Thesemidnightthoughtss - Midnight Thoughts

I’m so sensitive and I feel things on such an intense level. I can’t do moderation. Pain and happiness is something we all experience, it’s a part of life . But there is so much more pain than the happiness. And that little happiness is no where near enough to mitigate the pain. And thinking that I have to fight this battle everyday for the rest of me life is exhausting. I can’t do it. I feel tired down to my bones. Talking myself out of killing myself everyday. Scared of triggers. Struggling to do basic things. Feeling hideous and unworthy of love. So much self hate. How can anyone do this for their entire life.

I crave intimacy... but I don’t want temporary people touching my mind, body, or soul.

Benjamin Fondane

On most days it just hits me why am I even trying to put any effort at doing anything when all it leads to failure in a life I don’t even fucking want.

i am completely fine in an “i have been mentally unwell for years” kinda way