4n0r3x14 - Blog Posts

first 4na post 💀🦋

I’m on vacation for spring break rn,, and we ate so much today.

Like, a lot alot. And the good thing about it is that I burnt most of the calories off, but I’m still worried about the fast food.

I ate two pizza slices from Mellow Mushroom, a raspberry sherbet, and other stuff in the morning for breakfast. (which were poor decisions on my part)

We went hiking so that’s how I burnt it off yet with how unhealthy everything i ate was im scared when i get back home and get on the scale it’ll go back to my sw. God this is stressful.

Good luck to me baddies am ir. 💃✨

I should prob introduce myself-

Ppl call me chris so u can go with that. Dinny is fine too lol

My stats:

sw:130 cw:117 gw:113 ugw:100

height: 5’2

lets have fun together lmao

imma vent abt 4na stuff alot here bc i have no one to talk to so

oh and im new to tumblr so warn me if i break any rulers or use something like #s incorrectly

Back on board

After 2 months of binging I’ve gained 7kg and I’m back on board to start working it all off mainly because I desperately want to kill myself and I’ve seen a few recent photos of me and I’m pretty sure that if I continue I’m never going to stop

I’m back at the starting weight of 75kg

I know I’ve gained a lot in two months an you probably think it will be easier to just kill myself but I am willing to try and actually not be such a fuxking fat ass

I’m going to kill myself

I’ve got the pills and this time it will kill me

I am so sick of this fucking pain, being at the weight, the voices, the thoughts. I’m fucking over it all

I’m sick of uni, sick of people and relationships and sick of never getting the help I need

Bye everyone and I apologise for every being in your life

Was feeling really hungry today to I waited for dinner and had some squid + veggies with long grain rice (picked most of it off) + beetroot (max of 400 cals)

Also had some fruit salad which was max of (150 cals)

So I’m total I had 550 cals

Not a good day today not a good day at all!

And to top that off I relapsed on self harm after being 3 weeks clean

I’m not usually scared of liquid calories but today I had 2 McDonald’s coffee frappe (no whipped cream and no chocolate drizzle) but I’m still fuxking scared of how many calories I had today even tho I only ate 200 calories.

I’m not usually this scared of liquid cals, I avoid them where I can but I’ve got my safe drinks which is caramel latte (120 cals wit milk) and McDonald’s coffee frappe (no cream or chocolate) (400 cals) which usually make me happy and not give me a panic attack like they did today. I’ve had so many calories today it’s not funny and I’m positive I’m gonna gain weight!

I just want to throw myself of a bridge for letting myself have this many calories, it’s like I want to stay fat at this point.

I’m so over myself and I just want this to end

Ed meme dump

how many calories do you eat a day?

I fast most of the time but when I eat it’s always under 500 cals + 100 cals for my morning coffee. 🤗

I don’t recommend this as I keep losing my sight and hearing due to malnourishment which is scary but I just can’t eat.

Stay safe x

HELLO EVERYONE, I HIT MY NEXT GOAL WEIGHT OF 68kg WEIGHING IN AT 67.90kg

In 12 weeks I’ve managed to lose 9.10kg (20lbs) and 17.10kg (37.6lbs) since my high weight.

Current BMI 25.2

Next gw

65kg/143lbs

So.. I tried to off myself last week and ended up in the icu.

Egh I’ve hit a plateau and keep jumping around the 72kg mark and it’s making me want to kms

Any tips of getting out??

Tips please

Ugh I need to lose weight as quickly as possible, I’m currently on the fix it fast diet (pictured below) day 3 but I’ve barely lost anything so far.

!!!Any tips are helpful!!!

Anyways,

I have a blood test today and I am terrified of the results but also hope that it’s starting to show my hard work (yes ik that’s sick but still I want to be as sick as possible). I take so many vitamins it’s ridiculous!

Stay safe and comment tips（╹◡╹）♡

Stats - Active 7/22

I DO NOT ENCOURAGE STARVING, PURGING, PROANA OR ANYTHING THIS IS A COPING TOOL

17 - 75kg/150lbs - 164cm/5’3 - BMI 27

Goals & rewards

GW1 ~ 80kg/176lbs -🔓New shirt

78kg/171lbs -🔓

74kg/163lbs -🔓

GW2 ~70kg/154lbs - 🔓Waist beads

68kg/150lbs - 🔓

GW3 ~ 65kg/143lbs - 🔒Brandname pants

62kg/136lbs - 🔒

58kg/127lbs - 🔒

UGW~ 55kg/120lbs - 🔒Dunno yet

A little about me

Ive had an Ed since I was 8 unfortunately and it went from BED to ANA with b/p subtype since then

I fast as long as I can as eating nothing is easier than eating a little, the longest being 127 hours (6 days). Whenever I eat something I purge it regardless of it being a binge or not, I’ve been trying not to but it’s really hard to sit with the feeling.

Feel free to bully me with meanspo, sweetspo and whatever

I finally feel like everything is back under control now that I’m out of the holiday season and I am not being pressured to eat so much. I gained 3 kilos which makes me want to actually cry but I am tentatively motivated. I know I’ve failed a lot to get back into the swing of things but this time I’m building my confidence up and taking things slower this time and not immediately jumping to omäd + 1000 calz and all that stuff.

Pacing myself and trying to structure it all - results will come one day 🫶

ive been doing awful lately, everythings gone to hell, i dont know whats wrong with me, i need to stop eating entirely to get back the hang of hunger. im going to keep trying to trigger myself with my old early day stuff like tea. i miss my tapid weight loss so bad :((((( im really sad thinking about it i hate this stupid eteral hell

bro id love to fall asleep for a long time, and when i wake up ive lost a ton of weight, like a sleeping beauty

Theres a girl that i met, and shes really cool. I worry that when we meet up irl, she'll think im fat and hideous. that is more horrifying than anything i can imagine. she likes all the music i do and shes so cool, and she likes the way i say her name and shes so kind. shes awesome, but im scared to meet up. ugh