Latest Posts by toobytoobs - Page 2

world war 3 was on the line, jason

absolute bruce giving birth to tiny titans cass

and theres a very good fic based on it!

i drew this before knowing this bruce is a baby faced 24yo, which significantly improves it i think. young dad beam ⚡

Before I knew I was bisexual I was just insanely dramatic and weird around guys I liked. I had a crush on this guy in my ward - he was older than me, he played bagpipes and had a cheerful dog and an old Volkswagen bus that he worked on all the time. He also had nice scruff and unnaturally attractive hands and a good sense of humor, so I was like FULLY smitten.

I talked about him a lot and about how he was just so dang COOL, dang it, because he was so frickin’ cool. And I really liked him. I thought he was funny and smart and interesting and cool and fascinating and a bunch of other weird feelings I barely had the attention span to think about (I think my ADHD may have prevented me from coming out for a while tbh).

One day, I’m like 14-15, his dad is called to be my Sunday School teacher. His dad is this ex-military hardass with a chip on his shoulder for absolutely no reason and unattainable standards for his children. He spent most of Sunday School talking shit about his eldest boy and how he was rebellious and didn’t listen to him and how that was going to make him a bad adult and a bad son forever. How his son was too lazy and unmotivated to be successful because he didn’t listen to his advice on how to read the scriptures. He complained about how our generation was too weak to do things right and that our generation would surely be the one that brought the world’s downfall because of our laziness and sin.

And like, first of all, that guy can already go fuck himself for that. To clarify, that’s already stupid. BUT. He was talking about the man I had uncomfortable dreams about at least once a month. I couldn’t stand it. I’d get so mad I’d go home shaking sometimes because how fucking DARE he insult his hardworking stunning son by calling him lazy? For not reading the Bible the way his dad wants? When he’s already spending his time learning bagpipes? And fixing cars? And being cool? And cute? Who the fuck even cares if he uses the footnotes in the Book of Mormon? Who gives a rotten rat’s ass if he doesn’t use the scripture study manual his dad uses? He’s so cool he doesn’t even need it? So fuck off?

And eventually I got fucking Sick Of It and decided to mutiny. And by mutiny, I mean skip class. I’d just not go. And after a bit, adults started noticing and bugging me about it. At first, this was put off by small talk and excuses, but as my absence from Sunday School became more well-known, my excuses began to be rejected.

“Oh, Lizard, why aren’t you in class?” Uhm idk because my Sunday School teacher is mean to his kid and that makes me so mad wtf do you want from me? 🫠🤔

“Where’s your class, I’ll go with you!” Oh no ty I’d rather peel my own eyes than have my taste in men critiqued tyty 🩷

“Lizard, you should go to class, I’m sure they miss you!” And I miss the innocent days where my stomach didn’t hurt when a cool boy I knew was being belittled but unfortunately for us both those days are LONG gone and all that’s left is a budding psychosexual clusterfuck that will render me almost fully incapable of functioning for the better part of a decade so Bye Bye, sister Smith 🙂‍↕️

It had gotten to the point that ward leadership was involved. I was being approached by members of the Young Men’s presidency and the Bishopric to try and make me to back to class. They were telling me God had told them to find me and instruct me on my rebelliousness. This is where I implemented my secret weapon - women. Mormons are weird as hell about a lot of things, but especially about women. And I was GREAT with women. So to combat the leadership’s attention, I started helping women.

Our ward had a lot of new moms with babies who were, as babies tend to be, fussy. But for Mormon women the church is often their only social outlet, so they try to power through as long as they can even if it means enduring the exhausting ordeal of taking care of a fussy baby at church.

For what it’s worth, I have a lot of sway with babies. I got baby street cred. Me and babies have a rapport. I have always known this. I have always loved this. And in this crucial gay time in my faggot life my baby mind powers came in clutch - Every time I saw a member of the bishopric getting close, or a young men’s leader giving me side-eye, I’d start walking slowly towards class, passing by relief society. I’d wait until a mom’s baby had gotten too fussy and needed to leave the room, and I’d swoop in like a knight. “Oh, don’t you worry sister, I’ll bounce him a bit. You go back and hang out with your friends in class. You deserve a break.”

If it was a diaper change or something they’d tell me no. But if it was just some good old-fashioned baby fusses, I mean, they’d be moved almost to tears. They just got their social time back AND a free babysitter who is renowned as the Baby Whisperer. And because I was holding a baby as a favor for someone else, I of course could not reasonably be bothered to return to class.

So just like that, I was out of everyone’s sights. This went on for about a month before the straw that broke the camel’s back, which was that without my class participation the classes were quiet and awkward. I’d often take the brunt of Sunday school lectures by answering questions impulsively and over explaining myself enough that the clock could run out without anyone needing to do or say much. My absence meant everyone else was getting hit with the full unpleasantness of this guy’s bullshit. And so slowly, one-by-one, I had a group of about 8 kids on baby-holding duty. These new moms were so overjoyed, they and their husbands were both so actively in our corner that now chastising us was untenable. Now we had bargaining power. So the Bishopric approached us, confused beyond confused and uncomfortable beyond uncomfortable, and said,

“What’s it gonna take to get you back to class?”

The POWER I possessed in that moment was addictive. By being kind to the women of the ward and ignoring the Mormon de facto Rule of Law of following rules en-masse so the rule breakers feel left out, there were now so many people breaking ranks that we had effectively enacted a church boy labor strike. And they crumbled so fast it was almost like we had swayed God himself to our cause.

“I want brother assholedad gone. He sucks at teaching.”

I didn’t even have to say it. One of my rebels said it for me. I just nodded sagely and said “Yes, his class is not edifying. It’s better to not go and hold babies.”

And just like that, with a snap of my limp-wristed, Christ-wounding, bottom-brained fingers my faggot will was enacted. God’s revelation that brother shitdad was his chosen Sunday school teacher flipped on a dime. Suddenly brother shitdad was asked to be an usher and the fun dad of another one of my crushes was called in to teach us. I still stayed to hold babies a lot, but the rest of the class returned and all was well again.

Although I didn’t recognize it then, I think that was a formative moment for me in a lot of ways. I learned that being really persistently annoying will get me what I want from authority eventually. I learned that God’s will can be swayed by going in strike. I learned that ignoring men’s made up authority forces them to level with you as a person. I learned that caring for women, especially vulnerable women, can make a whole world happier. I learned that letting women rest can help them feel more love for the things that matter in their life. I learned that social bonds make everyone stronger and happier. And I learned that loving others in a gay way can change the world.

Be gayer. Read Terry Pratchett. I love y’all 💕

Despite my blog being named minibatson, I've always been a Freddy Freeman girl at heart.

Part of it is probably because I, too, am disabled. Not in the same way, but still. Disabled.

Part of it is probably because I, too, love my best friends dearly and would do anything for them. Just like he does consistently.

And I think part of it is because he feels so real? He feels so genuine in everything that he does. He goes through horrible tragedy, losing his parents, and then his grand parents and brother, being permanently disabled after an attack, and yet remains hopeful and fun. He maintains an air of jokes and comedy despite all the pain.

We talk a lot about how Billy is hopeful through tragedy, and he is. Being orphaned and homeless is horrible.

But we never talk about Freddy's strength. The amount of power – and compartmentalizing – it must take for a child to cope as well as he does.

To laugh in the face of such horror and pain is a strength we could all do with, given current events.

events rich people go to that aren’t galas because y’all write as if the waynes are going to galas every single week:

-charity event/fundraiser

-banquet

-grand opening of some fancy place/ribbon cutting ceremony

-holiday party

-dinner at the country club

-horse race

-the opera/the theatre/the orchestra

-fuckin yacht clubs or yacht parties or something

-golf tournament (is that what a golf competition is called? a tournament?)

-HUGE wedding

-housewarming party for someone’s new mansion

-art auction

obviously i’m not rich so i don’t do stuff like this and this list is mostly a reference for myself for when i need to write them going to an event and don’t want it to be a gala

Jack: my son is a vigilante?!??! But that’s so dangerou-

Willis: -THAT’S MY FUCKING BOY!!!!

So, there’s this idea that Captain Marvel is the idealized form of Billy Batson, right? Like, the version of himself he aspires to be. The hero he wants to become. The face he wants the world to see-- strong, bright, safe, inspiring.

And, well… Captain Marvel looks a lot like C.C. Batson. His father. That’s Billy’s hero. That’s the face that makes him believe in good. The smile that gives him hope and faith in his dreams. With a few traces of his mom, like her eyelashes, her ears, nose

But… that can change. Right?

Billy’s going to meet new people. He’s going to have new heroes in his life. New people to look up to. New versions of “who I want to be like.”

So one day, Marvel looks like a perfect blend of C.C. and Marilyn. And then, after a particularly emotional moment with John Constantine, he shows up at the Watchtower… with a different jawline.

His bone structure is slightly off. You wouldn’t notice unless you were really paying attention. But Bruce was. Bruce always is. He doesn’t say anything, just quietly writes it down with some suspicion of a possible shapeshifter.

And then, boom-- WHERE THE HELL ARE MARVEL’S DIMPLES?! They’re gone. Just gone. When he smiles, it’s a completely different smile. No dimples. There’s… are those canines? Slightly unhuman teeth and-- wait, Is that SUPERMAN’S smile? A perfect, radiant replica??

The next day, the dimples are back. Because Marvel caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and he missed them. Not consciously. He didn’t even realize it. But they’re back anyway.

It all happens unconsciously. And it changes from time to time.

One day he’s got feline eyes and sharp little teeth, a goofy yet oddly charming (and a little predatory) grin. That’s Tawky Tawny’s influence.

Another day, his eyes aren’t blue anymore, they’re green. Sharp. Focused. But also warm. You feel seen, and still, oddly… safe. (Catwoman likes Cap. She’s been nice to him ever since he introduced her to Tawny.)

Then-- No freaking way he’s BLONDE. (Thanks, Constantine.)

One day, his eyes are still blue, but now they’re icy. Almost crystal. Batman nearly has a heart attack because it’s his father’s eyes. His father’s eyebrows too. (Billy was just really happy with Bruce Waynbe since he donated a massive bunch of money to Fawcett’s homeless shelters.)

And then.. pointy ears. A different nose. (Kon.)

J’onn shares his special cookies with him one afternoon and now Marvel’s got a little green tint in his cheeks instead of red.

He never hides it. If someone asks, he just shrugs and goes, “Oh yeah, my features kinda shift based on people I admire? I guess. I don’t really notice until you guys point it out. I can’t control it.”

A lot of people think his tall, muscular body comes from Superman. But nope. It’s from Diana.

Billy sees her: tall, powerful, graceful, hair always a little wild but somehow perfect. Elegant. Commanding. He thinks she’s incredible. So he becomes tall, powerful, elegant. Hair that never moves out of place (but still has a charmingly messy style). All that’s missing is a little more confidence and posture.

And Flash? Flash nearly dies of happiness when Marvel shows up one day— with his awkward little half-smile.

I'm only saying this for your sake, but objectively, it's not a smart idea to bring politics into normal hobbies. You might lose supporters of your blog just because of your political stance, and that would be terrible since you're so amazing!! It's only a suggestion, but I really reccomend not bringing politics into anything.

"get a load of this guy"

This is peak spoiler design i don’t make the rules

Finally finished this, got a bit lazy with shading but I think it turned out really well!

A mutual changing their profile pic is the online equivalent to your friend getting drastic plastic surgery

Like, babe, what happened to your face why is it so wrong shaped

It's still sinking in that The Owl House was about a girl running away to a fantasy world, all because of the ripple effects of losing her father at an unfairly young age — only to eventually learn that the fantasy world itself was made of the bones, and the flesh, of a loving father who'd protected his child with one of his final actions, before dying and giving life to that fantasy world. And eventually, in his truly final action, even giving life to Luz herself. Luz ran away to the Boiling Isles, all because of a single book that her dad gave her — and unknowingly, she spent every day walking over ground that embodied parental loss. A world that was born from a parent's death, a parent who had to leave their child far too soon — and not just any child, but Luz's own new best friend, in all of this new magical world. And King and Luz were only ever brought together because of their fathers' deaths — before they even realized they had anything in common to grieve. Before they realized a reminder of that grief had been beneath their feet this whole time.

But, at the end of the day... their fathers both gave them parting gifts. Their fathers both gave them the key to come of age in a world full of people who'd care about them — maybe not the only world where they could've been happy, but a world they wouldn't want to imagine missing. Their fathers gave them the chance to meet each other. To understand each other. And, ultimately, to heal and grow up together. Until the ground beneath their feet stops feeling so heavy, like grief — and starts feeling lighter again, like a gift, and a happy memory.

This made me cry and I don’t know how to feel about that…

Anna Haifisch

Plot armor but it’s Bruce Wayne’s wealth.

Bruce is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce does not want to be one of the richest men in world.

He starts by implementing high starting salaries and full health care coverages for all levels at Wayne Enterprises. This in vastly improves retention and worker productivity, and WE profits soar. He increases PTO, grants generous parental and family leave, funds diversity initiatives, boosts salaries again. WE is ranked “#1 worker-friendly corporation”, and productively and profits soar again.

Ok, so clearly investing his workers isn’t the profit-destroying doomed strategy his peers claim it is. Bruce is going to keep doing it obviously (his next initiative is to ensure all part-time and contractors get the same benefits and pay as full time employees), but he is going to have to find a different way to dump his money.

But you know what else is supposed to be prohibitively expensive? Green and ethical initiatives. Yes, Bruce can do that. He creates and fund a 10 year plan to covert all Wayne facilities to renewable energy. He overhauls all factories to employ the best environmentally friendly practices and technologies. He cuts contracts with all suppliers that engage in unethical employment practices and pays for other to upgrade their equipment and facilities to meet WE’s new environmental and safety requirements. He spares no expense.

Yeah, Wayne Enterprises is so successful that they spin off an entire new business arm focused on helping other companies convert to environmentally friendly and safe practices like they did in an efficient, cost effective, successful way.

Admittedly, investing in his own company was probably never going to be the best way to get rid of his wealth. He slashes his own salary to a pittance (god knows he has more money than he could possibly know what to do with already) and keeps investing the profits back into the workers, and WE keeps responding with nearly terrifying success.

So WE is a no-go, and Bruce now has numerous angry billionaires on his back because they’ve been claiming all these measures he’s implementing are too expensive to justify for decades and they’re finding it a little hard to keep the wool over everyone’s eyes when Idiot Softheart Bruice Wayne has money spilling out his ears. BUT Bruce can invest in Gotham. That’ll go well, right?

Gotham’s infrastructure is the OSHA anti-Christ and even what little is up to code is constantly getting destroyed by Rogue attacks. Surely THAT will be a money sink.

Except the only non-corrupt employer in Gotham city is….Wayne Enterprises. Or contractors or companies or businesses that somehow, in some way or other, feed back to WE. Paying wholesale for improvement to Gotham’s infrastructure somehow increases WE’s profits.

Bruce funds a full system overhaul of Gotham hospital (it’s not his fault the best administrative system software is WE—he looked), he sets up foundations and trusts for shelters, free clinics, schools, meal plans, day care, literally anything he can think of.

Gotham continues to be a shithole. Bruce Wayne continues to be richer than god against his Batman-ingrained will.

Oh, and Bruice Wayne is no longer viewed as solely a spoiled idiot nepo baby. The public responds by investing in WE and anything else he owns, and stop doing this, please.

Bruce sets up a foundation to pay the college tuition of every Gotham citizen who applies. It’s so successful that within 10 years, donations from previous recipients more than cover incoming need, and Bruce can’t even donate to his own charity.

But by this time, Bruce has children. If he can’t get rid of his wealth, he can at least distribute it, right?

Except Dick Grayson absolutely refuses to receive any of his money, won’t touch his trust fund, and in fact has never been so successful and creative with his hacking skills as he is in dumping the money BACK on Bruce. Jason died and won’t legally resurrect to take his trust fund. Tim has his own inherited wealth, refuses to inherit more, and in fact happily joins forces with Dick to hack accounts and return whatever money he tries to give them. Cass has no concept of monetary wealth and gives him panicked, overwhelmed eyes whenever he so much as implies offering more than $100 at once. Damian is showing worrying signs of following in his precious Richard’s footsteps, and Babs barely allows him to fund tech for the Clocktower. At least Steph lets him pay for her tuition and uses his credit card to buy unholy amounts of Batburger. But that is hardly a drop in the ocean of Bruce’s wealth. And she won’t even accept a trust fund of only one million.

Jason wins for best-worst child though because he currently runs a very lucrative crime empire. And although he pours the vast, vast majority of his profits back into Crime Alley, whenever he gets a little too rich for his tastes, he dumps the money on Bruce. At this point, Bruce almost wishes he was being used for money laundering because then he’s at least not have the money.

So children—generous, kindhearted, stubborn till the day they die the little shits, children—are also out.

Bruce was funding the Justice League. But then finances were leaked, and the public had an outcry over one man holding so much sway over the world’s superheroes (nevermind Bruce is one of those superheroes—but the public can’t know that). So Bruce had to do some fancy PR trickery, concede to a policy of not receiving a majority of funds from one individual, and significantly decrease his contributions because no one could match his donations.

At his wits end, Bruce hires a team of accounts to search through every crinkle and crevice of tax law to find what loopholes or shortcuts can be avoided in order to pay his damn taxes to the MAX.

The results are horrifying. According to the strictest definition of the law, the government owes him money.

Bruce burns the report, buries any evidence as deeply as he can, and organizes a foundation to lobby for FAR higher taxation of the upper class.

All this, and Wayne Enterprises is happily chugging along, churning profit, expanding into new markets, growing in the stock market, and trying to force the credit and proportionate compensation on their increasingly horrified CEO.

Bruce Wayne is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce Wayne will never not be one of the richest men in the world.

But by GOD is he trying.

I’ve been thinking about the “turned into children” trope that we batfam enjoyers love, and one that I really like is the justice league turning into children. Bruce from before his parents died (see: a little piece of shit), Diana from before she learned about the outside world (see: really confused bc men??), Oliver at 15 (see: also little shit but for entirely different reasons) and so on and so forth… BUT then we have captain marvel who’s already technically a child, so I present you the idea:

Billy doesn’t turn into a child, and stays in his adult form. He has to take care of the league, because the world can’t know that they’re children (duh), but he’s having a really hard time seeing as he’s also a child. No one questions why he’s not a child, because you know, they’re not league yet. But once they’ve transformed back (they keep their memories), they start running tests (both magical and scientific) on him to find out why he it didn’t effect him, but find NOTHING. In the end they deem that maybe captain marvel is just immune to reverse aging spells.

And this is where I present to you yet ANOTHER idea:

One day one of them (whoever you like) sees billy transform and assumes he was hit with a reverse aging spell. Cue Billy having to dodge actually explaining how he’s a real child and why the reverse aging spell didn’t work on him

Trust me as someone who does occasionally visit the shittier places on the internet, none of you have ANY idea how bad the nazi problem has gotten online. Most people would think 'well duh you visit the chud websites you're gonna get chuds' but no, you do not understand, you are incapable of understanding unless you've been there to see the transformation happen these last few years. I need people to understand, the edgy 12 year old anti-feminist shitlord of yesteryear is gone. They do not exist anymore. Those spaces are now nazi spaces. The nazi saturation rate is 100%. Videogame boards that used to be about gooning over Dead or Alive titty ninjas are now just openly talking about the politics of miscegenation. It's bad, it's REALLY bad and you should be worried.

Thinking about Cassandra Cain and what the name Cain means in a biblical context.

In the Torah (I'm Jewish, so the Jewish interpretations of the text are what I'm familiar with - if any Muslims or Christians out there have different perspectives, I'd love to hear them!) Cain was a farmer, working the land to raise crops, while his brother Abel was a shepherd, raising sheep for wool and meat. They both offer sacrifices to G-d, but while Abel offers the best portion of the meat from his flock, Cain offers the worst of his crops. G-d accepts Abel's offering, but rejects Cain's. In a jealous rage, Cain kills his brother, committing the first murder and being exiled for his crime. He is destined to walk the Earth, visibly marked as an outcast, poisoning the soil he once worked in and bringing ruin to the world around him.

For Cassandra to carry this name is very interesting. It lines up perfectly with how she sees herself, especially in her earlier stories - desperately trying to please a father who she loves and fears in equal measure, until she finally does the unforgivable to earn his love. Forever tainted by a murder she committed when she was young, unable to escape it, destined to forever be an outcast from the people around her. She believes that she is a bringer of destruction, doomed to bring ruin to every life she touches; that she carries a mark upon her forehead that everyone can see, branding her forever as a murderer. She has sinned, and she can never escape that.

The blood of her victim cries out from the ground, and the mark of Cain is forever branded upon her forehead. She can never escape the curse of being eternally an outsider. She can never be clean of the blood on her hands. She can never be forgiven for what she has done.

what caine sees when he looks at gangle

Reblog for greater sample size.

Police officer A: “Hey, isn’t that kid over there registered in the system as missing?”

Police officer B: “Yeah, but we don’t try and catch him anymore because last time we tried to, he managed to bite a chunk out of another officer’s arm”

Police officer A: “What about that girl behind him? Isn’t she presumed dead? We should at least ask some questions”

Police officer C: “Last time we did that, she pulled a grenade out of nowhere”

Police officer A: “Jesus, well what about the boy with the crutch? Seems like he’s also gone missing from a foster home”

Police officer B: “Oh you don’t even want to know what happened when we tried to catch him”

Police officer C: “I’m not sure if it was even humanly possible”

For so much of their early relationship whenever Barbara is insensitive to her Cass generally responds by playing it off as if it doesn't bother her to spare Barbara's feelings. She knows Babs only means well and she's a big girl, she's willing to just let it roll right off her and try to see the best in it.

It really is this one outburst that changed things between them. It was the watershed moment that, for Cass at least, made it very clear how Barbara really felt about her.

I think this is the moment that made Cass realize it wasn't just words and it wasn't just misguided. Barbara really does on some level see her as lesser because of the way she is. She can't just shrug off the hurtful things Barbara says about her anymore because now Cass knows that she means them and that makes them cut right down to the bone.

Their relationship can never be the same again after that. Barbara to her credit tries so hard and eventually things get better between them but that damage is already done and now it will always be there.

I am so hurt by them.

See sometimes I worry I make Steph into to much of Cass's special person. Then other times I wonder if I make Cass to much into Steph's special person. Then I remember that these two hallucinate eachother and I give up.

i think at a certain point damian is just making shit up when he talks about his childhood just to cause a reaction like he'll say "i've trained with swords before i even learned how to walk" and it will be true but he'll see your awed reaction and go "....and every week they would declare a free for all and order every league soldier to attempt to kill me. they called it slice the baby saturday" and he would just be lying out of his ass

Sometimes I feel like I live in a timely loop where every two weeks there’s another “pick your favourite/who’s the best Robin” poll.

One day Stephanie is going to win and then you’ll all see.