When I Say That I Don't Want To Exist Right Now, That Doesn't Mean I Want To Die. Not To Me It Doesn't.
When I say that I don't want to exist right now, that doesn't mean i want to die. Not to me it doesn't. All it means is I want to disconnect from myself. To not feel my own emotions, to not hear my brain rile on and on, to not feel my skin on my body, to not feel, to not hear, to not taste, to not smell, to not see but still observe. I don't want to be interacted with like a person when I wish to not exist. I wish to a narrator, a viewer, a camera-man. I wish that I could fast forward to when this was a memory. I know it may seem concerning, or maybe a bit outlandish, but it makes sense to me. I want to not be there but still be there. I want to not be acknowledged by anyone and to simply watch. Watch others experience what's happening. And I want to not experience it. I don't want it. I just want to sit in the corner and watch. But when someone's in the corner watching, someone has to whisper. Has to ask questions. Has to make me exist. I don't want that. I don't want to exist, but I don't want to die either. It does make sense to me, but not everyone is me. I don't mind that either. But I want to be able to say that I am not existing and for people to understand. For them to not be concerned about the kid in the corner. About the guy sitting in silence. About your suspiciously quiet friend. I am simply not for now, and I hope you can accept that.
More Posts from Ostriches-because-i-said-so and Others
fluffy pigeon
The gender be gendering and being a boy sure is awesome hope it don't change anytime soon this is great!
I say that now but wait till tomorrow when I reblog this like "lol gues what fuckers!" because my luck be like that
I need to know something. Reblog this if you love Dakota and Cavendish
IT'S MATPAT!!!
THE GREATEST THEORIST OF ALL TIME PROBABLY!!!
WHERE ARE YOU GETTING UR BRAIN GROWTH FROM IF NOT MATPAT?!?!?!?!!?
Had a thought
QUICK
which one of these is cuter?
ℬ or 𝒰
Oh good, another thing the emu and the ostrich have in common
you may be chronically online but at least you don’t have tumblr open on your phone AND laptop right now
As an AFAB with consistent nosebleeds who also frequently eats pizza asking me what the red substance on my clothes is is like playing bingo but everyone playing is blind deaf and mute. No one wins here but at the same time everyone does and also no one loses except everyone does. Is that confusing? Good, I need to take my iron supplements.
-
ostriches-because-i-said-so reblogged this · 5 months ago -
ostriches-because-i-said-so liked this · 5 months ago
-
ostriches-because-i-said-so reblogged this · 5 months ago
Just a peep doing what I want cuz that chaotic tumblr energy makes me feel sparkly! Call me Ozzy!
240 posts