Persephone: I Know It Was You Because You’re The Only Person I Know Who Gets Drunk And Craves Soup

greek gods as things my friends do

Zeus: says ‘my man’ after every sentence, regardless of the gender

Poseidon: sprays his gatorade bottle at people who are being mean to him

Hades: says ‘I wanna die’ at any mild inconvenience

Hera: rants about the girls that are mean to her

Demeter: threatens to break into her friends houses if they forget to pack a lunch

Hestia: hugs everyone for no apparent reason

Apollo: draws all over tests and folders

Artemis: rants about feminism 

Athena: smacks people with books, usually for them being mildly irritating

Aphrodite: “here’s” *tap* “the motherfucking” *tap tap tap* “tea” *tap*

Ares: says “fight me” at random times for no reason

Hephaestus: gives everyone disapproving looks while quietly watching them from afar

Hermes: runs fucking everywhere. like, we have to go to the other side of the gym which would take 20 seconds of walking? let’s fucking sprint bois

Dionysus: pationately rants about how drugs should be legal

Aphrodite: You can't buy happiness!

Hades: Clearly you don't have enough money to buy a dog.

Ares: trust no one in laser tag. No one.

John + yellow  ✧  for @dalliscar

Hades: ALL RIGHT LISTEN UP YOU LITTLE SHITS

Hades: Raven, not you, you’re an angel and we’re happy to have you here.

Poseidon: I woke up with my shoes on but my pants were in the fish tank

Alternative responses to ''I love you''

Abraxas: Who doesn’t

Diao Chan: Thanks

Bahamut: I know

Tyr: *finger guns*

Byakko: A horrible decision, really

Uriel: *laughs nervously*

Chronos: why

Lucifer: I’m sorry

Hades: *laughs hysterically*

Apollo: can we agree to not tell mom about this

Artemis: this isn't even the most disappointing thing I know about you

Poseidon: dude, you’re never picky with who you hook up with. Have a little dignity

Zeus: nah man, hook ups are like Pokémon, gotta catch ‘em all

Hermes: I’ll be there in 5 minutes. If not, read this again