Hello!!!!

I love being a little freak.

I love using neopronouns and xenogenders.

I love being slightly greasy at all times and smelling vaguely of MSG.

I love having a bunch of peircings.

I love being an alterhuman.

I love using complex labels that most people don't like.

I love accommodating myself regardless of what people say.

I love being able to sniff out autism like a bomb dog.

I love knowing a little bit about everything but fully understanding maybe one thing.

I love looking like I am Not a Human Person.

I love that my speech is delayed from the movement of my lips.

I love being a creature.

I love being a thing.

I often forget that being autistic still isn't fully accepted or even considered normal in 90% of the world. For example, I was having a conversation in the car and my mom saw a man standing on the side of the road staring at a bush. She pointed it out as if the man was insane or intoxicated and laughed, but I didn't understand why. He didn't seem to be hurting anyone, he was just looking at a bush. Maybe it was interesting or there was a bug on it. Maybe he has a special interest in botany or landscaping. I tried to think of it as a neurotypical might and I think it was the fact he was just standing, staring at a bush on the sidewalk that made her think that and that forced me to realize how many people think the same things about me. Why do neurotypicals find neurodivergent folks so funny? What is it that amuses them about someone who is simply not what they are used to? Why do they need to be so thoughtlessly mean?

I don't think the term "gold star lesbian" (nor "gold star gay" but I'm a lesbian themed blog) can ever really be used in good faith. Just because it can't be said without inherent implications that the Gold Star lesbian is a better lesbian than a lesbian who has been with men. Multisexual and multiromantic lesbians are not less lesbian than you. Abro lesbians are not less lesbian than you. Exclusivity doesn't earn you a little gold star. Not to mention you're ignoring the fact that some men are women and some men are nonbinary, and lesbianism isn't defined specifically by the exclusion of men. You can have only ever been with women and still have been with a man. If that confuses you, unlearn monocentrism.

Mspec lesbians (who do like men) aside, you can't call yourself a gold star lesbian without implicitly saying that the lesbians who tried so hard to "fix" themselves by getting in relationships with men and have managed to accept themselves now are lesser lesbians. Without subtly saying that the lesbians who didn't know they were exclusively lesbian and found out through trying to be with men aren't as good at being a lesbian as you are. Or that the lesbians who were pressured into relationships with men that they may not have wanted have failed at lesbianism. Nor can you say it without sending the message that a caedlesbian (lesbian because of trauma, especially trauma around me ) isn't as much of a lesbian as you, because you're naturally a lesbian.

Being a lesbian isn't a test you took in elementary school where you get a gold star sticker if you get full marks. You can't get full marks in being a lesbian, because every lesbian has their own experience and every journey is valid.

If you want to have a label for lesbians who haven't ever been with men, there should be a lesbian label for those who have, and neithe should have connotations that imply that one is better or more lesbian than the other is.

I think this is important for me to say, especially as someone who is far below the poverty line and disabled myself.

Now is the time to get fat, especially for people who are going to be put at risk by tariffs and restrictions on food stamps.

Now is the time to learn how to forage and how to use herbs to prevent and treat simple ailments.

Now is the time to learn first aid, how to stitch wounds, how to prevent a bullet wound from killing someone.

Now is the time to make plans to help disabled folks who can't run or defend themselves.

Now is the time to build muscle if you are physically able.

Now is the time to learn how to mend or create clothing.

Now is the time to try and transfer to physical media, and to transfer important information into something physical.

Now is the time to learn media literacy and how to decipher fake news.

Now is the time to understand that being a doomer will help no one, especially not yourself.

Things are going to shit. Prepare yourself as well as you are able. Don't spend your time worrying about impending doom, that won't help you. But what will help you is being prepared for things to go wrong. Start being more loving to the people who deserve it. Start taking care of yourself so that if at some point you can't, you'll have more time to change that fact. Start being hopeful. Start being angry if you aren't already. Start forgiving yourself, because you are your biggest ally. Start learning. About yourself. About how to support yourself. About the world. I love you, and we will all get through this via the aid of ourselves and others.

how many rats can you put in your butt

Several dozen, surely