Ares: Oh And Sorry For Almost Killing All Of Us Last Night... Twice...

roger : *sneezes*

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

freddie : hey everyone, roger sneezes like a girl!

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

roger : tHEN HOW ABOUT I POUND YOU LIKE A BOY that didn’t sound right-

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

freddie : no no, continue.

Lucifer: Imagine if someone handed you a box of all the thing you’d lost over the years

Abel: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thanks for finding this!

Hades: My will to live! I haven’t seen this in 15 years!

Cain: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Theo: Mental stability, my old friend!

Lucifer: …could you guys lighten up a little?

waiter : are you all set to order?

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

roger : yes. can i get a milkshake with two straws please?

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

dominique : aww that’s sw-

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

roger, putting both straws in his mouth : watch how fucking fast i can drink this.

Via @kindofroger Instagram :

Freddie: we’re gonna do a few acoustic songs right now

Roger: whoo!

Freddie: go, do another one, they want it

Roger: WHHHOOOOOOOHOO!!!

Freddie: he’s the man of the group

Theo: *phone starts ringing*

Cain: *looks at who’s calling*

Cain *grimaces*: you still call our dad ‘daddy’?

Theo: *answers the call and makes direct eye contact with Cain*

Theo: Hello, Adonis.

Cain: *chokes on drink*

*March 31*

Thanatos: So you know how you've been really happy that you haven't had to have any meetings with anyone?

Hades: ... yeah?

Thanatos: That's because every time someone requests a meeting with you, I schedule it for March 31.

Hades: Why

Thanatos: Because I didn't think March 31 existed.

Hades: So how many do I have today?

Thanatos: ... 93

John in his white ‘Headlong’ shirt, 1991 (Innuendo)

Apollo: [to Hades and Cerberus] Alright, Shaggy and Scooby, you take the sinks, I’ll check the cabinets, and, Velma, you get the spooky-looking fridge.

Athena: What?! Why do I get this...dubious-looking device?

Apollo: Because only Velma would say ‘dubious device.’ Velma gets the spooky fridge.

Hades: Who does that make you, Apollo? Fred?

Apollo: Bitch, I’m Daphne.

roger : i need your help. you’re sneakier than me, you’re a better liar than me and you have no moral compass.

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

freddie : look, those are nice compliments, but i’m busy.