Life Has Gotten So Bad. I Don’t Have Anything In Me Left To Give. I Don’t Know How I’m Supposed

the things I hate most in this world are myself and the fact that I’m still alive.

i wish you didn’t get distant and i didn’t turn mean.

i miss you every damn day.

i’ve literally been lying to everyone and myself for years about how i hate kids, but my therapist told me that the fact that i as a 13 year old child wanting to stop the hypothetical that i have kids and fuck them up like my parents did to me is the most insane sign that i would be a good parent lol

she thinks i’d be a great parent :’) like idk little thirteen year old me is so secretly happy

this whole being 14 thing is so lame. like girl get a grip that was 5 years ago.

oh my god and don’t even get me started on this OTHER girl who was my other soulmate on earth. from halloweens, to fake dating, and ice skating lessons after sleepy breakfasts.

i miss her, i hate that i threw up distance because she was leaving me and i hated her for it. i wish we could have had more time together, i wish distance didn’t force us apart.

how do you cope with being everything you’ve ever feared?

i wish the gods could fix me. i hate being this way.