I Love Sskk. I Love How, The More They Learn About Each Other And Begin To Understand Each Other, The

So you know what I just found out that suddenly makes things make more sense?

The legal age of adulthood in Japan was 20 until 2022. Which means that in 2012 or 2016, when the BSD manga and anime came out, respectively, 18 would still have been considered a minor.

Because one thing that always sort of confused me was the fact that Atsushi was 18, and yet they still kicked him out because of the tiger and not because he was the legal age of adulthood. Because he would have technically still been a minor. So the orphanage sucks, basically.

Anyways, that's a fun Today I Learned

What if skk got caught in a bank holdup

A random idea/fanfiction by me.

Inspired by: the shower (truly, it's a magical place)

Because like, imagine, will you, that Dazai goes to the bank on his day off after payday, possibly looking to get some new bandages, and who should he come across but Chuuya, who is there to take out some money from a totally legitimate Port Mafia account. They'd probably bicker for a minute, Dazai would find at least three ways to insult the mafioso, who would then shout back at him, only to have everyone else in the bank shoot them strange looks, so he then resorts to whisper shouting. Until suddenly, the doors burst open, and in rushes five men with guns blazing, their faces obscured by masks. "This is a hold up!" they declare. Three of them usher all the bankgoers to one wall, forcing them to sit down quietly. And of course, if any of them try to call the police, they'd really get it. The other two deal with the clerks, getting them to open the vault, and no one gets hurt.

Meanwhile, Dazai and Chuuya are watching this play out with mild amusement. After one of them sticks a gun in Dazai's face and tells them to move it, they share a shrug and walk to the wall, plopping down criss-cross applesauce. The patrons are shaking. Some of them are crying, some are praying. Dazai folds his arms behind his head and leans back against the wall, suppressing the urge to yawn. Chuuya takes the opportunity to munch on a granola bar and observe the robbery with vague interest.

With his eyes closed, Dazai asks... "so...are you going to stop them, or...?"

"Nah," Chuuya answers between bites. "I haven't eaten much all day, so..." He turns to Dazai. "What about you? Aren't you the detective here?"

"Yeah, but it's my day off now. I don't want to work."

"Yeah, yeah, definitely know the feeling."

"Hey, you two!" shouts one of the thieves watching the hostages. "Be quiet!"

"Sorry." Neither of them sound particularly apologetic. They sit for a few more minutes. Dazai yawns and stretches. Chuuya finishes his granola bar. Nothing changes.

"What's taking them so long?" Chuuya mutters. He's starting to get annoyed. "Some of us have things to do, you know."

"This is actually really pathetic," comments Dazai. "We could have gotten double the money and been halfway back to the base by now, gone before the police even knew there was a threat."

"And we'd never do it like this," agrees the mafioso. "This is too loud, and it's got no class."

"Right? It's like begging for the police to come. And besides, this whole hostage situation is thin as paper. If they really wanted to intimidate people, they should have shot someone by now, prove they're serious."

"Those guns probably aren't even loaded."

"Honestly, this whole set up is awful. Truly amateurish."

"This whole thing would be much smoother if we did it. Maybe we should help them, just so they can get their money and leave the rest of us alone."

"That-"

"Hey!" shouts the same guard again. He points at Dazai, then at Chuuya. "What did I say about talking?! If you don't shut up-"

"No, you're doing it wrong," Dazai informs him.

"I...what?"

"If you really wanted to intimidate us, you should have fired off a warning shot, at the very least. Even if you're too coward to actually shoot a person, at least don't make it so obvious the thing's not even loaded."

Beads of sweat drip down the thief's face. "Huh?"

"And could you tell your friends there to hurry up?" adds Chuuya. "They're going to be caught at this rate. Obviously, the clerks are stalling. They're probably sticking in the lowest bills they have to give the bags some weight. It would be way more efficient to have one guy guarding the clerks and two of you doing it yourself."

"Just figure out the accounts with the most in them and take from there," Dazai suggests, standing up. "You'll get more and faster like that."

Chuuya rises as well. Now, the other two thieves who were supposed to be guarding the hostages come to back up their friend, pointing their guns directly at their heads. Dazai frowns.

"Hold on a second, can I see that? Thanks." He reaches out and grabs the nearest thief's gun, and before he even has a chance to protest, he opens up the magazine and shakes it.

"See? Empty. Would it really have been so hard to even find one bullet to put in there?"

From behind their masks, the burglars begin to panic. The public, now aware they're being held up by nothing, stand up angrily.

"And look!" Chuuya strides over behind the counter, where the clerks are supposed to be filling up bags with money. He takes one out of a male's clerk's hand and dumps it out on the floor. "All 1,000 yen bills. If you had just paid more attention, you could have made off with much more. And, now the police are coming."

Indeed, the sound of wailing sirens gets louder and louder. The thieves glance at each other. With a single nod, they turn on their heels and run.

"Not so fast!" All of the former hostages block the door. The thieves freeze, turning to Dazai fearfully. He shrugs.

"That's what happens when you don't back-up your claims. This is due to your own stupidity."

The public manages to easily restrain the thieves until the police arrive to take them away. As they're being dragged out, Dazai and Chuuya merely watch with their arms folded, shaking their heads and muttering to themselves.

"Disgraceful."

"What a sloppy job."

"Embarrassment to all criminals, really."

"Can't believe I had my time wasted with this crud."

"Hopefully, they'll do better next time."

"Yeah. If you're going to hold up a bank, at least do it well."

After the thieves are taken away, the police ask Dazai and Chuuya about what happened, since everyone says that they're the ones who stopped them. They answer with vague statements that amount to nothing, and leave the bank before they have to get more involved.

Neither of them speak much, each caught up in his own memories from the past. Eventually, Dazai decides to head back to his apartment, though not without giving one good jarb on Chuuya's height. In the end of the day, he supposed he did stop them. Well, as long as it didn't have to count as work-

The next day, both Chuuya and Dazai were required to make a report on the matter.

End.

Was in Barnes and Noble today, and I found a collection of Dazai's works titled "The Real Osamu Dazai." And this was on the back:

Like....why. How. I understand if you just see edits and stuff you'd think he's the main character, but like, watch one episode, read one chapter, and anyone with basic media literacy could tell that he isn't the main character. Even google could tell you that. Why does this keep happening??? My boy Atsushi deserves more than this.

Ok so my brain did a thing-

Concept: on a mission, Chuuya gets turned into a dog (you'll never guess which breed), and dog Chuuya immediately seeks out the Agency, specifically Dazai, so he can touch him and return him to normal. However, Dazai hates dogs and refuses to associate with him. Meanwhile, the Agency practically adopts him, Atsushi the most out of all of them, and eventually Chuuya just gets comfortable there, finally being taken care of instead of the other way around. He still trailed Dazai around the most, but he gave up and just started enjoying it. Until Atsushi finally convinces a very reluctant Dazai to pet him and it's just. Chuuya

he gets no respect ever lmao

smth smth bsd’s recurring theme of your past not defining who you are but facing your past being necessary to move on anyway. the symbolism of atsushi’s abuser being the one to push him forward despite atsushi’s dislike for him—you cannot get rid of him. you cannot stop caring. you will cry when your father dies and you will hate him for it. you will never get rid of the ghost that haunts you but sometimes acknowledging it is the first step to healing. can anyone hear me

The interview part 1 with shin soukoku that you wrote? Please. Part 2. I'M ON MY KNEES PLEASE 😭😭😭 AHHAHSJSJSKAKAKAKKSKSJSJSJSJSJSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN it's fucking ADDICTING I LOVE IT

I'm so happy you love it!

Sorry it took so long to respond, been kinda busy, but I just posted part two! Hope you enjoy :)

ATTENTION ALL

DANNY MOTTA IS GOING TO REACT TO EPIC THE MUSICAL THIS IS THE SECOND BEST DAY EVER (THE BEST DAY WILL BE THE DAY OF THE REACTION)

A ramble/analysis about the significance of the bar in The Day I Picked Up Dazai

Ok, so I just reread the day I picked up Dazai, and read side b for the first time, and man do I have many, many thoughts, but one thing in particular struck me, and that is the bar. More specifically, the reason why they go in the first place and why it is significant. (spoilers for the day i picked up dazai side a, obviously)

The first time the bar is mentioned is when Odasaku and Dazai are having a discussion about death and why Dazai desires it. Oda says that "he is a fool for wanting to die" and that anyone is fool for dying before going to "that place." He doesn't specify what it is though, and Dazai thinks he's making it up at first. The way Odasaku speaks about it, it's as if it's some magic place, a place that only some can see the true value of. This intrigues Dazai, because one important thing about him is the fact that he's always searching. Always looking for something interesting, some reason to keep living, some proof that life isn't the boring place he believes it to be.

The second time this place is brought up is when Odasaku and Dazai are in the cell, and Oda is trying to convince Dazai that he should escape with him. He mentions that the place is nearby, and that they should escape and go. Now, Dazai is truly curious about it, and it works. He says, "how long has it been, I wonder? To have somewhere I want to go...I have a feeling that even if there is nothing at that place, it will be fine as it is." He's excited, and looking forward to the place that Odasaku has been, for lack of a better term, hyping up the entire light novel. Even if it may not be so interesting after all, like Oda said it might not be.

Still, when they arrive at the bar, Dazai acts a little disappointed at first. The place Oda took him to was really just a bar after all. Odasaku even admits that he lied, that where could he take him to that he wouldn't already know, and that he was merely teasing him. Dazai is taken aback at first, but in the end, he finds value in the place. They sit for ages, talking about everything and nothing, playing poker, and drinking. And despite being disappointed in the beginning, it ends up being enough for Dazai.

And now, for the actual point of this ted talk, the reason why this is so significant is because to me, the bar represents Dazai's search. He is always looking for something interesting to keep him alive, but the fact of the matter is, there is nothing. Oda says as much to him when he dies; nothing in this world is going to fill the void of loneliness inside of Dazai. But the fact that he took Dazai to something as simple as a bar, a place he said he was a fool for not going, the place that intrigued Dazai so much signifies that Dazai would only find something in a place as simple as a bar. That for all his searching, the answer might just be playing a game of cards and talking to a friend while having a few drinks. Dazai feels so far removed from human connection, but in truth, that is the one thing that could even attempt to fill the void, even if just a little. He will keep searching, keep looking for some external factor that may allow life to interest him, the thing that he would be foolish for dying before seeing, but the answer might just lie in spending the night in a simple bar with a friend.

"Oh my math teacher on the news wanted for mass murder. Who said math teachers are boring?"