Severus Snape - Blog Posts

Severus: You read my diary?

Bellatrix: At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

Bellatrix: No, I don't want to talk about physics! I don't know anything about the laws of physics because they are hard and boring. I simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! Is that really asking too much?

Severus: Yes, as a matter of fact, it is!

Bellatrix: Well, guess what? Science is stupid bullshit!!

Severus: You take that back!!!

Bellatrix: No. Magic is awesome. Science blows. The end.

Regulus, barging in: Syphilis!

Severus:

Regulus:

Severus: Pardon?

Severus: So what’s for dinner?

Regulus: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise!

Severus: …

Severus: Is it soup?

Regulus: I soup-pose it could be! *winks*

Severus: Please, enough with the soup puns!

Regulus: Wow, you’re soup-per mean.

Severus: STOP!

*one hour later*

Severus: It’s fucking tacos?!?!?!

Severus, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.

Lily: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.

Lily: Severus, I think we have a problem.

Severus: What, the fire?

Lily: No, the- wait, what fire?

Severus: Oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting.

*******************Reversed Roles*****************

Severus: Lily, I think we have a problem.

Lily: What, the fire?

Severus: No, the- wait, what fire?

Lily: Oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting.

Severus: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.

Remus: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

Severus: That one. I want that one.

Sirius: Are we fighting or flirting?

Severs: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-

Sirius: Your point?

Sirius: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives.

Severus: I wake up at 4:30 AM every day to brew.

Sirius: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives.

Severus: James and I are no longer dating.

James: Severus, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

James: I think we should kiss.

Severus: And I think you should die but we don’t always get what we want.

Severus: Wow, Remus, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Remus: We literally slept together yesterday.

Severus: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Narcissa: Do you think you’d actually notice if someone didn’t cast a shadow? Or if their limbs were just slightly too long? Or if they had just a little too many teeth? like how many times have you passed Something on the street and you just didn’t Notice It?

Severus: Stay woke monsterfuckers ur love is out there!!!!!

Narcissa: Yknow what? Not my point at all in any way whatsoever, but I’m glad I could be an inspiration.

Narcissa: Severus...

Severus: Oh no, 'Severus' in b-flat.

Severus: You're disappointed.

Severus: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Lucius: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?

Severus: No! Four to five seconds!

Lucius: Too late!!!

Severus: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

Lily: You need to stop.

Severus: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why.

Lily: Only if you also don't ask why

Lily: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.

Severus:

Lily:

Severus: This one is fine

Severus: Lily! My face is on fire!

Lily: Severus! Are you ok?!

Severus: Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly.

Lily: But your face is on fire.

Severus: Yes. It's much faster than shaving.

Severus: Fool me once, I’m gonna kill you

Important!!

I was wondering should I make it so they have more children than just harry? Like in Harry's timeline sev is either pregnant with teddy or he just had teddy? If some of you have played Hogwarts mystery then you about Chiara should she be one of their kids? Id make her the eldest because Hogwarts mystery timeline is during Harry's baby years. She would also be sev and moony's bio baby like how harry is sev and James's bio baby but then I think what about Sirius? He didn't have any children that I could make his and sev's so should I keep the Hogwarts mystery theme going and make Merula their child? Or do 'jacobs sibling' and have a y/n child? Harry is going to be the main child because he's the only one that traveled back in time, if I do that they'll have 4 kids Chiara (sev and moony's), Merula or y/n (sev and Sirius') (they'd probably be a year apart or maybe twins) harry (sev and James') and than teddy (sev and Remus') . Thoughts? I was thinking about it because I while writing,I thought about harry just randomly saying "*random sibling* would like this or they like that" and shocking them that they had more then just harry and so each have their own kid with sev (not that they love the other ones any less) let me know what you all think!

OK nvm-- I think severus use they/them pronouns in the prompts because of the generated prompts used they/them

Sorry your ask disappeared for me but I finally found, yes the generator uses they/them but I think in the quotes and some side stories (bc I think of them in modern au) Severus will use he/they but in my main story I'll keep it he/him just so it's a little easier for me while I'm writing

*LITTLE SNEAK PEAK OF UPCOMING CHAPTER*

Please note that there will most likely be changes, also I'd like you all to give me suggestions on things you'd like differently or ships or friends things like that even little things I'd like to know what I could or should change or incorporate I just want to make this story even better for you all, HAVE A GOOD MORNING/DAY/EVENING/NIGHT AND MAKE SURE TO DRINK SOME WATER EAT SOMETHING DOESN'T MATTER HOW LITTLE SO LONG AS YOU TRY TO EAT LOVE YOU ALL 💙💙💙💙

3rd person POV

"Mama psst psssst! Mama! " harry 'whispered', someone should really teach this kid how to whisper, to Severus Snape, Severus look'd down at Harry Potter a four year old boy who was situated on his lap "yes harry?" Severus quietly asked the boy "when are we going to make potions? I'm booored" harry whined, Remus watched with a smile "well today we are just taking notes and researching" Severus' answer caused Harry to huff and pout "here how about you draw something for us Harry" Remus say handing Harry a piece of parchment, harry gleefully takes the parchment and grabs Severus' quill from his inkpot

"Don't worry I'll take notes for you sev-uh Snape" Remus flashed him a smile, Severus decided not to tell Remus he already knows everything about this potion and just nodded his head before turning back to watch Harry, "*gasp* you can't see yet mama!" Harry tried hiding his drawing with his arms Severus huffed a laugh "alright I won't look" he said adverting his eyes to professor slughorn "piiinky prrooomise?" Harry squinted up at him "pinky promise" Severus glanced at harry and smiled lifting his pinky to harry, harry giggled and linked his pinky with Severus' before uncovering his drawing and continuing.

"Pinky promise?" Remus hums with a faint smile "..." Remus sighs as his smile fell 'him and his stupid sad kicked puppy eye's' severus thought "my mother and I did them when I was younger and then when I met Lilly she made me pinky promise her..." severus mumbles Remus smile wide "thank you" "hm? What for?" Severus tilts his head "for telling me" Remus answers "it was hardly important or anything" Severus says "still a pinky promise seems important to you and you seem happy harry does it so thank you for letting have this bit of information" Remus gives Severus soft eyes with a light smile, severus feel his cheeks start to heat up and quickly turns his back to slughorn and Remus returns to his note taking.

A few minutes later Harry declares he's done, Severus turns "am I allowed to see now?" He asks "hmmm" Harry pretends to think tapping his chin before giggling "I'm just kidding! Of course mama can look!" Harry lifts the parchment for Severus to see

Chapter 3

so I finally posted chapter 3 of Severus Snape, Harry Potter, and The Annoying Gryffindors. I think it is better than what I did for chapter 2 and we finally get some Lily action!

Chapter 2 of Severus Snape, harry Potter and the annoying gryffindor's is almost done I'm just having a bit of writers block right now. Lmao it took me a week and some to make the first chapter

Head Canons for the Slytherins in a little band

I imagine narcissa on the drums, sev as the singer, Lucius as lead guitar, Bellatrix as rhythm guitar (and when it's not need she does the keyboard) and Regulus as base. Also lily is their manager.

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They switch around if need.

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The others sometime sing a song and several other does small parts, when that happens

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Severus never play the drums, he doesn't like to play them and he's not that good at it

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The girls and Severus write the songs while reg and Lucius give suggestions (like what it could or should be about)

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The tend to write and sing about how they feel or things they experienced, a few songs they made just for fun like a joke a nice break from pouring their emotions out

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The name of their band is 'death eaters' (does it sound better as 'the death eaters' or give suggestions)

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If the song is about someone and don't want that person, they make sure the lyrics don't directly point that person out.though sometimes they don't care and decide to taunt that person in the song

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Some songs just one member writes and will make sure the others like it before they completely finish it (the others ALWAYS like it)

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They love each other like family and each of them have written a song for/about one another

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Because Severus usually doesn't have an instrument Lucius likes making up dances for Severus to do

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If sev is feeling extra he'll jump and dance on some of the tables, especially if the song is about someone, then he'll jump on that persons table and make sure to point that person out.

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Their outfits sorta match and always has something representing Slytherin

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Sev puts his hair up sometimes, he always has some in the front out so he still has a curtain of hair to hide behind

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Narcissa and Bellatrix are usually the ones to sing along with sev

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I'll post what I imagine their outfits looking like

I'm sorry but my mother took the laptop (where I do the writing) we have only the one and it's easiest for me to write on there, so I'm sorry for those who were waiting for chapter two of Severus Snape,Harry Potter and the annoying Gryffindors but you'll have to wait a little longer.

I'm going to post head canons of my Severus, Bellatrix, Narcissa, Regulus and Lucius band idea, I'm thinking of naming their band death eaters or the death eaters(for obvious reasons) let me know what you think and I'm sorry again.

Alright! Chapter one is done and up! The title is 'Severus Snape, Harry Potter and the annoying gryffindor's' (I couldn't think of a good title) anyway here's the link (please give me feedback)

Y'all remember that post of me wanting a sev x marauders baby harry time travel au? Yeah I'm making that shit now it's gonna be on ao3 I've already got most of chapter one done. It's set in their 4th year so shit's salvageable, I might make other fic's tied to it like a before and after, I really wanna make the playlist into fic's so I'll be adding that.

¿Would anyone read it?

Y'all remember that post of me wanting a sev x marauders baby harry time travel au? Yeah I'm making that shit now it's gonna be on ao3 I've already got most of chapter one done. It's set in their 4th year so shit's salvageable, I might make other fic's tied to it like a before and after, I really wanna make the playlist into fic's so I'll be adding that.

¿Would anyone read it?

Some bitch really said 'tHaT's LiKe SaYiNg YoU lIkE tEd BuNdY'-🤡🤡🤡 bro WTF

Y'all- this fucking toxicity 🤡✋

Hold up there's more

Y'all- this fucking toxicity 🤡✋

Hold up there's more