"I ate extra bleached paper as a child." "what are you? a cop?" "immortality costs an arm and a leg, I'm on a loan." "you know that fear of getting caught in an escalator?" "it's a long story including, (insert unhinged items), (random person)< (weird location)" (switch it up each time)
Some funny/less paltable things you can say when people invasively ask why you have a mobility aid!
"It's a weapon."
Ignore them
Something dramatic like "Oh I was attacked by a shark" or "I got caught in a zombie apocalypse"
"It's to spice up my outfit"
"I tried to build an army of insert favorite animal and they turned on me :("
"What insert mobility aid?"
"Why do you have an insert mobility aid?"
"Why do you not have an insert mobility aid"
"Do I know you?"
"Yeah I guess I just couldn't wait for my 60s"
"Just to bother you."
"Just to confuse you."
"Wouldn't you like to know"
"I went through a wildly traumatic experience, thanks for asking"
RB/comment your go-to when somebody asks about your mobility aid!
when I said my account was a safe place, I was excluding the problem men.
The goods one are welcome and loved, but the bad ones? I let God deal with you.
“You’re so strong for that..”
Thanks but that’s not all I am, let me be sad, frustrated, fearful, or even God Forbid- let me be soft.
spoke deeply to me.
being chronically ill with fluctuating symptoms is so annoying because when it's at it's worst im like "okay i desperately need some type of mobility aid right now, i haven't been able to leave my house in days" but then i'm able to go for a walk one day and suddenly i feel like im exaggerating my symptoms and that i actually can walk fine and it would just be embarrassing and pointless to ask for a mobility aid assessment
but like ... not struggling as much one day doesn't take away from the days that i struggle the most
our pain is valid even when it's not at it's worst and we deserve the accommodations we need even if we don't always need them at all times
look I'm a disability studies scholar so I know why people are like this. but. people really do get so pressed about the dumbest shit. why do you care if someone has multiple people in their head? why do you care if someone is existing with a mobility aid in your line of sight? why do you care if someone takes a couple extra seconds to formulate a sentence? even if you don't believe that someone is legitimately disabled (which is bad on its own. but still). what do you lose by just taking people at face value? and what do you gain by living life as an angry little ass all the time?
oh to be able to cover a letter that I have spilled my heart onto in a confession of love with my lipstick so that the love of my life can treasure the little bit of me that has mad the distance.
the bones. they ACHE.
someone on the news claiming that "adhd is fashionable" meanwhile people are still dicks if you forget things easily, need people to give clear instructions, ask someone to repeat themselves, or can't sit still for longer than half an hour at a time. this is like saying "ocd is fashionable" because people like to say they're "a little ocd" when they like things organised