John: I Wanna Be Taken Out

hades: I am above all of you

hades: my eagerness, ability, and knowledge triumphs over all of you

hades: I am more mature and advanced than-

persephone: hey hades your dinosaur chicken nuggies are ready

hades: N i C e

Life lessons I’ve learned from the men of Queen

Brian: It’s cool to be smart, to love math and science, to look up at the stars. Struggling with a mental illness doesn’t make you weak or unloveable. It’s cool to care about social issues, other people, animals, the planet. We all make mistakes; it’s how you move forward that matters.

John: It’s okay to be introverted, to be quiet, to only speak when you have something to say. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself if people don’t listen. It’s cool to be a homebody, to find joy in your partner and children. Love your friends fiercely, even if it hurts sometimes. It’s okay to grieve in your own way. Dance like no one is watching.

Freddie: It’s cool to be yourself, no matter who that is. Be kind, be a mentor, be a peacemaker, take others under your wing. You are never alone. If you have a dream, don’t give up: live it, breathe it, pour everything you have into it. Don’t settle for less than true love. Live without regrets.

Roger: It’s okay to be loud, to be fearless, to be outspoken about things that matter. Take risks. Make friends. Collect new experiences like souvenirs. Don’t let anyone dismiss your point of view. Protect those you love with your life. We only get so much time here on Earth; have fun with it. 

Hades: Is it wrong for me to wish my dog had arms to get me a beer?

Persephone: Stop spending money on stupid stuff.

Hades: Okay

[later]

Persephone: What the hell?

[Cerberus walks by in a tuxedo]

Hades: He's getting married.

Dionysus when he was a demigod, entering Olympus like :

Persephone: It's impossible to say the word "bubbles" and make it sound threatening.

Thanatos: ...

*15 minutes later*

Hades: Can someone tell me why Thanatos has been screaming "bubbles" angrily in his room for the past 15 minutes?

Zeus: For future reference, singing “eye of the tiger” outside my door while I’m having sex makes me extremely uncomfortable

Athena: apparently not uncomfortable enough to stop

roger : if the earth is flat, then explain why my life has been going downhill constantly.

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

brian : no that’s not-

hades: who's a good demonic guardian of hell? WHO'S a good demonic guardian of hell?

cerberus: ???????????????

hades: you are!

cerberus: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ares: Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...