Latest Posts by xvxblahhhxvx - Page 3

This is beautiful. Omg. I want to stare at this forever. What the heck??

you cannot save a past that you cannot remember...

but maybe you can learn and accept that it will always be a part of you… somewhere within.

close up shots :

Hope I'm not too late, have some Pi Day memes.

Ok ok I'm going to scream. I was rewatching a scene from the third episode, right after Atsushi tries to shoot Akutagawa, and then Akutagawa says, "blah blah blah, unfortunately for you, I keep my promises" and then proceeds to cut off his leg, as one does.

AND IT'S THE FACT THAT AKUTAGAWA KEEPS HIS PROMISES THAT'S THE REASON ATSUSHI IS ALIVE AFTER THE FIGHT WITH FUKUCHI HE INTRODUCED HIMSELF AS SOMEONE WHO KEEPS HIS PROMISES AND THAT ENDED UP SAVING ATSUSHI'S LIFE AND ANDLFIDSNLFNA—

my bungou stray dogs sketchbook 😊

Ngl, this line from episode two feels like the show's way of explaining all its silly little traumatized characters.

beast dazai is considered a tragic character for all the obvious reasons: carried the weight of the memories of his other selves and using that knowledge to save oda from his fate even if it meant dying/killing himself in the end. This sympathetic narrative allows you to ignore the utter selfishness and immaturity of beast dazai and how he runs away from grief and pain, and I mean this in the best way possible.

The real tragedy of beast is that unlike all the other dazais, beast dazai never got the chance to meet and know oda, thence allowing him a new perspective to grow. In The day I picked up Dazai , dazai shows personal growth by the end of the novel, hence why he respects oda a lot. He is treated as a human being who still doesn't know much, and that brings comfort to someone deemed a demon prodigy. In side b of the same novel, beast dazai makes an effort to not know or bond with oda; yes this is because he wanted to ensure his survival by steering him away from the port mafia, but that event is what fundamentally changed dazai- gave him a better understanding of his own humanity.

Despite having all that knowledge of his other selves, of how each universe's timeline will play out, beast dazai didn't seem to grasp that it is grief that allowed the other dazai to grow and be a better person. He didn't understand that in the end, it is the time he (the other dazai) spent with oda that made living worthwhile, not his life. His state of living, the state of perfection in beast dazai's eyes, will still cause him more suffering than the act of losing a good friend.

Because if he had only wanted him to live, then he wouldn't have been so shocked when oda refused to indulge in a friendly conversation, not when he clearly went out of his way to antagonize himself in oda's eyes in tdipud. It's because the realization hit him: he wanted his time with oda to not be cut short.

Having memories of another oda is clearly not enough, he needed his own intimate friendship with his own oda. But with this elaborate plan and his reaction to being rejected, it's clear that beast dazai was trying to avoid pain. He could not accept the grief and pain of loss that he's seen and felt in his other selves, ignoring what came after: growth and satisfaction of ever having oda in their lives at all.

Pain is inherently human and by ignoring and rejecting it, beast dazai rejects his own humanity. Or runs away from it, because it catches up to him regardless. He still ignores it throughout the rest of the story, especially in other characters.

Beast dazai, as we all know, eventually takes his own life. While there is a reason as to why he did it, but it was still part of his plan from the beginning. Meaning, he knew this near fruitless pursuit would still have him unable to handle grief. It's an inherently selfish goal with an inherently selfish way out under the guise of "leaving the rest in atsushi and akutagawa's hands"

(Note: I do not mean in any way that suicide is selfish, but rather the narrative and character of dazai in beast alludes to this. Both concepts can co-exist in a fictional setting)

Despite seemingly helping other characters, beast dazai also trampled on both akutagawa and atsushi's self worth. This made them easier to manipulate for his grand plan, but ignores the damage he's done to them and other characters after his death.

For akutagawa it is the loss of his sister and convincing him of his monstrosity due to Dazai's meddling. For atsushi, someone he conditioned into severe fear and dependency on him, was left alone watching the person he cared so much for fall from the building. And yes, he left him in mori's care afterwards, but dazai should know more than anyone the damage the death of a loved one has, unless it doesn't apply to him.

In the epilogue, mori openly mourns dazai's death along with atsushi. Due to being free of his rigid responsibility as the pm boss, he had the liberty of finally being the caretaker he's always wanted to be but at the cost of the person he considered his son (in comparing dazai to atsushi, who he then calls his son + all the other stances where mori treated dazai like a son etc)

The thing that beast dazai, or dazai in general, tends to not fully understand or accept, is that he is also loved, and his death will cause others pain as well. I am by no means saying he should've thought of others before dying, but it is the lives of others that dazai from the main manga also cherishes after oda's death. Beast dazai made it his entire life goal to essentially protect oda, realize its not the only thing he's wanted from him and gave his raison d'etre a flimsy excuse of meaning in life. It's inherently selfish.

Selfishness is a common theme in bsd, and beast dazai fits right in. Atsushi's selfish desire to save people to give himself a justification to be alive, Sigma's inherently selfish nature of self preservation and identity and so on.

I've probably ranted for much longer than anticipated, but the point is: beast dazai's purpose is a selfish desire to escape pain and loss when it's crucial to the human experience. Dazai in the main manga seems to grasp this much better than beast dazai, it's something the latter is "missing", refusing to grow out of his selfishness and it makes his character more of a cautionary tale.

Bsd is such an interesting subset of series to me, because it's the type of series where, if you like it, we can sit here for hours and hours talking about the all the characters, the depth, the trauma, the emotion, the significance in the coats, the yin yang symbolism, "away with you, you fool," skk, etc.

But if you don't like it, then you will think it's a badly written silly little detective anime, and I cannot convince you otherwise.

A Mysterious Thing Called "The Heart": Akutagawa’s Evolution in Bungo Stray Dogs and again not too detailed but a lot of THOUGHTS

In the latest chapters of Bungo Stray Dogs, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke’s character arc has reached a profound turning point (well it usually does, he has a slow and gradual and good development.) After losing his memories or so it seems, he only regains them in the wake of Atsushi’s self-sacrifice, an event that carries immense weight given their history. This development not only ties back to recurring themes in Akutagawa’s story but also resonates with Asagiri’s earlier work on him, particularly the short story The Heartless Cur. The significance of this title alone—"cur" referring to a stray dog, an outcast—echoes his core struggle with identity, worth, and the pursuit of strength. Now, with the latest manga title, A Mysterious Thing Called "The Heart", we see the final steps of this journey: the realization of what it means to protect, to be selfless, and to truly understand one’s own heart.

The Struggle for Worth: From The Heartless Cur to not quite understanding The Mysterious Heart

Akutagawa has long been plagued by the idea that only the strong have value. His harsh upbringing in the slums and Dazai’s ruthless mentorship reinforced this belief, leading him to adopt a mindset where power dictated one’s worth. The Heartless Cur explores this concept deeply, portraying Akutagawa as someone whose existence is defined by violence and survival. The title itself suggests a being without purpose beyond its primal instincts—an apt metaphor for the way Akutagawa saw himself.

Yet, in the present timeline, something shifts. Akutagawa’s repeated confrontations with Atsushi force him to acknowledge a different kind of strength—one rooted not in destruction and not just in protection, but from within oneself. This realization is crucial, as it reframes his view on what it means to live and fight, and importantly get rid of the Dazai obsession to which I am glad he lost that coat, which to me in a way is like the "watch" in beast for Atsushi. The title of the newest chapter, A Mysterious Thing Called "The Heart", directly contrasts his previous mindset. Where once he believed himself heartless, unworthy, and merely a weapon, he now finds himself understanding the weight of sacrifice, the worth of another’s life, and, ultimately, the meaning of his own (hopefully asagiri doesn't mess this up, but I believe in him so I'm sure all will turn out great just with a lot of lore dump and excessive plot armor with no deaths until wayyy later on. Ahem, but anyways.)

From Selfishness to Selflessness: The Parallel Between Akutagawa and Atsushi

One of the most striking aspects of Akutagawa’s sacrifice is how it mirrors Atsushi’s own. Both characters have operated on deeply ingrained selfish desires—Akutagawa seeking validation through strength, Atsushi yearning for affirmation that he deserves to live through saving. Now I know I mentioned this before, and I keep mentioning it, because to me its important to add. Their growth has always been intertwined, clashing and evolving through their battles. However, the defining moment of Akutagawa’s return to consciousness—when Atsushi sacrifices himself and repeats Akutagawa’s words—highlights a crucial transformation: their shift from selfishness to selflessness. In both of them in a way, even if Atsushi has put his life on the line to save others before it was not quite like he did here, without activating his ability (we're not sure if he really could or couldn't in the moment but lets add that here anyways.) to save Akutagawa at the expense of his own life and survival just as Akutagawa did for him, sacrificing his own life, his own selfish need for survival even if he stated he does not mind death for the knowing the value of anothers' life. I know I said this before too but just let me write.

It’s a moment of complete reversal and similarity as these Yin-Yang boys have always shown, proving that the rival enemies have truly come to understand each other. Akutagawa regaining his memories at this precise moment reinforces the idea that it was just that big of a deal and how impactful his own sacrifice and development was and it shows the same for Atsushi.

The Role of Rashomon: A Shield and a Blade

Rashomon has always been more than just an offensive ability. While it is known for its terrifying destructive power, its defensive capabilities reveal another side of Akutagawa’s character. This duality—destruction and protection—mirrors his own self. Initially, he wielded Rashomon purely as a weapon of aggression, but as he evolved, so too did his ability’s purpose. When he shields not just Rashomon shielding himself but when he raises his blade for others, this is a huge change - though I believe Knight Aku has much to explain especially I hope asagiri tells us if this is a singularity of bram and akutagawa or not. Which may take months. 

This theme of protection is not new. In 55 Minutes, after dying in flames, Akutagawa retained memories that should have been erased—a testament to how deeply certain experiences impact him. Likewise, in his vampire state, he still exhibited a sense of control, sparing Aya and ultimately keeping his promise despite being under mind control. Now I know when it said the heartless dog/emotionless child felt emotion for the first time it was hatred before going on that killing spree. But after all this it does show. These moments underscore a crucial truth: Akutagawa has always had a heart, even when he believed himself heartless or is shown to be.  (I will write more on this in another post, I know I keep saying that too, but it will happen and it will have to do with an interesting thing of Akutagawa's character being written and possibly shown in the "Rashomon Effect" you can research it if you don't know it already.)

The Weight of Words: From the Trembling Dark World

Akutagawa’s theme song, From the Trembling Dark World, captures the essence of his character’s struggles at least what they used to be. The lyrics paint a picture of someone who has always been fighting—against the world, against himself, against the fear of being weak:

"A longing as strong as 

A reason to live even when I’m unable to breathe

From the trembling dark world, always." It may not specifically be his reason to live but this says its "a longing as strong as a reason to live." This reflects the pain and determination that have defined his journey. The idea of pressing forward despite suffering is central to his story, but not just that but it shows just how important again that longing for approval and to be told he is strong and worthy to live is, which we all know funnily enough is what he mocked atsushi for before. Though they are so the same and different and I could go on forever about every little detail of their sentences to each other but not now, unfortunately. Another significant line is:

"Unreachable no matter how much I writhe."

Dazai’s influence is evident here (when is it not when it comes to Akutagawa?). Akutagawa was shaped by the expectation that he had to be strong to matter, that to stop moving forward was to be left behind. Yet, the lyrics also suggest a yearning for something beyond this endless struggle.

The song’s repetitive line is particularly poignant:

"Weak, weak and it's not enough."

This shows us a lot, or well kind of, within the last chapter in the manga and besides his endless yearning for strength and Dazais acknowledgement which is meant by this line in the song back probably around 8 or more years ago... His willingness to die not for power or recognition but for someone else’s survival is the ultimate proof that he has changed. The once "heartless cur" has found his heart—not in words, but in action. Funnily enough before he died he had a nice conversation with Fukuchi on what his last words would be, and he said he prefers actions, but what do we get... "Away with you...you fool." 

Lets also not forget how important this cycles and webs are of connection, manipulation, abuse etc. But considering that, remember how Akutagawa threatened Kyouka with getting thrown into a dark world/slums? How he described it... Well I need to re-read and get a better perspective or coherent thoughts on it but I'm sure it was said that Dazai threatened him with the same thing, to be sent back if he didn't do good. Which would of course make Akutagawa all the more "grateful" for being taken in and trained to be "strong" because like he's seen all his life only the strong survive, and the worthy get to live at the "top" of the world. Its funny how this kind of even gets added into his likes as the things he likes are very refined so to say, to show he is no longer down there. But I see how Dazai probably saw a piece of himself in Akutagawa, killing, empty eyes, looking for a reason to live - and decided to try and give him one in the way he knew too. At that time Dazai was in the Port Mafia he was a very different Dazai from the ADA one, his methods and his ideas...all quite different that its obvious what happened there with him and Akutagawa. And how Akutagawa saw himself in Kyoula (interesting she was 11 or around there when she joined wasn't it or was it 12-13? similarly to when dazai found Akutagawa) he said he saw the same eyes he knows, because he too had the same eyes. But now she has found the light, and a reason for living besides killing, a place to belong that doesn't hurt her constantly. (While he got that yes, but the place he belonged was void of the person he was waiting for approval from, and it definitely did not help in his mental state and health or help him much in any ways as the ADA did for Kyouka as we see his eyes are still the same, dark but now with determination.

Also a random mention to later chapters just because Akutagawas eyes are important to me (as everything in his character is important to me.) 

And perhaps, in the end, he was never truly heartless—he just needed someone to remind him that his heart was always there, waiting to be acknowledged. Kind of like Yosano who was used for her ability, but never had her kindness acknowledged until Ranpo invited her to the Agency. 

(Also random thing to add but I enjoy canon way too much to consume too much fanon content so I prefer keeping away most of the time so I can keep my thoughts and theories/analysis of things clear and to do with canon so things don't get blurred or messed up or have mischaracterization or information errors. But if you do find any or have anything to say about it please do.)

I wrote before about his eyes in another post probably twice or more times as I always like mentioning it... But just to add:

On a side note I feel like Harukawa was talking about Tanizaki who we know will soon probably have more relevance with Naomi or something.

His eyes always turn completely dark. And he was said to be good enough to be in the mafia before. Not to mention when Yosano said she wouldn't go back he offered to go. And reading back Harukawa said that mostly those in the PM are like this. But anyways. Hope the rambling ended up alright, I'll end the series of thoughts and analyzing for now.

~ Hope your brain isn't as fried as mine, end of The Akutagawa Fan, Charkoala, Caldera posting until the next few hours.

Also now that we have the context, Akutagawa's comeback “do we need any more” is so much funnier. He was really racking his brain to come up with another citation from their earlier fight that would have resulted as equally iconic

I love how for the last few chapters, I saw so many posts that were confused, annoyed, bored, and just generally frustrated with the direction the series was taking, claiming that it was getting repetitive, and then this chapter came around and now everyone is like "YES YES THIS IS WHY IT'S MY FAVORITE SERIES THIS IS AMAZING THIS IS A MASTERPIECE I NEVER DOUBTED YOU FOR A SECOND ASAGIRI, YOU LITTLE GENIUS—"

Chapter 121.5 reaction cuz why not.

Spoilers for chapter 121.5.

THE THING HE SAID THE THING-

They make me feral, crazy. Literally screamed. Looks like the power of totally-not-gay-dying-for-your-rival-and-the-person-you-totally- hate-the-most-in-the-world-worked.

Not dead?? what a shocker...

Also, love Atsushi in this moment. "And the most important reason why I did this was because I literally have no other ideas and also I'm going crazy so totally-not-gay-dying-to-protect-the-person-I-hate seemed like the best idea at this moment."

Same place we've been for years, Atsushi, hasn't changed

Obviously, we all knew that, keep up Atsushi, I mean, perfectly clear.

This is random, but I kinda like how it shows Dazai "striding" like he's totally chill with what's going on and I imagine in Atsushi's brain rn it's like "step yep I know how to walk and that's about the only thing I can remember right now so I'm just gonna do that."

SOMEONE GIVE THIS POOR BABY A WARM BOWL OF CHAZUKE AND A HUG, SOMEONE DO IT RIGHT NOW.

Uhm. K. Well, that was a roller coaster. Also, I really don't think having Atsushi relive his past trauma is gonna help rn, we're trying to minimize the breakdowns, feeling strongly to remember the director doesn't feel like the best of ideas right now Dazai, but that might just be me. I mean what's one more emotional breakdown amirite-

And nowwww, we wait.

The thread from twitter I did about my interpretations on Verlaine, rereading this some parts might sounds a little redundant but i think it gets the point across.

People have a lot of opinions on Verlaine but I think this one line in particular goes hard & does alot to explain his view of humanity as well as the conversation a the end of SB.

“Sometimes creating is far more sinister than killing.”

I think Verlaine views his creation as an ‘act of humanity’. But to normal people, an act of humanity means kindness, right? Showing compassion or empathy. But from Verlaine’s POV it is the *opposite* of that. Humanity is not kind nor compassionate. It’s dark, twisted, & selfish.

Humanity to Verlaine is *only* the darkest and worst parts of human nature because that’s all he ever knew. He was created with the sole purpose of being controlled & used to kill & destroy. That was his entire world until Rimbaud rescued him & gave him some control for the first time.

Verlaine despises how he was created, that he was created in the first place. In his mind, humans used their capacity to create to make something that only serves to destroy & also, cruelly, allowed that creation to suffer all alone. They let him suffer and never treated him as a human, just a tool. A weapon. So he came to resent humans & humanity itself.

To Verlaine, humanity represents everything sinister in the world. Not any of the good that, say, Chuuya sees. Rimbaud was an exception to this, however, & I believe it’s why Verlaine pushed Rimbaud away. Because his existence & treatment of Verlaine was challenging this world view. Then when Rimbaud sides against him when he wanted to take Chuuya to safety, that was the confirmation Verlaine needed that Rimbaud was just like the rest. Even if Verlaine knew deep down that wasn’t really true.

Humanity disgusts him because of the way he was created & his lack of real purpose. He couldn’t find a reason he *should* exist, given that the original purpose of his creation was sinister. Because of that I think he believes no good can come from humanity so he thinks of them as monsters.

It’s why he believes creating is more sinister than killing. Humanity created him out of selfishness & with no compassion what so ever. He resents his very existence & his loneliness. He believes someone would have to be sinister to create Verlaine as he is, completely alone, no real purpose, only to be used by others.

So he thinks of the people who made him (& by extension Chuuya) as the worst monsters, more monstrous than he could ever be. It’s this dark view of humanity that I believe leads to Verlaine to thinking of killing as a thrill to him & also a tool.

Nothing about humanity is salvageable to him, at least not until the end of SB. In his own words he’s “the soul of a man who couldn’t trust the world or its people like you do.” As he says to Chuuya at the end of the book when he comes to realize, through Chuuya, his view may be wrong/incomplete.

Verlaine was incapable of trusting that humans could be more, that they were more than their darkest parts. He wasn’t able to trust that darkness was only a singular part of humanity & that the good wasn’t only a mask they would hide their darkness with. Though some do hide behind masks of kindness, it’s not all of humanity. Genuine people do exist. Caring people do exist.

But to Verlaine, killing humans isn’t a monstrous act. It’s almost an act of mercy or even a punishment. But Verlaine is also just desperately lonely because of his loathing of humanity. How he separates himself from it. That’s why when he learns of Chuuya, someone that existed that he felt might share his pain & might actually understand his POV, all he wants to do is protect him. To bring him to his side so he doesn’t have to be so lonely anymore & he can still serve humanity the “justice” for lack of a better word he thinks they deserve through killing.

He wanted to protect Chuuya from humanity itself because to him, humanity is the villain. He believed everyone around Chuuya was only using him because to him that’s all humans do. Aside Rimbaud, who he ended up fighting, he never had anyone to show him other things humanity has to offer

To him all humans do is use & abused & are selfish & twisted. That’s why Verlaine doesn’t even think twice about killing the flags, for example. Surely they were just using Chuuya like everyone else. Humans are the monsters, not him & Chuuya, despite the purposes of their creation.

Now, in the end, Chuuya & Verlaine come to understand more of each others POVs. That’s why Verlaine taught Chuuya how to defeat him. Because even while Verlaine still doesn’t quite believe humanity has value, he sees Chuuya’s conviction in his belief that humanity *is*valuable. People can be worth it.

Chuuya knows humanity is more complex than Verlaine believes & despite the darkness that exists there *is* light too. Humans are more than their worst sides. Chuuya has always believed people were worth living for, that they were worth suffering for.

But he also knows he could have easily gone down the dark path Verlaine did. As Chuuya says “You rolled the dice and lost. It was a stroke of bad luck, and you rolled a one. But the pips came out different when I rolled. I was blessed with wonderful friends. That’s all.”

Verlaine, in the end, I believe, *wants* to believe in what Chuuya believes about the world. As Chuuya says to him:

“Besides, what you have isn’t just hatred. You don’t actually despise the world. That’s why you showed me that memory. You taught me how to defeat Guivre.”

Chuuya is his opposite essentially. Chuuya, even while suffering at the hand of the coldness and cruelty that humanity is capable of, can still see the good and light of human nature. Chuuya has always known there is more to humanity than cruelty & Verlaine never was able to see that before.

Chuuya contributes this essentially to always having friends, people he cared about around him. But Chuuya does *understand* why Verlaine is the way he is. Why Verlaine thinks the way he does & Chuuya, being who he is, essentially forgives him in the end. It’s why he’s able to have that “final” conversation with him.

Humanity, what it *means* to be human, is really the entire theme of Storm Bringer & everyone showcases us a different perspective of this. Chuuya, Adam & Verlaine (Dazai somewhat as well) as show us different aspects of humanity and ones struggles with it. Verlaine’s view is dark. It showcases the impact a *lack* of humanity being shown to others can have on us.

I am also not saying anything Verlaine did was alright or justifying what he did because of his broken view on life. What he tried to do by killing everyone Chuuya knew was wrong. But he *does care* about Chuuya. But he couldn’t express that in any healthy way. He didn’t know how, didn’t know it was wrong in the first place.

Anyway, this is just my interpretation of Verlaine as a character and everyone can have their own interpretations! These are just my thoughts. I hope they made sense, I’m not super sure I was able to articulate everything well. I think I I kinda rambled but oh well.

I just want to make it clear that Hamas shot and mutilated and burnt alive 38 children on October 7th including seven children under the age of six. They also kidnapped 42 more. Hamas shot and killed one of the child hostages, a 12 year old autistic girl, and her grandma, a few hours after kidnapping them, presumably because they decided that keeping them as hostages would be too much of a hassle because of the girl's disability. They burnt an entire family, including a two year old toddler and twin five year old girls, alive. They shot a different nine month year old baby than the one who is being mourned today in the head. Another 12 year old girl was burnt alive that day along with 13 other civilians who were kidnapped, and her body was so mutilated it took a month to identify her remains. What happened to the Bibas children is not an anomaly. This is the organization that people around the world have chosen to celebrate and the organization that student groups at elite universities globally are choosing to very bluntly support and champion as #resistance against imperialism or colonization or whatever the justification for child murder is today. They are antisemitic terrorists and absolutely nobody has the right to act like what they have done is a shock. They announce over and over that this, Jewish civilian death, is their goal, and they repeatedly attain it because the entire world enables them and celebrates it when they kill Jewish kids.

It's objectively hysterical that it took Kunikida so long to figure out Dazai was in the Mafia.

For starters, the entire Entrance Exam light novel, he and the president were commenting on how suspicious it was that this man just seemingly had no past at all. and stated numerous times that he thought he was some sort of criminal.

And then there's this scene:

Dazai *randomly gives a detailed run down of the organ trafficking business*

Kunikida: how do you know that??

Dazai: Oh i heard two people talking about it once.

Kunikida:

Kunikida: yes that makes sense.

Or that time when he ran into Akutagawa and electrocuted him:

Aku: yes you are worthy of being Dazai's partner.

Kunikida: "worthy of...?" Do I know you?? Does Dazai know you??

Aku:

Aku: goodbye now.

Like all the clues were there but Kunikida just thought this man was too lazy to have ever really been a professional criminal.

Grown-ups are lonely people. Even if we love each other, we must be careful not to show it publicly. And why all this caution? The answer is simple: because people are too often betrayed and put to public shame. The discovery that you cannot trust people is the first lesson young people learn as they grow up into adults. Adults are adolescents who have been betrayed.

Dazai Osamu, Tsugaru

Ok so this isn't really stupid, but I do wonder if Dazai took the time to explore the world and people a bit.

Like Odasaku wants him to help people, but he's spent so much time entrenched in darkness, so he needs to start small by helping old ladies cross the street and listen to them talk about their grandkids.

Maybe he helped out at a school to learn a bit more about children.

Volunteered at a soup kitchen to observe those in need in a much different way than he's used to.

Would just sit in a park to watch parents playing with their kids, couples walking together, etc.

He's always said he wants to die, but this is different. Sort of like what he said about observing death up to close to understand what it truly means to live, but the opposite. Observing life up close to understand what it truly means to die.

And finding that maybe, he doesn't want that. Maybe, living in the light won't be so bad.

what's your stupid thing you think Dazai learned during his two years in hiding while keeping himself busy

Fitzgerald is such an underratedly funny American like-

He showed up, created chaos, mispronounced names because those darn Chinese I mean Japanese names amirite, and then even after he got defeated, he was saved by the power of love and now he's just in the background doing capitalism while the main cast is busy fighting off terrorists.

One thing that always bothers me is when people reduce Chuuya down to "anger issues." Because he's so much more than just an angry little redhead. Yeah, Dazai's ticks him off, but aside from that, whenever he's shown as being angry, it's never because of a stupid reason that had his temper going off. Like in the movie, he was mad because six of his friends were killed due to a government decision. He was angry in season three when he learned he had two days to either kill the leader of the Agency, a group that he knew they had a ceasefire with, or else the boss would die. I'm pretty sure Harukawa even said that Chuuya's actually composed most of the time, it's only when he's with Dazai that he reverts into a five year old with anger issues, as does Dazai. And as a matter of fact, he spent most of his life bottling down anger, taking responsibility for others, never really letting himself experience these emotions for others sake. In Stormbringer, Verlaine wants him to be mad, to use that anger to prove he's just a beast, and for him to go hurt the world that did bad to him. Something which Chuuya doesn't want to do.

I'm not saying that his patience is unlimited or that he doesn't get angry often, but whenever I see him get reduced to Bakugo syndrome, it always gets me annoyed, because it feels like people don't truly understand his character.

I know I already made a post about this, but I wanted to expound on it a bit, because I'm still obsessed with the idea of Dazai being a bad person on the good side, and Chuuya being a good person on the bad side.

Because in essence, the fact that Dazai's in the Agency helping people is because he's selfish, and Chuuya stayed with the Mafia because he's selfless. Contrary to what a lot of people say, Dazai didn't leave the Mafia for Odasaku. He never promised him, never said "I'll do it for you," never did it because Odasaku wanted him to be good. He did it for himself. Odasaku tells him that he'll always be alone, something Dazai fears and knows deep down, and asks what he's supposed to do now. Odasaku then gives him advice, tells him that being on the side that saves people will make his world a bit brighter, and so Dazai agrees to leave the Mafia for himself. And once Dazai agreed to this, then Odasaku says "Man lives to save himself..." Further cementing the idea that Dazai is doing this for his sake and his sake alone. He wants his own life to be better, and if helping people will make it a bit brighter, then he's willing to try doing that.

Chuuya, however, would never leave the Port Mafia because he's the opposite. He cares more about other people than he does his own self. From youth, he became the leader of a child gang in order to protect them, because he felt he was fulfilling his duty as someone with power to protect those who took him in. And even after they betray him, Chuuya still joins the Mafia in order to protect them. To protect the kids who just stabbed him in the back because he would never betray those who did good to him. And the Mafia did that. They took him in, gave him a place to live, a job, a purpose, a family. He actively seeks to make connections with those around him, and once they have his loyalty, it never leaves. In Stormbringer, the detective wanted him to betray the Mafia, and he wouldn't do it, yet later, when the detective dies, Chuuya mourns his death and the loss of opportunity for him to leave the Mafia. It shows that he did, in fact, wish to leave, but he never would. Because why would he hurt those around him who've done good to him? It's very obvious that he's selfless and self-sacrificial, as seen in Fifteen, Stormbringer (where he gave up ever knowing if he was human in order to protect the city), and Dead Apple where he risked his own life to protect the city. The fact that he's still with the Port Mafia, still actively being a bad person, is because he never would and never could leave them, and would do anything to protect them, no matter how bad they'd treat him. Because he cares more about others than his own happiness.

And it's because of that their dynamic is the way it is now. Dazai's one of "the good guys" and Chuuya's one of "the bad guys," but the lines become much more blurred when they're together. Who's the better person in the dynamic? Someone who's doing bad for others or doing good for himself? Either way, both are morally gray characters who blur the lines of morality when they're together.

Sometimes, I wonder if Atsushi ever thinks about what might have happened had he saved a McDonald's employee from drowning instead.

YES. It feels like so many people entirely miss the point of Dead Apple, saying "it's not that important but Dazai and Chuuya." Like, the entire point of the movie is the fact that the whole time, Atsushi doesn't want to kill anyone. He doesn't understand why they'd have to resolve to killing, and more importantly, his power wouldn't come back to him because he hasn't truly accepted it. And then, he learns that he did kill, as a matter of fact. He killed because of the power of the tiger. He killed because he wanted to survive, something which has always been a main point of Atsushi's character. And only after that does he become ok with his power and what it did for him, and only after that is he ok with killing Shibusawa. But noooooo, the entire movie is just about that one scene.

Half the fandom overlooking Atsushis lore for that one skk scene

(Atsushi lore repost because I know how to tag now)

I just learned about the Untold Origins getting a manga, and while I'm not complaining, I just have to ask like...how. How in the world does Asagiri have so many people making manga of his works like????? I have no idea how mainstream bsd considered in Japan, but what is this, manga number seven? Eight? Every day it gets harder and harder to introduce new people into this fandom.

*121 spoilers*

oh ok so we are actually going to acknowledge the Dazai phantom in the room I just thought we we'd let him chill and grant him residency didn't think we'd start to ask questions like why. Why has Atsushi been hallucinating a man this whole time.

I'm trying to prove a point.

It's such an underrated little detail that Atsushi, in fact, did not want to join the Agency, because he thought the job was too crazy and violent for him, and he firmly believed every single one of them was nuts (which he's not wrong). Dazai simply manipulated convinced him to join by pointing out the fact that Atsushi didn't really have money or friends. So he was stuck with the weirdos.

Like, he seriously just wants a paycheck and chazuke. Oh sure, he found a family in the ADA, but I'm sure he thinks he's the only sane one there.

Beast is seriously insane from Akutagawa's perspective because like. Imagine a man showing up in your darkest moment of revenge, only to completely call you out on all your deeply sensitive flaws and everything that's wrong with you, kidnap your sister, and ask for a rematch without actually leaving a way to find him again and you're just like, "hello do I know you??"

And then some four and half years later you actually find him again only to learn he's like actually the Mafia boss, he for some reason deeply wants you to fight this other guy who you barely know, you get completely wrapped up in his ridiculous scheme for some reason or another, he compliments your fight with said stranger by comparing it to another fight with said stranger that has never existed in your mind, casually reveals the most crazy, existential crisis inducing information, appoints you and stranger who you just met to be "guardians" of something you barely understand when all you want is to find your sister and be a detective, and then you're forced to watch as the man who again, you've met exactly one (1) time before in your life, casually throws himself off a roof and you're just like. "ok???"

A cute detail I love about the Agency's office is that everyone else's desks have files and laptops on it while Ranpo's just has a singular phone because it's the only thing he needs to do his job; get calls and go detective. And then come home and snack

(Ranpo's desk is the one in the center)

Literally. The second the finale aired, the whole arc suddenly turned from tragedy to comedy. And suddenly, Chuuya was very justified for shooting Dazai an extra few times.

EXTREMELY funny Chuuya frame in retrospect

While I'm grateful bsd doesn't do the "As you know..." type of exposition, it's crazy how much worldbuilding there is like. in the shadows of everything. Like, what's up with the Great War? This isn't even so evident if you don't read the light novels, but there was literally a world war that ended less than fifteen years before the start of the main timeline. It's because of the war that there are so many orphans in the universe. It's because of the war that ability users have faded into a myth, and why they have to get special permits to work and usually gravitate towards underground organizations. It's because of the war why world relations are so shaky, why the government strictly monitors all ability users, and yet all of this is sort of like...in the background? Season four is the first time we ever even get a real flashback and actual exposition about it in the anime, even though it's been vaguely referenced as early as season two with Mimic. They literally did experiments on children, hence Chuuya. So much of the world and the violence and the tripartite framework all came into existence because of the war. And until the most recent arc, where it's being brought to the forefront with both Fukuchi and Fyodor's plan to eradicate ability users, it's sort of just in the background.

And don't even get me started on the lore behind the Dragon Head Conflict because like-

Atsushi Trivia From the Guidebooks

"What color would you compare yourself to?" "White, because my hair is white and it's also the furthest color from Akutagawa."

Man, I love this kid so much