AU Where Jason Went To Vahalla Instead Of Elysium And Magnus Didn’t Even Know Until Percy And Annabeth

AU where Percy has to hide the fact he’s a Big Three kid otherwise he’ll be killed on the spot so nobody finds out he’s Poseidon’s kid until his 16th birthday. Instead, he he had to pretend to the child of a different god. At one point, he literally tricks someone into claiming him and whatever god he chooses is just like “I truly do not remember you, but I also have so many kids so… sure” and so you just have this black sheep of a demigod vibing in whatever cabin.

This can kind of be cool though bc, depending on the cabin he’s integrated into, he gains some secondary skills bc he needs to learn how to blend in. If it’s Apollo then maybe he’s forced to learn archery or to prove he’s a Hermes kid he becomes one of the best thieves around or with Ares he has to learn to fight respectably with multiple weapons, etc…

For fun, I want to say Aphrodite bc I think Silena would 100% know Percy isn’t an Aphrodite kid, but helps him anyways and teaches him everything he needs to know to blend into their cabin and she’s the best pretend-sister ever teaching him French and how to do the perfect winged eyeliner. Also, Aphrodite is the daughter of Oceanus and literally made from the sea so it works out well if he accidentally slips up occasionally.

Plus if it’s Aphrodite we can get Percy in earrings and maybe when he’s older getting some cool ass tattoos or something that have magic that makes them move to help him look at Aphrodite-ish as possible.

Later on, the war is rapidly approaching so people KNOW there is a Big Three kid in their midst, but can’t figure out who. Percy is basically being headhunted and desperately trying to hide his water powers or whatever. It’s kind of like a witch hunt, essentially. Eventually all the Aphrodite kids find out it’s Percy and are dedicated to helping him blend in and keep him safe bc they’ve all accidentally decided they love him.

Then the war finally comes and after Percy defeats Kronos or whatever then Poseidon claims him and it’s super badass and whatever godly parent originally claimed him is just sitting there like “….yo wtf I’ve literally been bragging about the fact you’re my kid” and Percy still basically honors them as he second godly parent and his cabin-mates as siblings. I can’t stop thinking about this. Might drop literally everything and write it.

Also, for the Aphrodite take, you got Annabeth, Rachel, and Nico all sitting there like: you aren’t a child of Aphrodite??? Then explain how I’m in love with you??? And Percy is just like “wow I did such a good job pretending that people actually think they like me!”

I have read so many fanfics where Leo has an ass that it might as well be canon.

Nico: Adoption is hard. I just wanna make sure we find the perfect fit for our family

Will: *who's been there for three hours* Please just pick a goddamn plant, Nico

i will admit that there was a time in my life where i thought betty white and the queen of england were the same person

you know when you just find like big wads of hair in your clothes

Leo, skeptically: Can you really glow?

Will: Uh huh. *starts glowing*

Leo, sarcastically: That’s pretty good, but I mean does he come in any other colours?

Nico, smirking: He sure does. Watch.

Nico: *whispers something into Will’s ear*

Will: *turns bright red*

Nico: Ta-da!

Leo: Okay yeah, your boyfriend’s pretty cool.

Me after reading the PJO books for the umpteenth time : so all of the Athena kids are brain childs because Athena is a virgin goddess and she's technically using a loophole to have demigod children. If she's falling in love with the brain of the parent does that mean some of the Athena kids have single moms as parents and not all single dads ??

And what about Aphrodite ?? As a goddess of love and beauty wouldn't she have demigod children with mortal women ??

And if I think about it, the Greeks had no problems with BROmance, there were plenty of myths about Apollo's male loves and even Poseidon had at least one male lover to my knowledge(but only because I watched that OSP video), can't they have demigod children with mortals the same sex as them ??

FUCK

the moment the pjo tv series comes out ppl on tiktok will make luke one of those hot bad guys fuck

there’s a line and sally jackson crossed it when she decided to be a milf

Percy Jackson is canonically set in the 2010s and since Percy's a emo bitch he'll most likely have this haircut