He Doesn't Know He's Mine. He Really Doesn't Have A Clue. Keeps Talking About How He Keeps Flirting With

It happened. He fell asleep on call with "American friend". How could I have guessed that would happen. I'm going to bed.

He acts like he wants to be around me and then decides he's going to sit on twitter and between shit when he knows I have notifications on. Do you want to be my friend or not.

I'm always the last option, aren't I?

Fractured. I’m about to kms and I’m so close to being serious.

Everything was so fine until right now.

I’m going to drink so hard to forget it and try to ignore it.

Things r so good so far this week.. waiting for the inevitable fracturing. Though, if that can happen AFTER next week once he's visited me (a SUPER recent development. I'm so excited.), I'd be very grateful. World, hear my plea.

i wish things werent so one sided. hes probably not even thinking about me, meanwhile he consumes my every thought

Crazy to me that I don't allow myself to be happy (without actively trying) because I'm not supposed to feel human feelings. It's become natural to act like a dog. Something euphoric about that.

You sound like such a good dog. Sorry your FP takes so long coming home. Hope they treat you well soon.

Thank u :( barking at u affectionately.

I feel so fucking empty and shit. Told him I was anxious and scared and he told me I was OK, I then fucking said I wasn't and told him to go to sleep. Then he went offline. I've spent the last hour crying and shaking and trying to make myself feel something but nothings working. I'm so good at communicating usually. I don't get to the point where I ignore my feelings because I'm able to talk through them before I get to that point. What fucking changed. Why am I getting worse like this. It's not ok it's not ok.

I just realised I gave him the password to my iPad. That has tumblr logged in. On this account. I'll be damned if I let him anywhere NEAR this account. So glad I remembered before he arrived.