In My Best *NSYNC Impersonation: 🎶It’s Gonna Be Gay 🎶

Friend: “How’s that book coming along?”

Me: “Which one?”

Friend: “You already finished one?!”

Me and my seventeen half-finished prologues of various novels and thirty other abandoned books with absolutely no endings: “Well, you see...”

Sorry man, it’s the rules, if you want to rob me you have to roll intimidation

Also, a dire bear has suddenly appeared behind you and you should probably do something about that

Remember- always carry some premade character sheets and a one-shot with you so if you’re mugged, you can distract your attacker by getting them to take part in an impromptu D&D session!

Something I did not expect was how profoundly funny it was to show up to the airport with a doctor’s note as a grown ass man to get out of doing the TSA’s naked machine

My dad, a bodybuilder desperately begging: please stop skipping leg day

Me, a trans guy with beefy thicc goth mommy legs: no

Tag yourself I’m fuck it let’s sign up for basket weaving

i don’t want to be the best at anything. that would be stressful & wouldn’t leave room for much else

i would like to be reasonably good at a handful of things. but mostly i want to enjoy doing things, and to find fulfillment in doing them. the level of “skill” I reach is very much secondary.

I have a friendship that is literally just this

Just her keeping me updated on all the shit happening in her life

I hate so many people I’ve never met, like, if we were walking and she was like, “yeah that’s Jared over there” I’d strait up punch a bitch and he’d have no idea why

#memes #funny 

Now I can’t stop thinking of a vampire politely knocking on the bedroom window of a house whispering “can I come in please?”

I was thinking about how vampires need permission to enter a home and then immediately thought: Damn, vampires would make really bad house burglars.

Look, I’m not saying for sure you’re a trans man, I’m just saying you obsessed a little too hard over Spider-Man as a kid

what I imagine heterosexual marriage to be like

brad: hey hon, whats for dinner

susan: vegetable soup

brad: 

susan: what

brad: its just that I had a really long day at work and I was hoping for a little more than….vegetable soup

susan: im fucking your brother

School really had me thinking my biggest problem was gonna be quicksand