Me When Masturbating Doesnt Fix Me

i hate snapchat memories lol. just saw some pics from 5 years ago of me and my friends on call when we started online school during the pandemic and it fucking stung way more than i anticipated. these people don't talk to me anymore. they've all moved on with their lives and im still drowning in the past by myself, wishing they'd come back to get me. they have partners and new friends in our old city, and i got forcefully pulled away to a whole new province without my permission. i get to start all over again with friendships and family i don't want in my life.

i miss my friends.

i will never be able to love someone without hating them.

sorry i can’t come i’m too busy hurting my own feelings over nothing

I don't know a single disabled person who hasn't been traumatized in at least one way by the medical system. Moreover, how are we supposed to heal from our medical trauma when it is continuously reinforced? I act differently in medical spaces because of my medical PTSD to the point I used to have selective mutism in those spaces (it's much better now). But I was treated horribly because of the selective mutism and trauma responses, making my PTSD worse. How can doctors be okay with re-traumatizing someone who already has severe medical PTSD? How can doctors be okay with not being educated on medical PTSD or gaslighting? How can they be okay with ultimately making our lives, care, and trauma worse??? The lack of understanding around medical trauma is unacceptable, especially because of how incredibly prevalent it is.

"Can mutuals DM you?" moots can kick me, punch me in the throat, spit on my face, saw me in half, kiss me, obsess over me, stalk me idgaf

unfortunately i DID take what you said to heart and now i’m sobbing and debating on whether i should kill you or kill myself

Asking someone you barely know what their disability is equatable to just coming up to someone and saying “hey what’s the most traumatic thing that’s ever happened to you?”

Able-bodied people assume most people with mobility aids ESPECIALLY wheelchairs, have been in some sort of traumatic accident, and yet y’all still come up to us asking.

chat should i actually block every single one of my friends from my hometown and completely isolate myself in another province