Also, I Like That The Myth Specifically States Medusa Turns Any Man Who Looks At Her Eyes Into Stone,

something u need to understand about me is that me and my brain are NOT friends and she is NOT helpful to me. bitch gives me all these thoughts and feelings and is like "deal with these for me will u?" GIRL YOU'RE LITERALLY THE GUY IN CHARGE

Say it Ain’t So on infinite repeat in a Barnes & Nobel that never closes

Have you considered:

Modern furniture is a vengeful god that was never meant to be touched and all those who dare defy it will suffer eternal pain from the pits of hell

Real talk I hate modern interior design. I loathe it. I detest it in the personal vindictive way typically reserved for middle school bullies and extended family members who vote republican. Modern furniture design is grotesque, and not in the fun freaky way I respect. It is disgusting. It is morally indefensible. It has no back support, provides no comfort, no joy, no cushion for my tush or my spine. Minimalism does not exist for you, it in fact resents your very presence and the fact of your birth. These worthless sticks of chrome and pleather furniture are shaped solely to stroke the slimy egoes of fool designers & capitalists & hipster-cum-sports bars that charge $12 for an appetizer. Such morally defunct furnishings are for observation and corporate office waiting room decoration only, their raison d'etre is stubbed toes and back pain, they exist to punish you for having the needs of flesh, how dare you mistake them for friends

This

nothing brings me more joy than repeatedly doing a bit that my mother dislikes

Are… are these trees on fire or do I need to see someone about my pyromania?

With the way 2020 has been going, this sounds more like a prophecy at this point, and honestly I wouldn’t be surprised

There were oddly shaped giant squids who could hijack the human neural system. That’s why going around at night outside the gates of my campus alone was deadly. I had to leave, though, because it was better than the ghosts and whatever else I had accidentally set free from under the school floorboards previously.

Unrealistic scenario: “these ancient runes roughly translate to: abandon hope all ye who enter”   “huh I wonder what that could mean”

Better scenario: “the runes basically say ‘you enter you die’”  “well now we HAVE to go in”

Dramatically opens the door to the classroom on the first day of school wearing this.

“Sorry I’m late. Please, continue.”

Galia Lahav Spring 2017

i need to stop picking at my face but the problem is theres Textures On There and i would prefer if there Werent

In my best *NSYNC impersonation: 🎶It’s gonna be gay 🎶