"Can The Person Whos Throwing Stuff Please Just Get A Life?"

"A bunch of babies and dinosaurs? That's a good band name."

"Tell me what pen you use, WITCH!"

"Can you overdose on starch?"

“He’s such an overprotective mother hen sometimes.”

-My friend, while literally talking about Satan

"Like, which part of this clusterfuck specifically?"

“From the moment this universe began it was destined to end in a duck apocalypse.”

"Daffodils; they're hiding something..."

Spending time with my family... I am definitely going to hear some stupid things

“Stop breaking this pencil! Do you know how expensive this was?!”

-Somebody with a cheap pencil they probably found on the floor

How did he die?

Death.