Dionysus: How Do I Get Ceberus From Licking Me? I’m Scared He’ll Get Drunk Off My Sweat

Hades: I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my lifetime.

Lucifer: How many?

Hades: How many kids do I have again?

John: Can you do me a small favor?

Freddie: I’d literally die for you, but go on.

john: i wanna be taken out

brian: like, on a date or by a hitman?

john: either one would be fine

therapist: and what do we say when someone upsets us?

hades: i’m going to send your soul to the fields of punishment for eternal torture?

therapist: no.

Athena, explaining why Dionysus should drink water: Water solves all your problems! Wanna lose weight? Drink water! Clear skin? Drink water.

Ares, from across the room: Tired of someone? Drown them!

Dania: Am I in trouble?

Lucifer: Have a guess.

Dania: No?

Lucifer: Have another guess.

Hades: Is it wrong for me to wish my dog had arms to get me a beer?

Hades: I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!

hades: I am above all of you

hades: my eagerness, ability, and knowledge triumphs over all of you

hades: I am more mature and advanced than-

persephone: hey hades your dinosaur chicken nuggies are ready

hades: N i C e

Freddie: *takes a deep breathe*

Freddie: I lov—

Mary: We know

John: you just love Ro

Brian: ger

Mary: Roger

Brian: so much,

John: we know,

Mary: you

Brian: love him

John: we get it,

Mary: WE

John: G E T

Brian: IT

Freddie:

Freddie:

Freddie: Guys, I was going to say that I love this apple juice.

Mary:

Brian:

John:

Freddie: Roger loves apple j—