Hades: Just Had An Emotional Breakthrough With The Dog. I’m That High

Same fucking energy

Theo: *phone starts ringing*

Cain: *looks at who’s calling*

Cain *grimaces*: you still call our dad ‘daddy’?

Theo: *answers the call and makes direct eye contact with Cain*

Theo: Hello, Adonis.

Cain: *chokes on drink*

Poseidon: I woke up with my shoes on but my pants were in the fish tank

freddie : i dropped 35 pounds in like a month, just by cutting out beer.

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roger : giving up beer must have been hard.

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freddie : not really. i just replaced it with vodka.

Zeus: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly.

Hades, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

Underworld social networks

Hades: tumblr. Never reblogs anything, but follows a lot of science blogs and entertains himself thinking how smart he is. His nickname is Hector.

Lucifer: Twitter. Strictly professional, only uses it for official communication.

Charon: goodreads. He doesn't really use it as a social network, but he needs to keep track of the books he has read.

Cerberus: no social network. (But there's a user in some porn webs called @BadassGuardian that just happens to like the same things as him).

Cain: he is that one troll in every social network ever. He also happens to follow a lot of fashion channels both in YouTube and instagram

Abel: he's that one guy who never logs off Steam.

Ambrosius: YouTube. He follows dance channels and tries to copy the choregrafies.

Akin: tumblr. He's in every Fandom. OTPs, shipping, crying when one of his OTPs becomes Canon... he is the ultimate fanboy.

Lea: instagram. Fashion, weapons and videos of herself training (and looking fabulous while doing it).

roger : *sneezes*

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freddie : hey everyone, roger sneezes like a girl!

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roger : tHEN HOW ABOUT I POUND YOU LIKE A BOY that didn’t sound right-

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freddie : no no, continue.

From “Soft Spoken Spells: Poems for Your Inner Witch” by Nichole McElhaney

Theo: hey nice hands

Sept: thanks?

Theo: i bet they'd look better wrapped around my

Abel: wrAPPED AROUND THE BIBLE PRAISE THE LORD AMEN

Hades: Ow! A paper cut!

Hades: …Death is all around me…

Thanatos: *looks up from reading* what did you say buddy?