my-ugly-organs

Latest Posts by my-ugly-organs

all i feel is anger

ko-fi ✮ shop ✮ redbubble

reblog to cast level 5 spell: everyone who reads this gets a full night sleep

JOINTS IS PAIN

them: r u ok

me:

Bernhard Schlink, The Reader (translated by Carol Brown Janeway)

“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and they will come forth, later, in uglier ways.”

— Sigmund Freud

He says things that makes me go “haha same”

Were your intentions really good, though?

Reflect on that, look inward

Be better

The road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions

"Poem" by Langston Hughes I loved my friend.  He went away from me.  There’s nothing more to say.  The poem ends,  Soft as it began,— I loved my friend.

Alt stills under the cut:

thanks as always to Trigun Ultimate Overhaul for the Manga scans!

Trigun Stampede Opening Main Chorus + English Lyrics (Kvi Baba - Tombi)

(Official translation by Minako Ikeshiro)

Adding to this,

YOU ALSO CANNOT HATE YOURSELF INTO A BETTER PERSON

i repeat

YOU CANNOT HATE YOURSELF INTO BECOMING A BETTER PERSON.

REMEMBER THIS.

what im learning is that you cannot avoid your way into a life you enjoy

The road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions the road to hell is paved with good intentions

It would be simpler if conviction burned away everything else. But it doesn’t make consequences disappear; it just straightens your spine when you force yourself to look at them.

— Leslie Jamison, Splinters: Another Kind of Love Story (Little Brown and Company, February 20, 2024)

“The blood flowed freely in my veins, but a weight of despair and remorse pressed on my heart, which nothing could remove.”

— Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

Désolé

Désolé - my take on what the video/song means

So overall i think this video/song is about Murdoc not feeling like the band needs him and he finally realizes what he's done towards them and how horrible it was.

Désolé means sorry in French and this can be either from the band saying that they're sorry but they cannot accept Murdoc yet or it's Murdoc saying that he's sorry for what he's done.

"I'm a long way from land

Désolé

I don't know what to do

Désolé, désolé

Try to hold on to you"

This is about Murdoc trying to hold onto the band but he can't because they've come so far without him.

Symbolism

The gloves - symbolizes that anyone can take Murdoc's place. That's why they're green because they could be his hands. Noodle is the only other one in the band that can also play the bass.

The monsters - there are monsters in our everyday life, this can mean trauma or some form for inner demons. They're foggy but they are still there.

Ties to Plastic Beach

Désolé seems like it is also about 2D getting over Plastic Beach. We can see this through 2D going on a boat ride. He's happy and has an overall good time compared to Murdoc being left behind and crying.

I've seen people say this is like a reverse Plastic Beach and that Murdoc and 2D have switched roles in a way

Here are 2 parallels i noticed between Désolé and Plastic Beach

Désolé - Gorillaz . https://youtu.be/ZLKZKmdZEjM

Désolé, désolé quand tu pars (Sorry, sorry when you leave) Désolé, I’m a long way from land Desolé, I don’t know what to do Désolé, désolé, try to hold on to you

Fun fact, désolé both means sorry and desolate in french! This song struck me as very… Theon Greyjoy angst. Just a lil doodle for the sad, dead meow meow, with some alt vers for eye candy.

As the ground right under me crumbles as if it wasn't there.

It's too much, my heart's crushed, i'm not alive.

I don't know who to call, alone.

I won't die.

My life has succumbed to hatred and death, alone

in the snow.

Hyacinth 🪻🫶

part of the process of learning to take responsibility for your actions is learning what things you can't take responsibility for. not just to protect you (e.g., from your own feelings of guilt; from people taking advantage of your willingness to take responsibility by attributing blame to you unfairly), but because to take responsibility is not just to say "it was my fault and i'm sorry" but to actually do things (to make amends and to mitigate and prevent future harm), and if you don't understand what to take responsibility for, you aren't going to understand how to take responsibility.

there is a lot that's outside of your control. people put a lot of emphasis on forgiveness in a way that i think is missing the point. being forgiven is not my priority. my priority is that i am doing what it is in my power to do. i can't control how that's received. i'd like it to be received well; i'm doing what i'm doing because i want to repair harm that i have caused to another person, so it matters to me if what i'm doing is actually achieving that goal or not. but there's only so much that i can do to achieve that goal, and if i'm doing it, and the harm is not repaired, that's okay. that's beyond my control. i have to make my peace with the fact that i've caused harm to another person that is not resolved, because i'm doing what i can and i have to continue living on this earth, and in continuing to live i'm going to be living with the fact of that unresolved harm. the most important thing at that point is for me to use my knowledge of the specific ways in which my actions harmed that person to change my behavior going forward to avoid causing that harm again, to the extent that that's within my power.

it doesn't do anyone - you or the people you have harmed - any good for you to assign responsibility to yourself for things that you can't control. if you're going to attempt the active work of repair and change you have to first identify what it's possible to repair and change. you can't actually repair a relationship all by yourself! you can only change your own behavior. you can only offer amends to the other person that they may or may not find sufficient. not to go all serenity prayer on you but guilt for the sake of guilt just makes you feel way more powerful than you actually are (because you think that everything happened because of you) and at the same time completely incapable of exercising your power (because you don't understand what your power actually is). to effect change you have to focus on the things you can actually change. focusing on the things you can't change is a problem not just because it's taking your focus away from the things you can change, but because it means you don't actually understand the sphere of your own influence. you're operating under what is essentially a self-centered worldview in which you could make everything better, you could prevent all harm, if only you were trying harder, if only you were a better person. who does that serve? it doesn't reflect reality. it makes you hate yourself and feel sorry for yourself at the same time, and it doesn't actually improve things for the people you harmed. it doesn't help keep you from harming people in the future, because you don't understand the territory and the limits of the causal relationship between your actions and other people's reactions to them.

you can only do what you can do. what you can't do, you can't do, and you can't take responsibility for doing, either in the past or present. after you realize that there is harm to repair the next step in the process of repair is to ask yourself what your responsibility is for the past and what your agency is going forward. everything else will follow from that. you simply cannot skip that step.

A. Ramachandran (Indian, 1935-2024), Dead Lotus Pond in Winter (Diptych), 2017. Oil on canvas, 78 x 96 in.

Lotus pond

Zenkoji temple, Nagano, Japan