We Are Slowly Falling Apart 🎃🖤

Chapter 408 - random thoughts

Ah my i almost never go here, but those last chapters are really merciless ! I just want to write random thoughts, especially after reading @5x-ra​ own analysis (thanks for your post @5x-ra​, really interesting) !!

1. I dont understand why people are saying She Li is a coward for running. He’s not just running away -because if he was, he would have disappeared and would not have waited for He Tian to try and ambush him. He’s just not an idiot ; what’s the point for him to stay around and get his face smashed ? The difference in level in fighting is clear, he doesnt stand a chance against HT. HT was born and trained as a fighter ; isnt HT the one who is cheating, choosing a way to resolve the conflict with his fists, knowing he can only win X) ?

She Li’s shtick is manipulating people, getting under their skin, planning in advance. It was never brute force, and we rarely see him fighting -he uses other people for that. It’s not bad per se, it just means he’s intelligent ; too bad he uses it for nefarious purposes lol. If he was a nice character, I’m sure people would find it clever for him to run away from the fight scene, find a weapon, and ambush HT. But yeah because his role is to be the antagonist and because his main goal is just to make other people miserable, it’s hard to be impressed by this, instead most of the readers wants to see his face smashed and for him to rip the consequences of his actions lol.

2. I think in the scene where Mo smashes his face from behind, SL is livid, not necessarily afraid ! But yeah, the interpretation of him being afraid is also strongly supported by the manwha. But I think She Li must be thinking, “how dare you do that to me ? how dare you oppose me, now of all time ?” Especially, because Mo do the same thing to SL that SL did to the old man who tried to kill Mo. It’s an ironic twist of the same situation.I’m not sure about SL feelings towards Mo, maybe he he loves in his own twisted way, in a really “i own him” way -he even said almost this sentence a few times. So, for She Li, Mo attacking him is like your own dog biting you after you hit him. SL think he has a right to mistreat Mo : he owns Mo, it’s his possession, and so if he beats him to teach him his place, it’s just rough love kind of. But for Mo to react back, it’s a betrayal. And that’s why SL doesnt hesitate : he tries to actually kill Mo, like @5x-ra​ said piercing him in the head ??? wtf. Like an owner hitting his dog too many times, killing it in a fit of rage, because his dog dared to bite back, SL honestly think Mo deserves to die for opposing him. man…

3. Honestly, isnt this story a story about how adults fail the children again and again lol ? There’s no adults around, except HC and Qiu who are like “ok do what you want, just no killing”. I know it’s because the manhwa is destined for a young audience (? maybe), and a young audience identify themselves with the protagonists and so doesnt want annoying parents taking care of them. Even tho, like what the hell haha

4. Altho i do love the last few chapters, am I the only one who is getting kind of annoyed by this “damsel in distress” version of Guan Shan ? We fell in love with MGS because he was a nasty, feisty, dirty ball of fluff. It was the contradictions that was enchanting : he try to fight innocent jyan yi WITH HIS GROUP just because, he throws a rock at ZZX head, he insults everyone and refuse to socialise, he’s mean to the girls who just say hello to him. He insults HT non-stop, often times it’s fair (HT was really cynical at the time), sometimes it’s hypocrite : why cry because HT is mean to him when literally he ambushed JY over nothing ? He’s proud and think he’s better than others because he’s not a hypocrite, but then he have nothing to show off either. And then at the same time he’s oddly loyal, righteous, and honest. It was what attracted HT. And the appeal to their relationship was this pull and push. Mo was as strong as HT in this psychological game.

But since a few chapters, Mo stopped pushing so much. And it’s nice ! It means there’s actually a relationship being constructed between HT and Mo. But then it became really unbalanced. Because HT continues to pull, and Mo just do… nothing. He’s blushing and not looking in the eyes. He does this bc HT wants to, he does that because HT says so… ok he makes a (weak) scene, and thats all. He’s like loosing his character ? He’s becoming more and more passive, he’s a character where things are being done to him and not a character who is doing things.

And it makes me afraid ! because the same thing happened to ZZX and JY. Remember : we all liked zhanyi because because it was two strong characters, with different feelings, desires, behaviours, etc. JY was always the most active one in the relationship, but ZZx had a personality : remember the confession scene ? the kidnapping scene ? You could really feel who ZZX was. And then, once he began to reciprocate JY’s feelings, his character… disappeared.

Like honestly i dont mean to offend, but ZZX right now ? He’s a street lamp. A sexy, stylish streetlamp, but a streetlamp. He could disappear from the story, you could replace by a photography for JY to droll over, it would be the same. And it makes me sad ! But that’s the reason i’m totally disengaged from zhanyi now. Zhanyi is : Jyan Yi does something ->ZZX is…. here I guess. Once again, a character where things are done to him. He’s just kind of hanging out, and we know JY care about him because JY says he cares about him, but there’s nothing to show for it. It’s been years I think, where all ZZX is doing is sighing, patting JY shoulders, oh and last chapter he ran in the hospital. Where he still is probably.

And I’m so afraid the same thing is going to happen to Mo :0 !! Like, now he mellows and kind of reciprocate HT’s feelings, so he’s just becoming someone who stand by, cry, and run. The main character is HT, and Mo is here to look at him. He’s loosing his personality !! I dont want him to disappear. I dont want Old Xian to do the active one who initiates all the actions x the passive one who says “ahh” “ooh” when the active one do something. Please OX dont do that T_T

Hoping the trend will change soon… even if Mo doesnt want to fight anymore, or scream anymore, he doesnt have to become boring. It’s a strong fit to socialize with others when all your life you have been shunned, to learn to trust and love again, there’s a way of depicting it where Mo keeps his strong, fierce personality, without it meaning he’s automatically reverting back to fighting and insulting.

PHEW here it is, my two cents.

i was rereading 19 days for the hundredth time and noticed something...

we saw redhead's smile.

the evil one but anyway!

He Tian's Arc

Ok, so this will be a very rambly post, but bare with me.

As we know Ht is a very complex character, being mainly affected by his childhood and the people/situations that hurt him. First and foremost, his family.

Starting with the loss of his mother HT starts having that crippling fear of his of losing people, slowly becoming fiercely loyal to those he loves. Then we get to his father, although we dont have much info on him as of yet, we do know Ht was very aware of how dangerous his father was, to the point of even asking his brother if (if he did something wrong) his father would kill him. With this HT very obviously grew up with a mentality of fighting to survive, and learning to live in the "darkness" of his family.

Then, what I believe has shaped him the most, his Brother.

He cheng has lived with their father and family business for a lot longer, and has learned what HT would come to learn a lot earlier, and (maybe accidentally) taught it to his little brother. HC shows HT that he's "on his own", if he wants something he HAS to fight for it, he can not be weak because that will make him useless (in the sense of not being able to do what he wants to do, like saving people)

Ht then understands that his family is different, they have a "darkness" that he not only hates, but is terrified of.

He hates his father, and he hates what his brother is/has become. He does not want to be part of his family's business, the violence, the killing and the cruelty of their "jobs" repels him. I think he hates it so much because he's scared to have that "darkness" inside himself as well, scared that its inevitably in his blood already. Even literally stating to MGS that he is scared of the dark. So he pushes and does his best to stay away (hating his brother, living alone, not talking to his father) he only ever "uses" his family when it's to take something from them instead of give (like money).

And then, here comes Mo guan shan.

And he's the exact opposite of everything his family (and by extension he himself) is. Mo guan shan does not lie, or scheme, and above all he does not see or fear that darkness inside Ht. We've seen that he and JY were friends before all this, and that at the very least they were close, but Jy did not completely understand Ht, he was a friend but as we've seen with the countless panels of HT standing alone in a landscape, he still felt alone. He felt like that darkness kept him apart from other people, and so when MGS came along he just couldn't help but fall for him.

So Ht becomes extremely protective over little Mo. And thanks to the idea of being the Strongest, the one who protects and is not protected ("weakling") Ht develops a very self sacrificing mentality. It simply does not matter to him if he gets hurt or in danger, because he is strong and he has that darkness in him, all that matters is that those he love are unharmed, safe and happy.

The problem is, Mo guan shan has a "stalker". She li considers him his, and prefers to break MGS than have someone else "take" him. Which means HT ends up putting himself in situations a lot worse than normally (well, at least outside his family business) not only to take the hits in MGS's place, but also to attack those who hurt him.

Still, the people he loves keep getting hurt, not only Mo but also Jian Yi. The other person who Ht is also willing to sacrifice himself to save. It starts to make HT desperate, and it slowly pushes him further down that "dark" path he feared so much.

And that pushes him towards his family, his brother and the violent measures they take. His brother tries to warn him (not that greatly I might add) and at the very least veers him away from the true rock bottom (killing someone).

And he does say he doesn't care about what people think of him, and I do think that's mostly true at this point, but he does care about what MGS thinks. Because Mo doesn't fear him, and he doesn't want that to change.

We've seen several times HT asking for Mo's opinions and thought on him. I think that fear of scaring off MGS specially shows when after holding SL's neck in the stairs Ht asks this.

Still decides to resort to that side of him, to eliminate SL, even if he has to sacrifice his own existence without that darkness and family. He'd do anything for those he loves.

Which makes for a whole new problem. That sacrifice is a little too much, even for him, he's terrified of it, (maybe horrified is a better word for it). He loves his friends too much, and hates those who hurt them just as much. It makes it too easy for him to cross the line, to the point someone has to be there just to stop him, to hold him back. And look at that,

He flinches.

He flinches from what he did, and the person talking.

In the next panel we see his face at it, engulfed in darkness. And I think that one of the things he also fears is knowing MGS saw him, I think here he is scared to see Mo's reaction. So he looks back

And Mo guan shan isn't scared Of him, but For him. MGS still stands By him and Hugs him, and HT doesn't even care about his hand, or anything else he just wants to hug Mo back.

Because yes, He tian has slowly descended on a cruel and violent path that he feared, (and still fears) but Mo guan shan still wants to stay by his side. Even with He tian literally red handed with blood, Mo wants to share his troubles with HT (symbolized by him wearing the jacket Ht gave him when telling him not to shoulder everything on his own) and take on part of Ht's troubles as well.

He wants to accompany and stay by his side. Mo guan shan still doesn't fear He tian. And I think that's all Ht wants.

TLDR:: Tianshan has slowly driven HT to a darker and more violent path, but their relationship shows just how deep their connection is, and how much they've come to rely and develop alongside one another.

zhan zheng xi: it’s a shame how fast our childhood has passed

jian yi: yeah, i mean, when was the last time any of us was just unconditionally happy and, i don’t know, blew bubbles?

he tian: i don’t think i ever did that but i did blow little mo like forty minutes ago in the bathroom. made us both really happy.

mo guan shan, blushing: s-shut up!

Words to describe facial expressions

Absent: preoccupied 

Agonized: as if in pain or tormented

Alluring: attractive, in the sense of arousing desire

Appealing: attractive, in the sense of encouraging goodwill and/or interest

Beatific: blissful

Black: angry or sad, or hostile

Bleak: hopeless

Blinking: surprise, or lack of concern

Blithe: carefree, lighthearted, or heedlessly indifferent

Brooding: anxious and gloomy

Bug eyed: frightened or surprised

Chagrined: humiliated or disappointed

Cheeky: cocky, insolent

Cheerless: sad

Choleric: hot-tempered, irate

Darkly: with depressed or malevolent feelings

Deadpan: expressionless, to conceal emotion or heighten humor

Despondent: depressed or discouraged

Doleful: sad or afflicted

Dour: stern or obstinate

Dreamy: distracted by daydreaming or fantasizing

Ecstatic: delighted or entranced

Faint: cowardly, weak, or barely perceptible

Fixed: concentrated or immobile

Gazing: staring intently

Glancing: staring briefly as if curious but evasive

Glazed: expressionless due to fatigue or confusion

Grim: fatalistic or pessimistic

Grave: serious, expressing emotion due to loss or sadness

Haunted: frightened, worried, or guilty

Hopeless: depressed by a lack of encouragement or optimism

Hostile: aggressively angry, intimidating, or resistant

Hunted: tense as if worried about pursuit

Jeering: insulting or mocking

Languid: lazy or weak

Leering: sexually suggestive

Mild: easygoing

Mischievous: annoyingly or maliciously playful

Pained: affected with discomfort or pain

Peering: with curiosity or suspicion

Peeved: annoyed

Pleading: seeking apology or assistance

Quizzical: questioning or confused

Radiant: bright, happy

Sanguine: bloodthirsty, confident

Sardonic: mocking

Sour: unpleasant

Sullen: resentful

Vacant: blank or stupid looking

Wan: pale, sickly

Wary: cautious or cunning

Wide eyed: frightened or surprised

Withering: devastating

Wrathful: indignant or vengeful

Wry: twisted or crooked to express cleverness or a dark or ironic feeling

he tian: no emotions, life is shitty.

mo guan shan: yo, chicken dick.

he tian: many emotions, life is amazing.

he cheng, in the coldest voice: so you're banging my brother.

mo, uncertain: yeah…

he cheng: thank god. now he's your problem. i'm done here.

If you look at this drawing a little closer, you will notice that all the dogs are on the same leash.

The Dalmatian holds it in his teeth and, as it were, restrains himself and everyone else. In addition, the Dalmatian has a calm and intelligent look in his eyes — very similar to Zhan Zheng Xi.

The little dog (possibly a chihuahua) looks excited and cheerful, and its fur colour is light, so I think it's Jian Yi.

The Doberman (black dog) is Tian, and the Shiba inu (red dog) next to him is Guanshan for obvious reasons. Plus, the Doberman looks at Guanshan, and the Shiba Inu looks at Tian!!! Old, you're a genius.

me: constantly updating ox's weibo page since friday

page: stays the same

me: huh :( mighty oldxian abandoned us

jian yi: you now, xixi, all people make mistakes...

zhan zheng xi: ?

jy: but i forgive you, don't worry.

zzx: for what?

jy: because you haven't asked me out yet?.. it's obvious, xixi. you're so silly sometimes.

zzx, emotionless: ok... are you free this weekend?

jy, totally shocked: ????????