Queen Texts #4

Apollo: [to Hades and Cerberus] Alright, Shaggy and Scooby, you take the sinks, I’ll check the cabinets, and, Velma, you get the spooky-looking fridge.

Athena: What?! Why do I get this...dubious-looking device?

Apollo: Because only Velma would say ‘dubious device.’ Velma gets the spooky fridge.

Hades: Who does that make you, Apollo? Fred?

Apollo: Bitch, I’m Daphne.

Hades: Persephone kissed me!!

Zeus: [gasp] No!

Poseidon: [squeals] Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!

Hades: It’s unbelievable.

Poseidon: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!

Zeus: Okay okay, we wanna hear everything. Poseidon, get the wine and unplug the phone. Hades, does this end well or do we need tissues?

Hades: Oh it ends verrry well.

Poseidon: [rushing over with wine glasses] Don’t start without me! Don’t start without me!

Zeus: Alright, let’s hear about this kiss. Was it like a soft brush against your lips, or was it like a, y'know, “I gotta have you now” kinda thing?

Hades: Well, at first it was kinda of intense, y'know and then… oh god, and then we just sorta sunk into it…

Zeus & Poseidon: [squealing] Awwwwwww!

(Scene changes to Persephone, Artemis, and Hecate casually eating pizza)

Persephone: And uh, and then I kissed him.

Artemis: Tongue?

Persephone: Yeah.

Hecate: Cool.

Theo: hey nice hands

Sept: thanks?

Theo: i bet they'd look better wrapped around my

Abel: wrAPPED AROUND THE BIBLE PRAISE THE LORD AMEN

Los Chicos Del Zodiaco

Aries:

- Optimista.

- Impulsivo.

- Le gusta tomar riesgos.

- Impaciente.

- Algo infantil.

Tauro:

- Leal.

- Trabajará para conseguir aquello que quiere.

- Generoso.

- Amable.

- Confiable.

Géminis:

- Misterioso.

- Curioso.

- Energético.

- Multi tareas.

- Amigable.

Cáncer:

- Le gusta dar regalos.

- Reflexivo.

- Reservado.

- Algo pervertido.

- Artístico.

Leo:

- Independiente.

- Buen lider.

- Quiere ser apreciado.

- Puede motivar a alguien fácilmente.

- Puede llevarse bien con los demás.

Virgo:

- Serio.

- Determinado.

- Ordenado.

- observador.

- Ahorrador.

Libra:

- Encantador.

- Lo que ves es lo que obtienes.

- Raramente está solo.

- No puede quedarse quieto.

- Temperamental.

Escorpio:

- No le gusta admitir que se ha equivocado.

- Celoso.

- No intentes prepararle una sorpresa, ya la sabrá.

- Aprecia la amistad.

- Tiene la mente abierta.

Sagitario:

- Le encanta viajar.

- Da miedo cuendo se enfada.

- Un poco impaciente.

- Trabaja bien bajo presión.

- Honesto.

Capricornio:

- A veces es un poco perezoso.

- Despreocupado.

- Leal.

- Pesimista.

- Prudente.

Acuario:

- Racional.

- Frio.

- Algo excentrico.

- Es más sabio de lo que piensas.

- Puede llegar a ser impredecible.

Piscis:

- No puede decir no.

- Creativo.

- Empatico.

- Leal.

- Tiene una personalidad adictiva.

Hades: ALL RIGHT LISTEN UP YOU LITTLE SHITS

Hades: Raven, not you, you’re an angel and we’re happy to have you here.

“About 1969, I opened a stall in Kensington Market, which was one of the hippest places in London. I used to run it with this bloke, Freddie, who I knew because he regularly came to see Smile, the band Brian and I were in at the time. Me and Fred used to sell old Edwardian clothes and scarves that he picked up from various nefarious dealers. Back then, I didn’t really know him as a singer—he was just my mate. My crazy mate! If there was fun to be had, Freddie and I were usually involved.” - Roger Taylor 

Hermes: Putting 'uwu' at the end of a sentence makes that sentence cute and unharmful.

Aphrodite: I love you uwu

Hephaestus: I just got food uwu

Ares: I'm gonna murder you uwu

Hephaestus: Please don't do that uwu

Ares: No promises uwu

freddie : it’s saint patrick’s day. the holiday of my people.

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brian : you’re not Irish.

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freddie : binge drinkers.

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roger, from across the room : aMEN!

Asra picking up a call: hello?

Julian calling Asra: I need help, it’s MC

Asra: what’s wrong!?

Julian: well, ever since they got their memories back, they’ve been saying strange things

Asra: what kinds of things?

Julian: well once they yelled about a potion bottle being empty, and then they threw it across the room screaming “yeet”??

Asra: … Jul-

Julian: and another time we were at the market and they screamed “fuck yo chicken strips”?? and they’ve also been doing this weird motion with their arms and calling it a dab?? do you think Lucio is trying to possess them or-

Asra: calm down Julian, I think I know what’s wrong

Julian close to crying: what is it!?

Asra: I think they have Ligma

Julian: Ligma?? I’ve never heard of that, what is it!?

Asra: lig-ma-nuts!!

MC who has been listening in behind julian: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Julian: *SCREAMS*

Person: I HATE YOU.

Hades: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Person: I HATE YOUR SONS.

Hades: (ง'̀-‘́)ง