“I THROW A SQUID AT HIM. No, Wait, It’s Cast At Second Level. I THROW TWO SQUIDS AT HIM”

Death Salad

DM: So it turns out that he’s actually a death… sal-ad? No, death slaad.

Ranger PC (to the tune of Fruit Salad by The Wiggles): Death salad, yummy yummy!

band director: alright, now i know that there's literal hail and tornados right now but we're still going outside to work the 3rd piece.

Banana?

Korinn-*places banana on alter*

Xavier- “Where did you get the banana?”

Korinn- “From the chest in the ceiling.”

Ea- “Oh! Right the banana!”

Xavier- “So that’s what was in the chest!”

Tolk- “There was a chest?!”

"First we survive, then we can start looking for our Half-Elf on the Shelf."

Instrument: flat

Me: *pushes in*

Instrument: sharp

Me: what do you want from me

This video made me cry so I wanted to put it here

never let him forget that he said that

“I have a bedroll and a canteen, can I roll to waterboard him?”

- The neutral good cleric, about the plantation owner we just abducted