Sins Of The Father

You know how it recently came out that there isn’t 8 billion people on earth and it’s actually a few billion more than that because scientists miscounted? I bet Cap would have known with the wisdom of Solomon

Batman: “and because there are 8 billion people on-“

Solomon (in Cap’s head): “that’s wrong.”

Captain Marvel, interrupting Batman: “that’s wrong, Mr Batman”

Batman: “what? I’m not wrong. Multiple sources say it’s 8 billion”

Captain Marvel: “and those sources are wrong”

Batman: “Captain, you do not have the time nor the proof to prove your theory. I know I am right.”

Solomon (in Cap’s head): “go get your friend Bartholomew to count. He is the fastest.”

Captain Marvel: “hold on, I’ll go get Flash to count everyone!”

Batman: “everyone on earth? Captain we are in the middle of an all out alien invasion. You cannot-“

Captain Marvel, running off to get Flash: “I’ll be right back Mr Batman! :D”

i know this please help me

"a girl is damned if she does, damned if she doesn't" - my professor

if this isn't stephanie brown......................

One day a man goes missing in Gotham. Nobody special, just another unlucky lowlife schmuck who owed money to the wrong people. The kind of guy with nobody in the world to miss him. Bruce and Babs are sharing notes when Cassandra wanders in. When she notices a picture of the guy's face her eyes harden in a way they're very unused to and she insists they put her on the case. She very pointedly asks for his name before pulling down her mask and leaping out the window.

They don't see her again for the next several days. She tears through the city's criminal underbelly with an unmatched ferocity. She's always driven but this concerns even Bruce. If experience has taught them anything though, it's that there's no talking to her when she's like this so they can do nothing but wait and hope.

Eventually she puts enough pressure on that somebody gives her a location. Not an hour later she's untying the man from a chair in a dank cellar in a dive bar on the outskirts of the city. He's not exactly on the right side of law so when he pulls the blindfold from over his eyes and sees a Bat standing right in front of him, especially this bat, he yelps and recoils in fear. Then she hugs him. She hugs him tight and holds on long enough that he forgets his fear and instead starts to feel distinctly awkward. Then just as quickly she vanishes, leaving him alone and too stunned for words.

He doesn't remember, but then, she never expected him to. It was years ago after all. A cold night, even for winter in Gotham when a petty crook decided the girl huddled on a street corner with no home to go back to looked like she needed that hot cup of cocoa more than he did. She remembered though.

You've heard of Earth is space australia now get ready for: Earth is the space Amazon Rainforest. Aliens land on Earth and they are losing their goddamn minds because every square inch of the ground is absolutely PACKED with life like there are hundreds of species just in this one site, there are winged animals flying through the sky and multiple colonies of sophisticated social insects just in the shadow of their ship, this ONE ROCK is covered in MULTIPLE SPECIES OF ORGANISMS that are themselves MULTIPLE ORGANISMS LIVING SYMBIOTICALLY, the tall, woody autotrophs look so different from each other because they're...holy shit that's like 5, 6, 7???? different species on this one site???

they start talking to a human and the human is like "haha yeah that's a crow!" and the alien researcher is like "you called it a 'bird' earlier, is that a different name?" and the human is like "oh a crow is just one species of bird, there's like, 10 others out there"

"On this planet?"

"No, in the back yard right now."

When a kid explains Santa Claus and his whole deal, Cass stays up all night on Christmas Eve cause no way in hell is she letting a strange old man into her home

In all honesty she probably still believes in him, lmfao.

The notes are broken. This is what tumblr is all about apparently.

Crossover DC/Marvel

Billy Batson and Peter Parker switch places

Billy Batson wakes up in Peter Parker’s bed and Peter wakes up in an abandoned building

Both are freaking out and are trying to understand what the fuck is going on so they start to investigate and end up meeting the avengers or in Peter’s case the justice league

After a while and figuring out it will only last a couple of weeks they just help around because well there is still a hero or vigilante missing

Ive seen this be done a few times, but I want more of it so I’m spreading the word.

Petition to introduce the trope of cuddle pollen. Like sex pollen but way more wholesome. Imagine your touch starved fave getting all the cuddles.

absolute bruce giving birth to tiny titans cass

and theres a very good fic based on it!

i drew this before knowing this bruce is a baby faced 24yo, which significantly improves it i think. young dad beam ⚡