More Oboro

So Bruce now has several adult children that could very easily take up the cowl (and already have in some cases) but he doesn't seem to be retiring any time soon. So let's say he gets injured in the field, like Bane back-breaking stuff, and he is forced to retire. He wants one of his kids to take up the mantle. Not necessarily pretending to be him, but as the new Batman (like Terry McGinnus in Batman Beyond).

Issue is he doesn't know who the cowl should go to, so he calls a meeting. Everyone is sitting at a long table in the manor when Bruce discusses his sudden, but overdue, retirement.

Bruce: So now we come to the splitting of assets.

He places the cowl on the table in front of him.

Bruce: Figure it out yourself.

He gets up and leaves.

Expecting a fight to break out, he waits to listen at the door in case things get out of hand, lord knows he doesn't want a physical brawl over the cowl. He doesn't expect what happens next.

*silence*

Stephanie: Not it!

Tim: No way!

Dick: Been there, done that.

Damian: No.

Cass: no.

Babs: Already got a job.

Duke: Uh, I think I'm busy that day.

The only person who hasn't said anything is Jason

Dick: Looks like it's you Jay.

Jason: Fuck no, I figured killing people made me exempt already.

Bruce happily sheds a tear, knowing his raised his kids so that none of them want to follow in his footsteps.

After an all nighter where the kids argue over who should take the role

(notable points include:

Tim: I thought you were the 'Blood Son's Dames, it's your 'birthright' and all.

Damian: I plan to donate blood tomorrow.

Jason: Dick, you're the oldest, you take it.

Dick: No! Have you seen how good my ass looks in my current suit? A cape is gonna ruin that silhouette!

Stephanie: Why don't you want it Tim, you're already CEO of WE, why not become full Bruce?

Tim: *shudders* Ra's already is obsessed with me, if I become Batman, he won't leave me the fuck alone.

Eventually they call Bruce back in, having come to a decision. Bruce walks in, not sure who has taken it, but his bets are on either Cass, Dick or Damian. He looks up at the table to see:

Sitting at the head of the table, with the cowl over their face...

Bruce: Um... Alfred?

Dick: Yeah! He has the most experience out of all of us!

Duke: This also means we can keep doing our own things as well.

Jason can't stop laughing at Bruce's face.

Bruce: You're really playing along with this Alfred?

Alfred: I am the night Master Bruce.

Bruce: Real fun-

Alfred: I think you'll find that I am vengeance sir.

Bruce: Okay, I ge-

Alfred: I, young Master, Am Batman.

Bruce phones Kate who laughs in his face.

Yeah, a lot of women are also perverts. It is known.

"I'm no better than a man" yeah, you're not better, but that's fine. As long as you're not sexually harassing people or anything you're not doing anything wrong and neither is that guy.

"You don't get it listening to anime music is a red flag when a boy does it and I was not a woman yet-" I think you can listen to anything you want regardless. How do you even come up with this kind of gender binary?

Just stop doing gender norms. Stop artificially limiting your freedom and inventing reasons to shame yourself over harmless behaviors or feelings. This is not a christian Minecraft server.

I’m getting back into Dabi/Hawks fanfics rn and I can’t believe I ever moved on from this ship like? They’re both so funny and the angst kills me.

They’re written as such isolated characters a lot of the time that it’s really cute they can be each others support but it’s also horrible bc it would be a shit show if people found out so, angst but also hurt/comfort. For this reason I always try to find ones with a happy ending cuz I’m not tryna be hurt rn.

sometimes you need dialogue tags and don't want to use the same four

Breakfast at Wayne manor

(Please look at the details, I suffered for those micro letters)

“Hey kid! Think you might need a little help?”

Guys I'm actually so normal and chill-

*Finds stuff in the books that I can interpret as Severitus*

MY SHAYLAAAA

They're off to fight and solve crimes like Batman and Robin.

What do you mean this wasn't them for most of Book 2?

Hawks: “I can’t sleep.”

Dabi: “Why?”

Hawks: “Just a lot on my mind.”

Dabi: “…”

Dabi, throwing a blanket over Hawks’ head.

Hawks: “What are you doing?”

Dabi: “I don’t know. Don’t bird owners cover their cages so they’ll sleep?”

Hawks: “… And you just assume that’s going to work on me? You know not everything about me is bird related?”

Dabi: “Keep whining like that and you’ll never fall asleep. You know, I can think of other ways to tire you out—”

Hawks: “…”

Dabi: “… Hawks?”

Hawks, snoring.

Dabi Headcanon #2

So like. Dabi’s nerves are dead, right? Those burns were too.. Everything, to have his nerves be saved. And even if he were still able to feel temperature and even textures, I still think because of his pain tolerance to heat, he can pick things up normal people can’t.

He is absolutely going to pick up the tray barehanded from the 425° Fahrenheit oven, because he can’t feel how hot the tray is, it doesn’t hurt.

He’s going to flip over the pancakes with his fingers, because he has Mom Fingers Deluxe Edition.

He’s going to hold onto those ice cubes until they melt, because he can’t really feel that they’re cold anymore, he has no nerves to do so.

Does this freak the LOV out? Yes, especially Kurogiri, that’s why Dabi’s banned from the kitchen. Have they gotten used to it? Kinda, but still why are you touching that pan it just came out from the oven.

Is this a useful skill? Yes, yes it is. Is it dangerous? Yes, it probably is.

Does Dabi care? No, no he doesn’t. (Until he gets frostbite on accident because he underdressed for the snow.)