Just Seen A Bathroom Sign That Says "Femmes". Unsure If This Is Woke Or Not.

One of my favorite genres of post

everyone on r/aita is doing polyamory so wrong and i think they could learn something from tommyinnit. I'm not going to say hes doing it any better but he is being really funny about it

The Least Intimidating bakery in the village has closed for good so now I’ve got to go to the Intimidating Bakery, it’s awful. If you don’t have a PhD in being French I don’t recommend going to that bakery, here’s the humiliating account of the 3 times I’ve visited it so far:

the first time I went in there I pointed at one of those extra-skinny baguettes and said “a flute, please” feeling pretty sure of myself, and the baker said “… that’s a ficelle” (you idiot) (was implied) “a flute is twice as large as a baguette.”

That’s insane, first of all, a flute is a skinny instrument. Call your fat baguette a bassoon, lady—I made some timid remark about how it would make more sense for a flute to be a skinny bread and the baker said, “In Paris it is. I thought you were from the South?”

oh, that hurt

I guess I’m from the part of the South that’s so close to Italy the bread’s waist size matters less than whether it’s got olives in it, but I left the bakery having an existential crisis over whether living in Paris had made me forget my roots

the Least Intimidating Bakery just had normal baguettes vs. seedy baguettes vs. horny baguettes (easy mode, some have seeds, some have horns), while the new bakery has breads that are only different on a molecular level—there’s a good old loaf and then another, identical loaf called a bastard? google told me a bastard is “halfway between a baguette and a bread” but denouncing them like “those are not regulation-sized bastards” would get me banned from the bakery for life

on my 2nd visit (while I stood in line discreetly googling baguette terminology) there was an English tourist who asked for a baguette while pointing at what was either a rustique or a sesame and I felt a bit worried for them, but the baker just clarified “this one?” to waive any responsibility if they found out later it wasn’t a classic baguette, then handed them the bread without educating them in a judgmental tone and I felt envious

I know it’s because she thinks the English are beyond saving but still it made me want to come back with a fake moustache and an English accent so I wouldn’t be expected to play bakery on expert mode just because I’m French. I asked for a pastry this time and the baker asked “no bread with that?” which felt cruel, like she wanted me to sprinkle myself with ashes and admit out loud that my level of bread proficiency isn’t as advanced as I once believed it was

The third time I went, I had lost all self-confidence and I hesitantly pointed at a bread and said “I’d like this, uh—what is it called?” and the baker looked at me in disbelief and said “That’s a baguette.”

God.

for the record, if that stupid bread had been flanked by a skinny bread (ficelle) and a fat one (flute) then yeah of course I would have known to call it a baguette, but in the absence of reference points I now felt lost and scared of being called a Parisian again

it’s hard to express the depth of my suffering so I’ll just let the facts speak for themselves: this morning a French person (me) stood in a French bakery in France surrounded by French people and pointed at a baguette and said “what is this called”

Does anyone have the fucking tiktok video of the overly enthusiastic rich bearded guy showing off his new hiking shoes in his Mansion and the Woods, but then another dude duets with it to make it look like he's escaping from being held prisoner please please

edit THANKS @smellslikebot

me: what the fuck is virgin northern european hair? is that like a norwegian person who doesn’t fuck? why does that matter?

me, an entire fucking 20 seconds later when i already had scrolled past: IT’S NOT DYED. IT’S HAIR THAT IS NOT DYED. IT IS HAIR THAT HAS NEVER PREVIOUSLY BEEN DYED. THAT MAKES MORE SENSE.

why did they ever even attempt to try and make another actor wear a white-blonde wig after orlando bloom in the lotr trilogy. don’t they understand that we peaked 20 years ago and everything else has looked like shit after that

reblog if you:

- are aromantic and want to kill

- think aromantic people should be allowed to kill

- think fish are pretty cool

was scrolling through a fight in the comments of a really not controversial at all post (but it was about trans people. so y’know). and the comments were as always being derailed by what-fucking-ever and someone was fighting over something, and one of them pulls out the “oh? well then explain to me why [some form of prejudice i don’t remember] is bad!” and the other person did

AND THEN

PERSON NUMBER ONE WAS JUST LIKE “oh okay, i can see how that’s bad actually, thank you for explaining”

AND PERSON NUMBER TWO WAS LIKE “thank you for open to new information! it can be really scary to confront prejudices, thanks for listening!”

tumblr dot com really is the finest hellsite the internet has to offer i have never seen someone learn from their mistakes on tiktok or be open to listening to others on twitter

💯🙏💛🟨👍