Percy: Why Do You Hide Your True Form When You Go Out In Public?

Reyna: Who's in charge here in camp halfblood?

Percy: ..............

Piper: ...........

Nico: Well, that's usually the one who yells the loudest

Sadie: Uncle Amos! I need your help! I-

Amos: Is the house on fire, Sadie?

Sadie: .........No?

Amos: Then it's not really an emergency. *hangs up*

Jaz: What did he say? What should we do about the portal to hell in the living room?

Sadie: Apparently, it's not really an emergency

Carter, being strangled by a monster: IS THIS NOT AN EMERGENCY-

If tacos can fall apart and still be amazing so can you

Demeter: So, on to plan B?

Athena: technically, this is plan G

Posiedon: Like how many plans do you have. What about a plan H?

Athena: Yes, but Apollo gets thrown into tartarus in plan H

Artemis: I like plan H

Percy: You know that if I touch water it heals me right?

Annabeth: Yeah, why?

Percy: Would the same happen to you if you touched a dictionary?

Annabeth: .............

Percy: .........

Percy: That was a serious question

Annabeth: The gods literally condemned you to die, how are you still alive?

Percy: bold of you to assume any God is stronger than my spite

*Sirius writing a letter to James*

Sirius: Deer James,

Lily: It's Dear

Sirius: No It's not

Percy: Have you ever had one of those days when you're holding a stick

Percy: And e v e r y o n e looks like a freaking piñata