precisely because of that he doesn't bring him on the mission. It's a liability. But that makes him so very lonely and isolated going through that journey alone despite having a team around him.

I was rewatching Young Justice and the fact that all versions of Robin are the only one forced to keep their secret identity even with their teammates and friends is usually written off as Batman being paranoid. I think it's more than that, that it's his way of giving the kids an 'out'. If they ever decide they don't want to fight crime anyone they have a safe identity to return to, no obligations.

They are children first, soldiers second. Bruce knows better than anyone the loneliness his job brings and of course he would want better for anyone, especially his kids.

Dick: Knowing what to do in an emergency is very important, so I'll teach you some basic first aid procedures. For example, what would you do if I got stabbed?

Damian: Avenge you.

Jason: You became a fucking cop?! Ew.

Dick: Is that really worse than being a gang member or a terrorist?

Jason(Crime Lord, recognized publicly in several nations as a terrorist): Yeah?

I love when ACAB gets brought up in batfam fics and people dog on nightwing like this dumbass hasn’t been using the same technique since the 80s.

-the mob is bad… I’ll join them and ruin it inside out

-the cops are bad… I’ll join them and ruin the corrupt system

-spyral is bad …. I’ll join them and ruin it inside out

-the court of the owls is bad… I’ll join them and ruin it from the inside out

-deathstroke is bad …. I’ll raise his kids and ruin their relationship with him from the inside out.

-Aliens want to take over planet… this is bad… I’ll send someone to join them and ruin it from the inside out

Dick saw the BDP and went … yep the same routine I use for terrorists, spies, aliens and mobsters work.

AND YALL THINK DICK LIKES THE COPS?

Bro is just a professional cuckoo let him liveeeee

-

Batboys with their sometimes-disappeared in Speedforce/ blown up at Sanctuary/ died after beating the shit out of Superboy-Prime/ imprisoned by a twisted version of his dad/ killed after losing a fcking global vote-besties

Very in character but I raise you: while the others are fighting, Dick slowly puts down the Lorax

Batkids do a "hear me out" cake:

Tim: *Puts Talia to annoy Damien*

Damien: *Starts yelling at Tim while everyone else is trying not to laugh*

Jason: *Mentally freaking out while trying his hardest to act along with the bit*

batfamily thought: we need to bring back where the boys really don't follow anyone else besides their dad. They can work with others and lead a team very well. But unless it's for a mission, they do not follow anyone else's orders besides Bruce or Alfred. Especially if they're a person in a position of power they have zero respect for. The boys give batman a hard time and feel safe enough to question his orders or his methods (especially Jason), but at the end of the day he's their teacher. It's just built in the respect they have for him. Everyone else, if the bats don't respect you or don't need to fake respect for you they are full chaos gremlins. The worst is Dick. Because he is full of disrespectful while he has a flirty smile on his face. It's just this air of hidden superiority Dick has. Dick has been with batman the longest, someone he considers the "best". He can count on one had the people he's met that should be considered the "best". Yet Bruce is not fully aware of the type of loyalty he inspires.

Dick, tilting his head to the side painfully slow, eyebrows ever so slightly raised: “I’m sorry. Was that…a request?”

Oliver Queen, just now realizing the stupidity of trying to give Nightwing SON OF BATMAN a direct order:

Damian: I'm the blood son, heir to the demon so you must listen-

Jason: Keep talking and I'll give your mom a different heir

Bruce(batblob): ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

jason's the only person who can win in an argument against damian and nobody knows how until one day the boys get into a debate about whose plan to use for a case and damian threatens that if they don't listen to his plan and let him take the lead in an attack he'll make their lives a living hell forever and dick and tim don't know how to get him to step down until jason goes out of nowhere 'yeah ok demon brat why don't you take the lead and while you all fight i'll go have sex with your mom again how about that?'

silence for fifteen seconds. damian agrees to do jason's plan. dick and tim are fucking terrified.

THIS!! This theme persists throughout Tim's story. Where Bruce is unable to step away because of his trauma, guilt and lack of life outside Batman, Tim is unable to leave due to a sense of selflessness. In almost every step of the way he has a truly full civilian life waiting for him but he cannot leave Bruce and his family to drown in their grief alone. Because of what that means for them but also what it means for the city. He knows his role and has resigned to the fact that it is necessary regardless of his own needs and wants.

This is also what irks me about the "Rim is destined/likely to be a killer" characterization. While it is a really interesting concept, ignoring this incredibly selfless aspect of his motivation and replacing it with Batman's motivation is frankly wasted potential

the misinterpretation of a lonely place of dying by later retellings drives me nuts because ‘tim finds out who batman is’ is nearly not as much of a big deal as ‘tim doesnt want to be robin’ in the actual origin and it pretty much sums up whats wrong with modern tim drake. ALPOD is a tragic story of a twelve year old boy who had everything and willingly gave it up for a greater good. he is not like dick and jason who became robin to escape tragedy nor bruce who had everything and then lost it. robin was nothing but a curse he accepted to bear and he did so because of his selflessness. that selflessness is his driving rod, his smarts and physical talent are only the tools he uses to achieve his goals. he is not ‘the smart one’, he is a sacrificial lamb for a cause he became an unwilling spectator of. a twelve year old boy thought ‘people need saving, its that simple’ and put on the clothes a dying kid not much older than him wore because of nothing more than his selflessness and everyone he loved paid the price for it. he paid an even greater price for it.