149 posts
Dangers of working on a set.
That’s what I said.
Enid, discussing whether or not her parents know she’s gay: I mean it’s not like it matters, I’m going to die alone anyway.
Wednesday, without hesitation: You’re right. You’re incredibly annoying.
Enid:
Enid: That was uncalled for.
Wednesday: I apologise. Would it help if I married you?
Enid: You know what? Yes. Yes it would.
Wednesday: Well if I must.
[Later that evening]
Wednesday: And you said I’d have to tell Enid how I felt to convince her to marry me.
Thing: YOU’RE-A-MENACE-TO-SOCIETY.
Wednesday: Why thank you Thing.
Thing: TELL-ENID-YOU-LOVE-HER.
Wednesday: I’d sooner kill us both. Now focus, we have a wedding to plan.
Great Mouse Detective version of Dracula happening simultaneously as the events of Dracula, so there’s just five mice in Victorian clothes unnoticed by the human cast desperately trying to kill a bat.
i just think it's neat that odysseus gets put in a position where he has to kill his child to avoid going to war and he can't do it and then agamemnon gets put in a position where he has to kill his child to go to war and he does it
Bruce being so done with life because none of his kids treat their medical files on the batcomputer with the importance it deserves. And the worst part is, he can't tell if it's on purpose or if they're all Just Like That.
Dick:
He loves his eldest son but for some reason, he refuses to do anything but put down estimated recovery times in his injuries folder. It's usually in the range of "2 weeks" to "48 hours" but that just leaves Bruce worrying about what happened.
One time, he put down 3 months and he nearly had a heart attack till his son called and told him Kor'i had dumped him and that this was how long he was going to be wallowing.
Jason:
Is nice enough to tell him what happened but doesn't add the degree of injury.
So he'll put down "stabbed" but won't elaborate on whether it was a flesh wound or worse. Bruce goes grey very, very early after Jason is on the field.
Tim:
Gives him just the location of the injury and leaves him to guess what happened.
Could say "arm" or "back of the head" or, on one memorable occasion, "spleen", but won't say what the heck happened to any of those parts.
Was he stabbed?? Shot at?? Who knows. Certainly not Bruce.
Damian:
Only mentions the retribution he got for any injuries he received.
"It's been handled", "he'll never be able to get the drop on me again" and more often than not, just the word "avenged".
Bruce is surprised he has any of his original hair colour left at all.
Duke:
By far the worst one. He writes down injuries in terms of his own pain scale.
Could write "OW!" or "Not Gucci" or "Better than that time Jason hit me in the face with a TV remote".
Once wrote "Non-fatal" which sent Bruce into a spiral because "holy shit Duke?? What do you mean non-fatal?? Yeah I sure hope your injuries weren't lethal?!"
Cass:
Has never been injured on patrol. Often leaves him question marks in her file which...yeah, fair enough.
The Office but it's the Batfamily.
Bernard (To the camera): I think Bruce hates me.
---
Bruce (to the camera): I am very glad Tim, found himself dating someone. I don't think there's someone who would ever be enough to any of my children.
Bruce: But he is happy. So I am happy as well.
---
Bernard, invited over to dinner: That's. . . Um, A very nice mansion you have here sir. Really big. Big enough to hide an secret passage to clones but–
Tim, gesturing to him to shut the fuck up: HAHAHAHA ISN'T HE FUNNY?! (whispering) ᴮᵉʳⁿᵃʳᵈ ᴵ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒᵈ.
Bernard: WhichI'mnotimplyingyoudoanyway. But– IT'S NICE. Really nice. Thanks for uh inviting. . . Me.
Bruce, glaring: Hn.
---
Bruce (to the camera): Dick told me to make a "chit-chat". Be sure that our guest felt welcomed.
---
Bruce (to Bernard): Did you gave it a thought about your internship yet? When I started medical school I had a great interest on how Gotham's Hospital deals with post mortem patients.
Bernard:
---
Bruce (to the camera): I tried to find a common ground to make conversation. We both had similar majors, even though I've drop out
Bruce: I'm glad it was enough for a good starter.
---
Bernard (to the camera horrified): He wants me dead.
---
Dick (to the camera): HOW WOULD I KNOW HE WOULD PULL UP THE SERIAL KILLER TALK??–
---
Steph (to the camera): There's something really uncanny in seen it happen to another person.
Steph: And also really fucking funny too.
---
Kory (to the camera): The first time I got there I'm pretty sure was the time he made a contingency plan for me.
Kory: Which is cute. He thinking it would work but– Yeah.
---
Barbara (to the camera): Me and Dick? Oh he stopped talking to me for several weeks.
Barbara: When he did, he said "You are making a mistake".
Barbara:
Barbara: Don't you hate when he is right?
---
Kon (to the camera): I wasn't aloud to enter the house– I when I dated Cass, so–
Kon: Not that stopped me. But it still hurts.
---
Cass (to the camera), shrugging: I liked his piercings.
---
Bernard: . . . I didn't– Yet. No sir. I'm just, huh. . . Going with the flow?
Bruce: That's unfortunate. It's really important to always have a plan.
Bernard (gulps): You think?
Bruce: Yes. You never know what might happens next.
---
Damian (to the camera): It was the best dinner I've ever attended in this house.
---
Tim (to the camera): *Loud sight* I don't know what I was expecting.
---
Jason (to the camera): Are we really just going to pass on how his boyfriend looks like a knock off Scooby-doo member?
Jason: Like he is rocking a StarStruck haircut– And we just?– Okay.
---
Dick (to the camera): I mean it's not like Bruce is doing on purpose right?
---
Bruce, grinning to the camera: Hn.
---
Duke (to the camera): Oh he's absolutely doing on purpose.
rank the kids from "would destroy the batmobile in less than 10 minutes if left alone" to "Bruce wouldn't notice for 2 weeks if you took it for a joyride"
Canonically can't drive – Cassandra
Can drive but can't operate the controls – Duke
He's 3 feet tall, that's a fender bender waiting to happen – Damian
Promptly returned it because he felt bad – Cullen
She's 13 – Carrie
Failed her driving test so many times the DMV just gave her a license so she'd stop bothering them – Stephanie
Tried to pull a quick one as an only child so as punishment he's no longer an only child – Dick
Could pilot it remotely while borrowing her neighbor's WiFi – Barbara
Made it halfway to Central City before getting a ticket – Harper
Slowly stole the parts and reassembled it somewhere else, waiting for the opportunity to pull up next to Bruce with his second secret Batmobile – Jason
Leaves it where it normally is but gaslights Bruce into thinking it's gone – Tim
Obsessed with this. It’s so true
Arguing about who is Damian's favorite brother
Jason: Dickhead doesn't count! He's basically the brat's second dad!
Damian: Actually I already have a method in place to determine which one of you wastes of space is my favorite if I'm asked.
Jason: Oh? Don't keep us in suspense then.
Damian: It's simple really. Whoever has the highest kill count at the time is my alleged favorite.
Jason: HA! Suck it losers!
Dick: No fair! I killed the Joker!
Jason: What?
Damian: And while I would normally count that as at least 10, since Father revived him-
Jason: WHAT!?
Damian: Todd, we cannot stop to explain all of the family drama everytime you find yourself out of the loop. You will simply have to unblock us and rejoin the group chat.
Tim: Yeah Jason, get your family updates like the rest of us
Damian: As I was saying, since the Joker isn't dead despite your best efforts, I've decided that your count is at 5.
Jason: So I'm your favorite?
Damian: No. Your confirmed kills are between 20-40. Unfortunately, Drake is my favorite since his confirmed kill count is in the low hundreds.
Dick: I'm sorry. Can someone please explain how my Baby Bird has a kill count at all
Tim, trying to escape through the vents: YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL ASSHOLE!!!
Damian: You swore that you didn't touch my Taj Mahal Lego set. I guess we're both liars
Here’s an idea that would make the Chat Blanc episode way creepier: Ladybug doesn’t find her corpse.
No, she finds corpses. More than a dozen of them. Each and every one of them was herself from different points in the timeline that Bunnix sent to fix the problem. Each and every one of them met their untimely demise at the hands of her corrupted partner.
The dead stares of all the petrified bodies stupefies her… leaving her wide open to a blast from Chat Blanc.
From the Burrow, Bunnix pounds her fist against the window.
Another one down…
Chat Blanc + memes from my very specific meme folder
credit for the 5th one goes to @eggrestes ur a genius
There once was a doctor named Freud
Tim: I have never read a book in its entirety. I refuse. If I never read the ending then I can create my own ending however I see fit. It's the closest I'll come to godhood
Jason: that's the dumbest-
Dick: wait I think he's onto something. Imagine giving a every book you read a happy ending
Tim: happy? Interesting I've never considered that option
Damian: so you don't know how anything ends? That explains all your poor planning
Duke: What about textbooks?
Tim: if it was important they'd tell me in the earlier chapters
Jason: so what you're saying is-
Tim: I do not know how to change the batmobile tire that was in the very back of the manual
Jason: do tell how you decided that one ended
Tim: I called the people I trusted most in the world to come help me and like a true loving family they did
Dick: awww, of course we'll help-
Damian: absolutely not. Consider this a lesson in finishing what you started
Tim: I'm not above bribery. Pick an animal. Any animal. I'll have it in the manor by sunset tomorrow
Duke: I'm actually with Damian on this one- you should learn from this
Jason: also the dog dies at the end of Marley and Me
Tim, with a monotone voice: in my version they all died
Dick, Damian, Duke, Jason: ...
Damian: *tt* I expect a giraffe in the lobby by daylight
Jason: fine I'll help too but I'm stealing the hub caps
Duke: I'll come up with a believable cover story
Dick: some things never change❤️
So this is what happened in Cat Blanc right
Phrases I bet were said on the Wayne Manor without context.
Duke *looking at Dick while he puts his coffee on the breakfast table*: So you're telling me that superman was your stepdad?
Dick: He was NOT my stepdad.
Duke: HE TOOK YOU AND BRUCE TO BOWILING!
Dick: He was being nice!
Duke: MY BROTHER IN GOTHAM THAT'S A DATE-
Alfred: Master Tim ..... Wheres your spleen?
Jason (To duke): Oh yeah shit you haven't died-and-brought-back yet- So...
Tim: Now if you beat me- It's a hate crime.
Duke (to Jason): See? this is why you died without ever having felt the touch of a woman.
Damian (to Tim): I couldn't care less if your friends are coming over for diner, Alfred the cat it's not leaving this table.
Steph (To Bruce): You just mad because I me and Tim used to make out on the Batcave
Bruce (to Tim): You what?
Damian: ... No I don't care if it's homophobic Iwill break his hand if he touches my Utena collection again.
Jason (to dick): whY IS THIS MF ALWAYS HERE?! DON'T YOU HAVE A JOB-
Tim (to Damian): Have you ever had this days where you feel like nothing
Damian (to Tim): "hAveE yOu eVeR hAd ThEsE. dAyS-" Go find someone who gives a shit.
Bruce (To 29 year old Dick): I will not ask again get out of this chandelier right now-
Bruce (To 10 year old Dick): No I cannot refund you that's not gow it works-
15 Year old Dick (To Bruce): HE'S NOT MY BROTHER ... (To Wally on his phone) Yeah I can't go today I have to watch my stupid brother.
Jason Todd (To a very very scared Bernard): Have you ever killed someone?
gotta admit, I'm impressed with their dedication to the bit
pokemon scarvio as textposts
Nino: I FIGURED OUT HOW HAWKMOTH DOES IT! He uses BOLTS!
Gabriel: (literally audibly)
AU where Plagg spells out who Ladybug is in pieces of Camembert for Adrien because of a deal he made with Adrien. Adrien enters a lifetime supply of cheese contest on Plagg’s behalf, and wins. Tikki is too impressed that Plagg spelled out Marinette’s full name without opposable thumbs to be mad.
he's the funniest person i know
emira:
edric:
amity:
hunter:
eda:
luz:
willow:
As someone with ADHD, this is such a good explanation of how awesome the neurodivergent representation is in this show
I know when people talk about representation in the Owl House, they mean the big stuff, the queerness. And yeah, Thanks to Them has a lot of that, and it was great, but there's one moment in the episode that particularly stuck with me.
THIS SCENE
THE NEURODIVERGENT REPRESENTATION
This is something I've seen people on tumblr talk about a lot. About how the school system isn't designed for everyone's brain, and it shouldn't be a measure of who is the cleverest, or who puts in the most effort, or who is the most worthy.
Luz is clever. Just not at the kind of subjects they teach. And even when she is, it comes and goes, or she can't focus and applies herself too little, or too much and just generally can't operate on the level they require from her 100 percent of the time.
The fact that they finally outright say it, the reasons she's been struggling in her own world, and point out her difference in such an obvious way makes me so happy.
Because think about it. Think about it the way you think about Amity and Luz asking each other out onscreen, or Raine's pronouns. There are children out there right now too young to voice themselves on the Internet, who sit around and watch this show.
Children who might be struggling in school, and see themselves in Luz. Children whose struggles and stories are finally being voiced, and who are being shown that it's okay to feel this way. You're just like this character here. You were built to excell somewhere else and it's okay that you are.
It's satisfying and sad. Real life children won't get to escape to the Boiling Isles, but they might see this scene, and push aside the narrative that they are a failure. That they'll never be more than the problem child.
All because of this wonderful show which voices, inspires, and represents people who have been waiting for it their whole lives.
Please don't think I'm trying to discredit the LGBTQ+ or poc or any other kind of rep in the show, I love it all, I just really wanted to talk about this side of it.
hii do you have a list of miraculous fics you think everyone should read at least once?
Anon, I have been excited to answer this request ever since I got it. What better way to celebrate my 50th Rec List (!!!!) than with my favourite fandom fics? 🎉🎉🎉
I've tried to choose fics with a variety of tones, from different fandom eras, and different authors. These fics are all special to me in some way, and whittling this list down was HARD. Others may have fics they think should be on this list, and to those people I say: make your own rec list. This one's mine. 😘
Experimental Kisses by @komorebirei
Ladybug watched him. Maybe it was guilt, maybe sympathy, maybe a streak of playfulness. Maybe the traumatic akuma experience had softened her up. Whatever the reason, a thought wafted lazily through her mind and out of her mouth. “You know… you’re right. It isn’t fair, is it?”
Chat Noir looked up.
“I remember my first kiss, but you don’t.” She hummed and tapped her chin, making a show of remembering. “It wasn’t a bad kiss, but we were in the middle of fighting an akuma, so I didn’t get to enjoy it much, either.”
Oops—that came out sounding a little, no, a lot more flirty than she had intended. Anyway, if she was going to commit to this idea, she may as well go all in.
One-shot. Ladybug offers to kiss Chat since he doesn’t remember their kiss and the way she reacts to the kiss…it lives in my mind rent-free. I have fallen asleep many a night fantasizing about what the repercussions of the kiss might look like. One of my absolute favourite Ladynoir fics.
team is a four letter word by @ladyofthenoodle
Alya didn’t want to come between Ladybug and Chat Noir. But she didn’t want to stop being Rena Rouge either. And if Chat Noir didn’t want to talk to her, then she’d need to find a different way to prove all three of them could be a team.
Her plan unintentionally brings a few secrets to light, which leads to even more secrets coming to light, which leads to… well, Alya is sure it’ll all work out eventually.
Multi-chapter. Warning, this fic is a WIP! (But there’s only one chapter to go.) Honestly, I didn’t want to have any WIPs on this list and I was lowkey hoping that it would be finished before I posted this list but I’m obsessed with this one and couldn’t leave it off. It’s literally one of the BEST fics in the entire fandom and, I think, the absolute best delving into the characterization and relationship dynamics of the core four. This fic feels so dynamic and complex, with all of the characters feelings so like themselves and each having their own distinct voices. The conflict is so well done and so realistic. It’s such a fantastic tackling of the issues that came up in the last couple seasons and I cannot rave about it enough!!
œuf ouch owie by @ominousunflower
Chat Noir enlists Rena Rouge's help to create an Aspik illusion. Absolutely nothing goes wrong.
Ladybug smiles. “I wanted to drop by and welcome Aspik. I know it must be a little intimidating, being surrounded by so many veteran heroes…so, welcome! We’re glad to have you on board.”
“I look like an egg!” Aspik announces, T-posing.
Chat turns to Rena, feeling like he has been punched in the solar plexus. What the hell? he mouths.
Rena grimaces, her eyes wide with panic. Stomach sinking, Chat remembers one of the first things he learned about the Fox Miraculous: that if Rena Rouge isn’t focused, her illusions go haywire.
Oh, no.
One-shot. This is hands down the FUNNIEST fic in the entire fandom asdfghjkl like I have read this fic at least 50 times and I still laugh out loud every single time. If you have somehow failed to read this fic before, read it now. You won’t regret it!
lucky (we're in love in every way) by @carpisuns
Chat Noir is Adrien, and Marinette is freaking out. If she manages to quiet her internal screaming, maybe she can also find the guts to tell him her identity too. And maybe they'll actually live happily ever after—well, as soon as Tikki and Plagg are done humiliating them.
One-shot. This fic just makes me so incredibly happy. Like it puts a smile on my face every single time I read it (and I have read it many, many times!) I love Marinette’s reactions and Adrien’s sweetness and the kwamis just absolutely ROASTING both of them. Marissa has written a ton of amazing fics for this fandom (seriously we are so lucky to have her) and I was tempted by others (like tell me something i don't know) but in the end, I had to follow my heart with this one.
Your Kitty by @gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights
“Such a dramatic kitty.” Marinette scratched under his chin, bringing a smile to his face and a purr to his throat.
Your kitty, he didn’t say.
Wait. What?
(The one where Chat Noir thinks he needs pats like a cat, only to find out he may have jumped to the wrong conclusion.)
One-shot. When I think of Marichat, this is THE fic I think of. Adrien being touch starved is 100% my headcanon now. This is just so sweet! Marinette’s affection and Adrien’s determination to do the right thing no matter the personal cost and the way they fell for each other without meaning to... Also I love that they both encouraged the other to go back to their original crushes because that makes so much sense!!
rattle my cage by @lnc2
In which history, despite Alya's best efforts, does not repeat itself.
One-shot. I am always here for Adrien being rash and Marinette being smart and capable and just switching to treating him as Chat absolutely seamlessly after a reveal. I absolutely love the vibes of this one.
Chasing the C/h/atwalk. by @runningoutofink
Paris. The city of lights, love and fashion. Follow the progress of Marinette Dupain Cheng as she enters the extremely competitive world of Reality television for a chance to be the winner of Project Runway: France.
Multi-chapter. It should come as no surprise by now that I’m a sucker for reality tv and this is my absolute favourite reality cross in the fandom! I love that it’s canon compliant, and frankly the idea of Marinette and Adrien as designer and model on Project Runway is friggin’ BRILLIANT. The slow burn and pining are delicious, and the identity reveal is incredibly well done! (And it has a steamy sequel, Meet me in the Middle, which is 🔥🔥🔥 and intensely satisfying after all of that build up.)
daydream by @clairelutra
you're my daydream
you know that i've been thinking about you lately
In which Adrien finds out Ladybug is Marinette, and beats the 'this is fine' dog at his own game.
One-shot. Shout-out to the author for realizing way before canon let on that Adrien is way more likely to figure out Marinette than the reverse! And then absolutely murdering us with this intense slow burn that absolutely drips with mutual pining and UST.
What Will You Do When Everyone Knows? by @sariahsue
They stepped in closer, shoulder to shoulder to catch the akuma as she landed, but she twisted in midair, landing squarely in front of Cat Noir, swiping at him. He stepped back, trying to keep his balance. Her fingertips almost touched his face, and Ladybug felt her stomach lurch.
“Duck!” she yelled to him as she whipped her yoyo around. He did, but unfortunately, the akuma woman did, too. Ladybug suddenly had no target to latch onto and lost her balance. Her stomach twisted again as she pitched forward. Black hands darted forward to catch her, but too late she realized it wasn’t her partner. Cold gloves caught her shoulder and neck, then slid up her face, brushing past her earrings. Cold. The woman’s touch froze Ladybug’s breath in her throat.
Then there was something warm around her middle. Cat Noir’s shout sounded distant as he pulled her away. As the woman’s black gloves left her face, Ladybug felt even more heat being pulled from her, along with… something else.
Multi-chapter. There really isn’t another fic in the fandom like this one. The akuma is original and provides an absolutely amazing premise for this fic. We have mystery, intrigue, and a huge upset to the status quo with the public revealing of Ladybug’s identity. I also loved the dramatic irony of Marinette being unable to understand Chat’s reactions to things that make perfect sense to us readers. It’s got amazing characterizations and suspense, and I love it!
But All I’m Seeing Is You by @chelseaapproved
After Ladybug finds out Adrien is her Chat Noir, they start dating. She didn’t think it’d be so hard to keep her identity a secret from him. She also didn’t realize how much it would affect her friendship with him as Marinette.
One-shot. This might be my favourite ladrien of all time. It’s only about 5k, but man does it ever pack in a lot of emotion and relationship development and I really, really, really love it. I really felt how much they love each other in this one and Marinette is just so, so wonderful to Adrien and he’s so wonderful to her and if you haven’t already please read this.
A Miraculous Reveal by @kasienda
Series of one-shots and drabbles all centered around The Reveal Moment. Identities will be revealed, feelings will be confessed, and secrets will be discovered through contrived situations, accidents, meddling friends, desperate moments, and moments of emotional vulnerability. Each chapter is a self contained piece. Love-square focused, but will not remain exclusive to them. Each chapter will have its own trigger warnings.
Collection of one-shots. I feel a little like I’m cheating in including a collection here, but like most of us in this fandom, I’m an absolute sucker for identity reveals, and @kasienda is especially talented at writing them! Every single one of these is beautiful, amazing and worth reading at least once.
the wonderful part of the mess that we made by heresie_irisee
They knew.
They knew, and there would be no magical reset button for the memories they'd made today. She'd have to see him at school every day, and she'd see the Chat in him, as surely as he'd see the Ladybug in her.
One-shot. Oblivio is probably my favourite episode and this is such a great alternate take on it. The mutual pining is so, so, so good! Especially love Marinette struggling to assimilate Adrien’s identities and Adrien’s obliviousness.
The following fics are amazing and absolutely worth reading, but do feature sexual content, so minors beware.
The Ladybugs and The Bees by @bullysquadess
AKA the early-fandom Ladynoir puberty fic that spiraled waaaaay out of proportion.
Multi-chapter. I’ve avoided reccing this fic for so long as it was literally the most kudosed fic in the entire fandom when I joined. However, the kudos are well-earned and I can’t make a list of must reads without including it. I love the ladynoir, the way it builds slowly, the focus on the developing relationship, both physical and otherwise, the yearning and the devotion and the vulnerability. And, of course, the steamy scenes are fantastic!! The whole thing is just so well developed and feels so grounded and real. I absolutely love it.
one night of moonlight by @mirthaculous
i’ll always think of you
inside of my private thoughts
i can imagine you
touching my private parts
2:13 ok im texting you now like i promised instead of drunktexting adrien and telling him how badly i want his cock tonight. arent you proud of me?
2:19 this is Adrien, hi.
Marinette’s brain-to-mouth filter isn’t great on the best of days. Add some beer and some misplaced texts, and things get a little more… interesting.
One-shot. Rated M. This is one of my favourite fics of all time. This is so steamy, seriously the UST is off the charts!! It is absolutely unreal how much these two want each other and the mutual pining and they’re so stupid and this fic literally killed me and I thanked it.
Laser Tag.
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Picnic