I Don’t Know Why I Feel Sad, But I’m Tired Of Feeling This Way

“Don’t be a fool. Don’t give up something important to hold onto someone who can’t even say they love you.”

— Sarah Dessen, Someone Like You

I can’t imagine a future. It feels as if I’m not meant to be here

i’m the problem. i’m draining to be around. i turn everything good into something toxic. i can’t stop myself from ruining everything, no matter how hard i try. i’m the only one to blame. i’m poison to everyone around me, i destroy everything i touch

i’ve been suicidal for so long that i’ve just been assuming i wouldn’t live even as long as i have so i never thought about anything long term and now i have no idea what i’m going to do and i’m more afraid to live than i ever was to die

“I don’t want to be in love with you anymore. Every second I love you, is every second bereft of peace. Every second loving you is every second me struggling to breathe. I desperately need to fall out of love with you.”

— unrequited love

The heart wants what the heart wants and there’s nothing one can do about it, except for suffering.

I wish I didn’t want you anymore.

Lately it’s getting really hard to think about how much others will hurt if I kill myself. I don’t wanna hurt anymore. I’m tired of living because I don’t want to cause pain to others. Who is thinking about how much living is destroying me.

me: *exists* me: this is too much