Latest Posts by trojan-witch - Page 5

Someone's gotta make one of those "What's your wolf name?" things but for alchemist titles. You know the ones, it asks like what letter your name starts with and the month you were born in to spit out the name "Moon Moon" at you.

YESSS. WE NEED THAT. Imagine if that was how Bradley chose their titles. “Oh shit here comes the Moon Moon Alchemist”

me at work: im evil

1 second after i clock out: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

next day at work: evil again

Mine cast: endless jokes in the Greek story unit

A name is a spell you cast on your child when they’re born

Restore the balance

Mods are asleep post forbidden tits

My headcanons on what was going on in karma's brain when they decided who was gonna go to the space station:

"no way i'm letting y'all launch me into the fucking space like-"

( "ssshit i forgot i have i crush on him")

("ok get a hold of yourself karma akabane you're not that weak, he may have a cute smile but- nonono DON'T-")

("god dammit!")

hiiiii i made a picrew !!! i would love it if anyone who makes one reblogged with theirs :D

I couldn't find this book in any free site or app, which in impressive, considering that it's the internet, but I found ​this site saying in which library find any book: https://www.worldcat.org/title/government-in-america-people-politics-and-policy/oclc/982154327?referer=di&ht=edition

i will kiss u on the lips if u can get me a copy of ap edition government in america 15th edition pdf (2011) ed by edwards wattenberg and lineberry i will write u a small drabble literally anything i have checked libgen and any other textbook site and that edition is not there

funniest One Piece jokes, in a random order

anything realted to Sanji’s wanted poster

anything related to God Usopp Sogeking

when Zoro was about to be turned into a wax statue and struck a pose so that at least he’d look cool if he died

when the whole Whole Cake Island-Big Mom fiasco was presented in the press as the masterplan put together by genius strategist Strawhat Luffy, starting with “sending a bomb” from Fishman Island

when Luffy reunited with Ace in Alabasta by interrupting his dick-measuring contest with Smoker and accidentally flinged them through the diner and a few walls

Duval. I know, but it deserves a separate point

anytime Luffy sends Zoro flying

the fact the Rob Lucci, one of the most ruthless and cruel enemies Luffy has ever had to face canonically spent 5 years of his life doing only. Ventriloquism. With his pet pigeon

Ryonosuke

when the top Baroque Works agents have been waiting for Crocodile around the table for hours and All-Sunday walks in and announces him, he just… turns around in his chair. He was there all along, just made them wait in the biggest power move of the century.

Luffy trying to push a zombie back to the grave

Buggy, aka the lucky bastard of the series and the Marineford arc being promoted to Schichibukai

Law suffering through every moment of the alliance with the Strawhats, pulling the worst disguises in the world one after the other

“north is up”

feel free to add more!

Straw Hat Pirates + John Mulaney quotes

I, strangely enough, had a dream about it and was trying to forget thanks for the war flashbacks

Franky is the type of person that would have piercings on his nipples.

And Sabo, we can't forget about Sabo. I swear that if another Marineford bullshit happens with my boy I'm gonna throw hands

I just want to find out what happened to Mihawk and Hancock...

the majority of one piece becomes instantly funnier when you remember how old the characters are

zoro, a 19 year old man letting this random 17 year old be the boss of him and deciding he would die for that kid after knowing him for like two days

robin, a 28 year old woman asking to join a group of 15-19 year old kids’ little pirate club and is basically their mom now

luffy is literally the 2nd youngest crew member next to chopper and everyone has to listen to him because hes the captain

Whole Cake recap in case you missed it. 🎶 😭 [x]

So the gods are notoriously bad parents, but have we considered what it would be like if they acted like normal parents?

Zeus: AS LONG AS YOU LIVE UNDER MY ROOF YOU FOLLOW MY RULES

Thalia: under your-? YOU MEAN THE SKY?!?!

Or

Athena: I believe it's probably about time we have... the talk

Annabeth: bold words from a virgin goddess

Or

Hades: when I was your age my parents never gave me handouts. I had to work for what I wanted

Nico: your dad literally ate you, I -

Or

Poseidon: if your friends jumped off a cliff would you?

Percy: so... this has happened and I'm gonna let you know now that it will happen again

Or

Will: just gonna say that Aunt Artemis doesn't force her huntresses to go to music lessons...

Apollo: If Aunt Artemis is so great then go live with her!

Will: if I was a girl I would

Or

Aphrodite: Because I said so

Piper: jokes on you, I have charmspeak too

Or

Pluto: Another dog? We have a dog! One could argue that we even have three. Besides, who is gonna end up taking care of this dog? Me. You and Nico aren't responsible. Besides, dogs are expensive. You know, money doesn't grow on trees-

Hazel: because...i can get it from the ground??

AAAAAAAAHH I can't believe that I found this legend of a post

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

I submit to you that the most iconic feature of any animal is either unlikely or impossible to fossilize.

If all we had of wolves were their bones we would never guess that they howl.

If all we had of elephants were fossils with no living related species, we might infer some kind of proboscis but we'd never come up with those ears.

If all we had of chickens were bones, we wouldn't know about their combs and wattles, or that roosters crow.

We wouldn't know that lions have manes, or that zebras have stripes, or that peacocks have trains, that howler monkeys yell, that cats purr, that deer shed the velvet from their antlers, that caterpillars become butterflies, that spiders make webs, that chickadees say their name, that Canada geese are assholes, that orangutans are ginger, that dolphins echolocate, or that squid even existed.

My point here is that we don't know anything about dinosaurs. If we saw one we would not recognize it. As my evidence I submit the above, along with the fact that it took us two centuries to realize they'd been all around us the whole time.

Hey, it’s Hershey. We already got our first exciting fan letter! Let’s see what it says

It’s from Forrest. Hi, Forrest! You suggested that we should delete our account on July 17th, 2021. 

Well Forrest, I have a suggestion for you. On July 17th, 2021, I suggest you start running. 

Queen’s performance everyone

Me reading 1018

ok so top 5 or at least some very very gay one piece fights

luffy vs. katakuri: sometimes you just stab yourself in solidarity after fighting for a whole damn day while you learn to respect the other and sometimes you say he’ll beat your mother right before he leaves a hat on your face. sometimes you’ll be one of the very few opponents he’ll call his name. sometimes you beat each other bloody to cope

garp vs. roger: no particular fight here it’s just the inherent homoeroticism of chesing each other all around the world and comparing all other enemies to the other while wistfully looking into the distance as if it could make the other appear. he’s your mortal enemy then you trust him to save your unborn son this is just how it goes. also he’s the thiccest himbo thats ever graced marine colors

crocodile vs mingo: its the bitter jelous ex energy that just adds to the sexual tension of mingo beheading croco who all but spits on the ground and tells him to fuck himself while mingo pretends to be surpised that prison didnt humble him and says he’s jelous for siding with the other side. this is not heterosexual.

zoro vs. kaku: first of all zoro pops a boner at the sight of every decent swordman, second of all there’s just no heterosexual explanation for any of these panles i’ll let these talk for themselves:

“you’ve draw your sword [prev panel is of a very stragetically palced one]” “it’s moaning for blood” ‘your whole body is a weapon” like Mr. Roronoa sir maybe if you just said you want to suck his dick you wouldn’t have popped a whiole ass Asura in front of everyone. bitch you are gay

1. nami vs. kalifa: the greeting from the bath, nami saying how hot she is multiple times during the whole arc, nami calling sanji a mess for letting kalifa’s beautify do her in then falling for it within the same breath, the cloth ripping. if there is one regret nami has of her time with the strawhats is that she missed the chance of kalifa railing her silly. 

conclusion: zoro and her commiserate over their chance of getting laid in enies lobby in gay drunk silence

Some random compilation of text post memes!! 

Kinda goes well with this lesbian nami text posts

you can find more posts like that if you search meme/s or shitpost in my tags!!!

This, this is important

so can we start hunting down white liberals now or what

@whirlybirdwhat I knew that there was a reason I was so terrified of the fucked up Jungle-God-Island-Bone-Deer in your East Sea of Monsters AU

look. i don’t think my stretch marks are beautiful. i don’t think they’re tiger stripes or natural tattooos. i don’t think my acne is beautiful. i don’t think the bags under my eyes are beautiful. i just think they’re human. and i don’t think i have to be beautiful all of the time in order to be accepted and loved and sucessful. i don’t think every small detail of my outer appearence needs to be translated into prettiness.

What does the arab in your carrd mean? Is it like afab and amab?

.. i’m palestinian

some things you should know before you make a bargain with the fae

they will never love you back. they will not give you the kind of love you want. they are not humans. they do not understand. you will weep blood and bleed tears and they will bare their pointed teeth and give you a smile. you will kill their enemies and your friends and when you stand in front of them with bloodied hands and hollow eyes they will smile with sharp lips and give you a kiss. you will carve your heart out and throw it at their feet and you will have nothing left to give. and you will never see them again. the love you hold for them is the kind that made you go mad. the love they hold for you is insubstantial, inconsequential.

they will never give you what you want. you come to ask for a cure. to see a wish granted. to prove your worth. they will take everything and leave you with nothing. you will give them all you have; what you wanted to sacrifice and what you never thought you could. because when you’re there, you will realize your wish is more important than anything you thought essential. nothing else matters: not your sweetheart, back at home, their heart is so easy to break; not your family, they never loved you like you deserve; not your life, you will get a new one, a better one, in exchange for this one. it’s all a lie, of course. you’ll know that, after; but only when it’s too late, when you’re abandoned, broken, forsaken, with no one to turn to, because you’ve destroyed everything you had. you won’t get your wish, of course.

they will never keep their word. you want to strike a bargain. the rules are clear; you are sure of it. all those stories do not apply to you, you are clever, you won’t be tricked. of course, the bargain you strike isn’t the one you think. their words are like thorns, like vines, like poison, twisting in your mind until they become unrecognizable. what they say is different from what you hear; but it’s their word that holds weight, not yours. they’re the ones who can’t lie, not you. they can lie, of course. they can lie better than you ever will. it’s in their nature; it flows with their blood; it spills with their tears. lies are woven deep in the roots of the forests they live in, they float in the air, poison the food you’ll eat. everything is a lie in Faerie; that is the only truth. they’ll keep their word, of course. but the word they give you isn’t what you think.

some things you should know while making a bargain with the fae

lace your clothes with iron, smear your hair with ash, sprinkle your lips with salt. the iron, the ash, the salt, they will not protect you; but better for them to think you have come prepared, better for them to think you dangerous. there is so little danger in Faerie for the fae, and they love a conundrum. if they think you’re a challenge, they’ll keep you alive longer, at least until they figure out how to break you.

speak as little as you can, because everything you say will be used against you. don’t smile; they will think it a threat. don’t weep; they are disgusted by weakness. never, never, never bleed; once they have your blood, you are lost, lost forever.

don’t listen to the voices. the voices, yes, the whispers that call out from between the trees, from the night sky, from the deep, deep, black ponds. don’t look up, or down, and don’t look back; keep your eyes fixed straight ahead, because the fae you’re striking a bargain with isn’t safe, but they’re safer than anything else.

your best chance is to listen and then run for your life the second they are distracted; because yes, they will be distracted: there are so many things in Faerie more interesting than a measly human like you. but you won’t run, i know. you are here for a reason, and you won’t leave until you get what you want. 

don’t be tricked by Faerie’s beauty. the world the fae live in is pure wonder, and it will seep into your mind and set roots there, poisoning it until you can’t think of anything else. but it is a beauty like a sharp dagger, like the wind on a cliff—it won’t hesitate to pierce your heart, to push you under.

don’t trust anything they say. they can see your deepest wishes, the ones you’re hiding at the bottom of your heart; but never trust them when they say they will offer you company when you’re lonely, because they will throw you into a nest of snakes. never accept when they offer to cure your sick relative, because for them, mortality is a sickness in itself. never let them heal your wounds, because you won’t survive the treatment. if they offer you anything for free, it’s a trap. if they offer you a bargain, it’s a trap.

some things you should know after you’ve made a bargain with the fae

you’re doomed. now you can dance, and smile, and weep, and enjoy yourself; kiss that pixie with the green hair, swim in the cursed waters of the moonlit lake, offer a flower to the elf who’s looking at you with sad eyes. you can jump down from the highest branches and trust that they will catch you; a swift death is a mercy you won’t be granted. you’re their newest plaything, so enjoy it while it lasts. because after they’re finished with you, you won’t really be able to enjoy anything else ever again.

you can’t escape. run, if you’re brave enough, if you’re smart enough to have come to your senses, even if it’s too late. run, if you want, it won’t change anything, but maybe you’ll anger them enough to quicken your demise. a quick, painless death is still out of your reach, but fine, run, if you wish to cut your stay in Faerie short. they’ll get bored of you more easily; a human who isn’t charmed isn’t as entertaining. so run, brave little human, dash between the trees and pretend you can’t feel them coming for you.

you won’t be the exception. sure, there was a human maiden who tricked the faerie once. she was young and clever and beautiful, and she struck a bargain and got out alive, and with what she wanted. only once, a long time ago. but since then, they have grown even more careful, even smarter, even wilier. and anyway, it isn’t like the girl’s youth and cleverness and beauty, and her trickiness and the wish she got, granted her a happy life afterwards; she had angered Faerie, and they tricked her into coming back, and they never let her go. and trust me, you don’t want that.

God all you people ranting about how sabo is the responsible brother don’t know the truth.

(finally decided to post my sabo rant lol)

Look at him. LOOK AT HIM.

 This man ran away from high class society and rejected the government at age five. His dumb ass decided to befriend ace, who at the time was the equivalent of a feral gremlin child who beat up people in bars (rightfully so). He suggested that they kill luffy.

And then, oh then he was like fuck this and ran off and (died) joined the revolutionary.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID THERE. BEAT UP MORE PEOPLE. SAID FUCK YOU TO THE GOVERNMENT. PROBABLY BURNED DOWN A FEW CORRUPT COUNTRIES. CRIED A BIT.

Ace? The one you say is the irresponsible brother? He stayed AT HOME. And raised LUFFY. Learned MANNERS. Became a captain. Which means he raised a child who decided stabbing himself was a good idea and made sure he reached adulthood, tried to better himself to thank someone for saving his brother’s life, learned to be responsible for others, after taking care of Luffy, made his crew survive into the new world and sacrificed himself so his crew would get away. 

AND THEN. He became a white beard! Lead an entire division! We see him asking for permission from Whitebeard to go after teach, or at the very least telling him what he was doing! A good boy! Trusts in his brothers! Cares for them!! Makes sure his brothers crew is okay for him!! Saves his brother!!  

RESPONSIBLE!

NOW BACK TO SABO. 

NOW LOOK AT HIM. 

THIS MAN MAKES HIS CAREER RUINING NOBLES CAREERS. HE REGULARLY IGNORES MEETINGS TO SAY HI TO LUFFY, DOESN’T TELL ANYONE. LOVES HIS BROTHER BUT IS NOT RESPONSIBLE. TOO MUCH GUILT. IF LUFFY ASKED HIM TO TAKE DOWN AN ENTIRE CITY HED BE LIKE FUCK YEA. ACE WOULD TOO BUT HED BE MORE CAREFUL. SABO? NEEDS SUPERVISION. ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT. IS ABSOLUTELY FERAL. WILL BURN DOWN EVERYTHING. ANARCHY IS IS GOAL. 

Ace was also kind enough to let us know when he died sabos just a mystery which means he’s irresponsible as fuck. 

does shit like this and doesn’t follow up. :/

In conclusion; 

ace is the most responsible brother of ASL, learned from older sibling energy and learning to raise luffy and protect his crew as captain. Sabo is a dumbass and absolutely not responsible, based on fucking off on his job which is based on saying fuck you to authority. Will burn down anything without question, regret consequences later. (In aces case, he will think about the consequences first, regret them, burn anything anyway.) Luffy is responsible for 9 people and the downfall of several government institutions. Luffy is not responsible. Sabo is not responsible. Ace is the most responsible. If you must write them (highly encouraged, you all are very talented) please take this into consideration. Thank you. 

PS. This by no means means that any of the asl boys should be trusted with authority. They are in canon, and it is a disaster. the world is crumbling at their feet. I love them. 

I discovered recently that in my country (Brazil) the penality for lock a dog inside a car is worse than the penality for lock a child inside a car. Because if you're condemned for lock your child you can pay your way out, but you can't do it if you lock your dog, and I think that this say a lot about us humans

Someone should draw Bill Cipher wearing these