I Can’t Imagine A Future. It Feels As If I’m Not Meant To Be Here

I’m tired of feeling like I committed some sort of crime by falling for you. I’m tired of justifying my feelings. It just happened. And trust me, there’s nothing I want more than to not be in this situation because I know you’ll never feel the same way. I know how unwelcome I am your life. I’m aware that you don’t want me. But maybe I don’t owe an explanation to you or to myself. I feel the way I feel, I love you. I just fucking do.

The heart wants what the heart wants and there’s nothing one can do about it, except for suffering.

I wish I didn’t want you anymore.

I fought so hard in the past years for recovery and at some point I thought that I was getting better but now I hate my life even more than before and I don't know what to do anymore..

I hate myself so fucking much.

Everything and everyone would be so much better off if I wasn't here at all.

I will never have purpose, I will never deserve to live.

I shouldn’t still be here.

I don’t want to be.

I don’t want to be here anymore.

I don't wanna do this anymore

Just please...

Let me die

Let me end all this pain

i’ve been suicidal for so long that i’ve just been assuming i wouldn’t live even as long as i have so i never thought about anything long term and now i have no idea what i’m going to do and i’m more afraid to live than i ever was to die

Perhaps the fact that I chased a boy who ripped me to shreds says a lot more about me than it did about him.

Michelle K. — Lessons Learned