When I Like Or Relate To A Character Enough, I'll Often Take Their Name And Use It For Myself. Im Not

I've always really liked the rain. I don't know why so many people think of it as a sort of burden. It's quite corny, but I'd like to just sit in the rain and hear it hit the top of my umbrella as i read or listen to music or something. I like to come up with reasons as to why we have the rain [of course, I know the scientific reason but the fantasy ones are so much more fun] My favourite one is the rain comes from the weeping of a villain who's just found their town destroyed they expected to be the hero but along the way, they were broken till they got blindsided by their goal, without realizing they were the downfall of their once lovely town. I think the rain is quite romantic, to be honest. All the most meaningful moments im movies usually happen in the rain or witt a rain like atmosphere at least. I would rather enjoy the sound of it on Windows, too. It's soothing in a way.. Lots of people say they hate the rain and that's fine but who hasnt sat in a car on a long drive watching the trees cars and the world pass by them as the rain falls almost In slow motion tapping on the car and windows lightly.. it's corny, I know, but still. I like to put on soft music and listen to it and the rain. It's also just very calming when you're busy working or writing. Has anyone ever taken a good look at the rain? oh, to sit in a room and stare as the raindrops slide down your window. Sometimes, I imagine that the raindrops are in a sort of race, and I start rooting for one, but then my raindrop starts and is losing. I go onto another one like abt sleazy manager would. I know that's quite silly, but I quite like it, i guess. I'm fine with liking the rain, although lots of kids say it gives the main character syndrome, which makes me want to drop dead. I wish I could go out in the rain and sit quietly and read even if it's just for a split second. Most people would call me cringe as if just letting me enjoy what I like is so hard. They'll say it's pick-me behaviour when people want to dance in the rain wich I don't get why, I think Dancing in the Rain looks quite therapeutic- of course with a raincoat and a sweater on. people should try it rather than judging others for wanting to do it. Rain is lovely, and I will stand by that opinion until the day that I finally die. The villain would, too.[Not my art]

Nothing in the world belongs to me

Not happiness

Not misery

Not numbess

Not love

Not the tide and sea

All I have is the emptiness that inhabits thee

I cant stand to be myself

Drowning ship in the vast darkness of thoughts

Rain splashing down gently on the habour and all

The tide shortens but my heart keeps beating

The fish swim away and the jellyfish glow curiously

The ship slowly gets dragged in

Wilting and shedding sorrow like centaurea cyanus

Will this black pit in the sky ever cases?

Will these penumbra shackles ever release?

Will the ship ever sail again through the sea?

Will someone rescue and restore its sinking reality

The moon, the stars, and the children of the sea all watch with pityfull eyes

For The ship they can no longer see

Forever Lost in the night

In the stary sky

In the rains eye

All on alone

Floating away from thee

Trapped to try and reach the top of a sapphire sea

The ships' livelihood now a mere memory

Every so often, I get slightly tiered if asking people if they are okay, I want to help people I do, but at some point, it becomes sort of draining if the other person never bothered to ask back. Sometimes, being caring can be rather lonely because when the people you know constantly give something wrong but never ask about you, then it can get rather isolated. Although I'm slightly contradicting myself as I can't accept help because I don't want to bother people with my problems, at the same time I at least want to be asked yk?[Not my art]

I hate the idea that I've hurt somone, I can't stand thinking that I'm the reason somome has cried or felt alone and miserable, I dont ever seem to have reason for my actions I just don't think. I dont seem to ever think. I dont want people to worry about me or spend time thinking about me or even spend time on me in general and I feel as if im always doing somthing to hurt a person even by accident and that's somthing ill never be able to take back. "I'm not a mean dog.. I dont know why I bite.."[Not my art]

I often wish I wasn't inside my own body, not from hatred of my body or anything but hatred of myself as a whole, I hate having my thoughts and having my feelings I hate everything about my surroundings and reality. I often wish we weren't the main character In our own lives because I hate being the most important person in mine, I hate the sense that all kids where there thie feeling that the world resolves around them because I know it doesn't but its just somthing I can't shake. I dont like being in my body, my face, my mind, my home, my reality, my Universe, galaxy, I don't like being....in my shoes. I wish I was a narrator watching over everyone and everything I hate the feeling of being in my own thoughts and mind it makes me for so horribly self centered "This is my fault" "is he mad at me?' "I shouldn't have done that." Simple things, simple thoughts make me feel so caught up in my own world and reality. Why must I be forced to inhabit a person whom I don't want? I wish I could be anything else, anything other than here, anything other than me as a whole. I'm not completely sure what I'm asking to be honest, I dont know if I want to narrate over people's lives be able to switch from different people or just be god themselves but I do know I don't want to be..me I'd rather just be no one.

NOT MY ART

Hello all I hope your having a lovley evening day or night, im just posting these pictures here because I need help on a character. I was just wondering what one may describe the clothing the characters are wearing as or what aesthetic it may be. Ive tried clown and jester but it hasnt really helped so im seeking help here, any help would be very appreciated<33 if I had to choose the one most accurate to what im imagining I'd say 4 and 3.

Wet socks are so uncomfortable😭

I want to experience a million realities in one. I often wonder what my life would be like if i had made different actions if i had made different choices, different desires, and goals. I feel quite tethered to my universe sometimes, i mean.... I've just made these choices, and that's it, i can never go back, never un do never see what might have been? It feels funny that everything you do once you do it is just set in stone. My name is [......] but i dont quite like my name, so you can call me Ell,Victoria,Tori, or Jane. I've claimed lots of names as you can see, none of them being mine. But back to what i was saying, why must everything be how it is? Why must everything just....be? As much as my will to do anything has died, i still bere fading interests. I want there to be a reality where im a teacher, a poet, an author, a jazz artist, a painter, an illustrator why must I be a tired girl who cant acheive anything or do anything at all. If it's not become apparant, i have many dying interests. I think the only one im still passionate about is writing....and reading.. that's about it. Not even just passions and hobbies why cant there be a reality where i have longer hair, smaller eyes, a nicer body, more feminine features? Why are we tethered to one body one mind one reality? It seems like a rather silly question if you believe in past lives, but even those dont fufill what I mean. Even if i was all these things in another universe, im destined not to remember them. It doesn't matter much i guess. I dont feel in tune with any of those things anyway. I dont quite know what i want from the world because if i were to rembember all these other lifes I'd probably go crazy in worry about the next one but then again im already borderlining on crazy so whats one more reality with it?[Not my art]

I find it sad..that there are so many people so many lifes and realities I'll never get to experince, so many people I won't be able to be freinds with, so many people who i want to be but am defiant off, I look around and see an ocean of stories and hobbies and names and peraonalities but just like the real one the whole ocean is unatainable, maybe its my fault for not being content with the people around me on but when I get a new hyper fixations on a person I start to realise all the people around me, the people laughing and talking to their freinds people watching as their freinds play games or paying for someone elses food, all the lives I'll never get to know..all the life I'm missing out on, perhaps I'm just trying to fill my ever lasting hole of lonliness or perhaps I'm trying to fill my heart with somthing ive pushed away, but ill always hate knowing theres a life out there..I'll never know.[Not my art]

I think I'm more inclined to help my freinds and such than they are to help me. Even if it is paranoia that leads it I fel like I always ask if there okay when there off and try my best to help writing them essays and tips on how to help getting them to talk to me and coaching then through it but I can't remember the last time any of them matched that kind of care. I feel shitty for saying it, but after a while, you start to notice these things. I'm not very inclined to ask for help, and the few times I have done, I just apologised every single time, but even simply having someone acknowledge that you're not okay still feels quite nice. Amd whats worse is that im never okay Ive seemed to say this many times and yet no one cares to respond but for once in my life I want somone watching there tone, making sure they seem happy and going out of there way to not upset them and constantly asking if there okay to me. For once, I want to feel like they care for me as much as i care for them. Even just once.[Not my art]