Superman - Blog Posts

Man, sometimes I read a fic where their version of Superman is so flat he couldn't even cause a papercut and the favored characters are all "Superman is the type of person who always thinks he's doing the right thing" and "Superman doesn't accept criticism" and "Superman is a bumbling farm boy hick stupid head" and "the Justice League is a bunch of elitist hacks and their club is only to hype themselves up because narcissism".

And I gotta. Like. Okay? That's a take, I guess. That's an opinion. It always takes me out of the story though, because it's presented as a known fact of the world of the fic despite little to no indication of those truths being reflected in the rest of the fic. It's a weird whiplash and it always leaves me almost ravenously curious as to what influenced this perception.

Sometimes it's explained as an unreliable narrator, sometimes an author's note will shrug off responsibility with "someone has to be the asshole lol", and sometimes it seems to be really and truly genuine and that is fascinating to me. I want to know the why's. I want to take them for coffee and listen to their perspectives. I want to understand.

One of my favorite Batman and Superman team up comics has a pre-jl storyline where they don't trust each other just yet. And because they don't trust each other, they both leap to save the life of a criminal being thrown out a window - they can't be sure the other won't just let this awful person die "accidentally". And because they were both distracted by that, an innocent hostage ran into the street in a panic and was struck and killed by a truck.

It was such a needless death. It was so bullshit and pointless. Both Superman and Batman recognized the need for trust, the need to let themselves be known enough, vulnerable enough, to not have this happen again.

And can y'all imagine how both their stories might have changed if future writers, canon and fanfic alike, kept that character growth in mind?

Hey, I want to share my brainrot.

Broke: Superman is actually a bad person who doesn't love his bi son Kon because he thinks the kid is going to be a future villain.

Woke: Superman is understandably standoffish to his nonconsensually created clone made to replace him when he was dead. Superman didn't step up when and how he should have - that doesn't mean he didn't have character growth and learn to love Kon, even if he have the kids a name that is a Kryptonian slur.

Bespoke: Superman would LOVE to get to know and mentor this new guy, but whenever he looks at the kid his lizard hindbrain registers DANGER and it freaks him out. He doesn't know why, there's just something intensely Uncanny Valley about Kon. Clark has never understood humans talking about creepy dolls or being afraid of mannequins until now and he doesn't know how to process it? He doesn't even know how to explain it because everyone around him is acting like Kon is perfectly normal and fine and safe and Superman's the asshole for never engaging with him.

Human scientists fucking around with alien DNA made it so that Kon is permanently sending out Aggression in subtle, Kryptonian-only ways. By scent or sub-vocalizations, or posture, or some other alien subconscious way, Kon is both peacefully hanging out with his friends and at the same time indicating that he's about to murder them. Neither Kon or Clark know this! Clark unlearned most of these instincts when he was being raised as human and is used to the people around him not hearing/seeing/tasting/smelling quite right. Until there's this guy here, serving these VIBES.

(about the slur name. Consider that Nightwing is Superman's dear friend and nephew. Consider that he calls himself Dick. Imagine if Clark named Kon "Kon" as a way to honor Dick and like, it's his genuine belief that future Kryptonian speakers will think of Kon as a name first and a slur second, because this person is going to be so amazing)

Ok but what if I wrote Scribblenauts unmasked fanfiction, what then

I've also seen that study. Apparently, Super-spunk would be the equivalent of a shotgun shot and would blow right through the top of Lois's skull! Definitely don't forget something like that anytime soon

Ok so remember that argument about Top!Clark Vs. Top!Bruce?

Well I’ve been thinking more about it and you know what I’ve come up with?

They both shouldn’t have sex with each other. Like ever.

Here’s my reasoning.

Top!Clark & Bottom!Bruce

Clark could easily break Bruce’s pelvis/jaw/any other limb that is being used by simply forgetting to be careful (which is kind of easy when you’re going at it. Even love making has its moments.)

Bruce is impatient and likes things his way. So if he wants Clark to go harder or faster or deeper, Clark doesn’t want to disappoint. But what Clark does may feel different on both ends. Bruce might feel like Clark is going too hard, too fast, and too deep but to Clark that’s what Bruce asked. And so they would be battling back and forth about what they want and need.

If Clark has to be careful during everything he does, I really doubt he’s enjoying it like he’s suppose to. Imagine wanting to smack dat ass but you don’t get the satisfaction of really hitting it while your partner is complaining you hit too hard even though you didn’t even try?

Again with the different feelings, maybe Clark is going the right speed for Bruce but Clark may be feeling nothing on his side. He has super senses but the feeling he’s suppose to get during sex needs to be higher than what he feels on a daily basis. (Ex: Feeling a soft item might feel amazing to someone who doesn’t have Clark’s powers but to Clark it’s just that feeling)

If Clark can blow away a building without straining a single vein, who says his spunk ain’t gonna do some damage to Bruce if it’s still inside him, even with Latex wrapped around?

Top!Bruce & Bottom!Clark

Bruce isn’t as strong or as fast so his 100% may feel like his 25% to Clark. Having super senses doesn’t mean everything is super sensed. It just means you feel things differently. He really needs something to jar him to feel that full effect of sex.

doES HE HAVE A PROSTATE?! WHAT SAYS HE EVEN HAS THE SAME HUMAN MALE REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM AND EROTIC ZONES!??!

Super butt meets Human dick. That shit gonna get broken into two or get squeezed off.

Clark’s sex drive might be far beyond Bruce’s. Bruce might not be able to satisfy Clark the way he should without knowing it.

What if Clark is riding Bruce? And Clark slams a little too hard?? And Bruce is in agony over his dick but Clark doesn’t realize it because he’s in dick heaven???

Conclusion

They shouldn’t fuck each other but should find other ways of pleasuring each other that doesn’t include penetration.

Here’s some other activities they could do!

Really detailed massages

Oral

Lots and lots of kissing and mouthing

Dirty Talking

Dry humping (Intense cuddling)

Really detailed care (This is more of a kink than anything but I find it hot)

Near by masturbation

These two really shouldn’t fuck. Like ever. Too dangerous and not satisfy.

I don’t want to be the person to tell Babs Tarr that her cover for Batman/Superman: World’s Finest #16 isn’t the gayest comic cover to ever be made.

i'm over 2 weeks late but happy 20th anniversary to the Most Important comic book cover of all time. here is my homage

I made a thing….

Or having his parents outright disowning him for his sexuality

one thing i do crave is a gay little comic with hartley going to tim and jon, being like “your coming out could always be worse, i told wally i was gay and he ran down a building,” while wally runs in like “that was years ago and i apologised,” this is my one request, dc

outside of you finally confirming connor hawke is gay

The horror on J'onn's face is incredible.

I LOVE CAPTAIN MARVEL SO MUCH ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I finally found a way to draw him in a way I like so I can now shit post with Billy! He's so silly! If anyone has any suggestions for little memes with the Captain, then please send them my way, I'd love to have more to draw.

I would love to see Marvel in MAWS, he would be so fun.

The idea for this comic is from here and by @billymarvel !!!

and here’s a bonus!

I love the trope where when characters have a double life they know others who are apart of both lives but neither of them are aware of this. cough cough billy and clark. I mean they are both reporters/involved with newspapers so i’m surprised they don’t have there secret identities interact more

Listen, if I had the time I would just make Justice Leauge the mockumentary, lol.

Do you ever forget you have superpowers? Kon does often.

It’s still a sweet gesture.

You have no idea the demons I fought to not turn this little comic angsty. I might still do it, I haven’t decided yet.

The big three (Can y’all tell I couldn’t come up with any cool ideas for Superman’s suit?)

Bruce: Why pouting?

Clark: You had a kid and you didn't tell me.

Bruce: I had plenty of kids. You need to be more specific.

Clark: You had a kid of your own, and you didn't tell me.

Bruce: Are you making differences between bio kids and adopted kids? 'Cause I have some big news for you, alien boy.

Clark: You had a son with Talia al Ghul.

Bruce: Listen, it was an accident-

Clark: Are you telling me you just happened to get Talia al Ghul pregnant?

Bruce: You knocked up Lois!

Clark: We were engaged? She's not my arch-enemy?? I didn't keep it from you???

Bruce: Hey, cut me some slacks! I was a bit shocked! I mean, how would you react if you found out to have a secret child with Lex Luthor?!

Clark: *nervous laugh*

Bruce: ???

Clark: What an odd choice of words...

(BRB gonna use this dialogue in my Superbat WIP)

I like to think naturally he’s far sighted but in an alien way super-vision way. So without his glasses he can scope out the city from the sky and do Superman work really well. But at a desk job? Noticing all those minuscule details like the chips in your mug, the graphite dust as you write, the colors and molecules humans can’t see must be exhausting. Like adhd issues but with super-vision.

So his glasses dull that down enough to let him focus on his writing work. Just makes things blurry enough to be at a human level.

Alternate universe where Clark Kent really does need his glasses and every time he goes Superman he’s risking it all

I'm not aware how they come to know each other's true id

Lois: Listen Clark, I know for a fact some of the things you own can't come from a reporter's salary

Clark (didn't know how expensive some of the gifts he received were) : Well-

Lois: And I've noticed you get requested for Wayne interviews more often than you should and always right as Mr. Wayne goes on vacation

Clark (thought their excuse of "interviewing Bruce" when they had an off-world mission was genius) : Um-

Lois: Look I don't mind if you're his sugar baby or whatever. You do what you gotta do and if our home appliances conveniently get replaced right as they start showing wear and tear that'll be that

Clark (has regularly broken those appliances by mistake using his powers and replaced them with his JL collateral property damage allowance) : I'm not-

Lois: You're not disappearing to go spend time with Mr. Wayne? Or the money and gifts don't come from him?

Clark (remembering what will happen if he lets Batman's identity slip) : No, I am... And they do... You're right...

Nah bc why would Lois say that

I love this because while we see Bruce hug his gf or kids quite a bit, that's always in a delicate way. To comfort them in an all encompassing soft hug.

This is clearly for himself. To ground himself with a bone crushingly tight hug that most people would find uncomfortable. To be enveloped in someone's embrace. To be held for once. To be able to fully stop supporting yourself and know you won't fall. To feel safe.

a moment of (weakness) comfort

Saw this comment on a post about Superman. Felt the need to share the pain.

Lois: Clark and I have decided that god forbid should anything horrible happen to us, we would like Bruce to be Jon's legal guardian.

Bruce*going over to pick Jon up*: That is great news! Did you hear that Jon? When something horrible happens you're going to be all mine!

Clark: It really is an if situation...

Bruce: All mine!

Concept: an episode of the Justice League cartoon where the MCs get sucked into a 90s teen movie… powers get reset to when they were that age.

Bruce doesn’t get enough credit for not caring about what others think AND being quick on his feet in every situation.

Imagine a gala where Lex Luthor has somehow tracked down who he thinks is Superman’s secret identity to one of the attendees, who he’s going to unearth by playing some high level frequency that only Kryptonians can hear (and hurts to be near).

Bruce clocks the device somehow during the initial schmoozing, turns on his (drunken) heel to (not so drunkenly) look for Clark, and drags Clark out by the lapels into the service hallway just in time to pin said Kryptonian to a wall and growl sorry under his breath.

Lex activates the device and the noise immobilizes Clark in pain. He’s crying real tears, eyes clenched shut, hands coming up to try and block out the frequency.

Bruce pushes his hands down, presses him back into the wall and kisses him. Hard. Almost hard enough to distract him. Salacious enough that anyone walking by would immediately avert their eyes.

Bruce’s hands cup Clark’s face, hiding the tears. He pins Clark’s hands between their chests so he can’t reach for his ears. To anyone who looks closely, Clark’s screwed up expression is from being kissed breathless by no other than Brucie Wayne himself.

Lex Luthor slips by, eyes sharp and looking for Superman. He passes them with a curled up lip and a distracted nod. The noise shuts off after a few minutes, unable to be sustained for long periods of time.

Bruce pulls back. Clark collapses forward into him, foreheads knocking together as the pain in his head begins to dull and the tears on his face start to dry. Weak and shivery, leaning on Bruce more than he ever has before.

“Okay?” Bruce asks quietly, instead of saying you’re welcome or that was closer than I’d like or even I’m sorry again.

Clark stares back at him, keenly aware of just how close that had been. And just how red Bruce’s lips are, suddenly.

Batboys with their sometimes-disappeared in Speedforce/ blown up at Sanctuary/ died after beating the shit out of Superboy-Prime/ imprisoned by a twisted version of his dad/ killed after losing a fcking global vote-besties

clark, unsubtly: soooooo what did you think of superman? :) lois: he’s a LIAR clark, who was being 100% honest with her:

i’m having thoughts

He’s so!

I LOVE THEM

Reasons to watch Justice League Action

Joker, voiced by Mark Hamill, and Trickster, also voiced by Mark Hamill, kidnap Mark Hamill (also voiced by Mark Hamill).

A giant cat attacks (long story). Everyone is struggling with it, and Batman just casually uses a laser pointer to distract it. Did I mention the laser pointer beam was bat-shaped?

Batman attempts to be the “good cop” and Superman attempts to be the “bad cop” when they interrogate Deadshot. As you can imagine, Batman offering coffee and a chocolate doughnut is absolutely terrifying.

Villains fear Batman and heroes are afraid to mess up in front of him, but he still has some really sweet moments.

Batman knows what a videogame called “Boulevard Brawler 2” is because “Robin plays it all the time on the batcomputer.”

Same episode, Batman’s trapped in the game and Toyman uses Wonder Woman to beat the hell out of him. Batman is lying on the ground, likely in pain, and he just glares at Toyman and says “Robin’s better [at playing the game].” This man is so proud of everything his children do.

Same episode, we get a peek into the Batcave. Along with some other costumes there is a Robin one, likely Jason’s (*cri*), which means the aforementioned Robin is Tim.

We get to see Batman on his first case (wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey), in which he watches his past self try and fail to use a grappling hook.

The Joker is such an icon in this. In most media I despise him (mostly the character, not the characterization) (except for in Suicide Squad, no more of that characterization please), but in JLA he’s hysterical. Goes to the watchtower to genuinely appreciate a tour.

Martian Man Hunter, turning to Batman after making a pun: [It was] my attempt at humor. How did I do?

Batman, deadpan: I’m the wrong one to ask.

Djinn, with a creepy and triumphant grin: I am Uthool!

Batman, ready to fight: I don’t care.

Zatanna, to Batman: Don’t underestimate yourself. Little secret: when goblins want to scare themselves, they tell Batman stories.

Green Arrow, to Batman: *sigh* I know it’s generous, but we’re both in the billionaire masked vigilante “making the world a better place game,” so I figure—

Batman: *ejects him from the batmobile*

Solomon Grundy: That’s how servants treat their king!

Batman, with narrowed eyes: You’ll forgive me if I don’t curtsy.

Superman: *briefly loses his powers, breaks his leg*

Batman, with absolutely no sympathy: Hurts, doesn’t it?

“I…. AM…. BATMAN!”

Wonder Woman. Just Wonder Woman being an absolute icon.

Booster gold wearing this:

And there are so many more hilarious interactions like this. If I had a week this post would be longer than the “color of the sky” post.

Island Retreat

Some JL members get stranded on an island.

Marvel: “I caught couple rats and a rabbit.” *holding the rats by their tails and the rabbit by its legs*

GA: “Ooh nice. I got a deer. Can I have a rat or two? They taste like stringy chicken.”

Marvel: “Sure!”

WW: “I brought back a bear.” *points behind her to a bear*

GA and Marvel: “Woah, Wondy you’re the best!”

The reason Marvel didn’t get anything bigger was because as Billy, he’s used to catching rats and pidgins so he stuck to what he was used to. GA just was just hunting, and Wonder is just Wonder. Now, of course as Marvel, he could’ve catch bigger things. This was utilized when Arthur, Diana, and him made a challenge of hunting and ran around trying to hunt the most. Diana won with a warthog, three deer, a rabbit, and a snake.

So, here’s the squad: Marvel, Green Arrow, Wonder Woman, and Aquaman.

They turned this into a vacation guys. They’re playing beach ball with a makeshift ball. They’re using the radio they’re supposed to be using to radio for help, for music. They’re chilling.

Aquaman: *stops paying attention to their beach ball game and doesn’t even notice as it smacks into his head as he’s looking to the water*

GA: “Dude…? Why’d you throw our game? Now we’re behind those two.” *looks to where Arthur’s looking*

Marvel and WW: *also look over to the water*

*silence*

Dolphin: *suddenly pops up out of nowhere tugging a crate with him*

Aquaman: “Oh my god…” *rushes over*

GA, Marvel, WW: *confused*

Aquaman: *opens crate* “Alcohol!”

All of them were later chilling on the beach, drinking cocktails of their choices…

GA: “The is the life…”

Aquaman: *Agreed. It’s nice to have a couple days away from Atlantis and being a hero. Speaking of which, Cap, I’m honestly surprised you’re so chill about this.”

Marvel: “Whatcha mean?”

GA: “Dude, you never take breaks.”

Marvel: “Wha? Of course I do.”

WW: “Brother, the other day I heard Bruce discussing with Clark about the fact that out of the six years you’ve been on the team, you’ve never once asked for some kind of leave.”

GA: “Wait really??”

Marvel: *silence* “I don’t see how it’s a bad thing.”

Aquaman: “It is a bad thing, pal. That’s not normal. You don’t have any family you need to visit or spend time with?”

Marvel: “No, not really. Junior and Mary are in the hero bizz so we spend a lot of time together already. Then, as for you guys, I see you almost every day since I go to the Watchtower a lot.”

GA: *gasp* “You consider us family?” *sounds touched*

Marvel: “Yes? Is that bad?” *sounds self conscious*

Aquaman: “Not at all. I for one am happy to be apart of your family.” *sounds proud*

WW: “As am I. I’m happy we’re siblings, brother.”

When the four were finally found, they got scolded by Bats and Supes.

Batman and Supes: *standing side by side*

Batman: *bat-glaring them all*

Supes: “What is wrong with you?! You can’t just shipwreck and then not contact us! Why didn’t you use the emergency radio?!”

GA: “There was an emergency radio?”

Supes: “Yes!”

Marvel: *whispers to Arthur in Atlantean* “Is he talking about the radio we used to play music?”

Aquaman: *whispers back in Atlantean* “I think so.”

Supes: “What’re you two saying?”

Marvel and Aquaman: *simultaneously, and in English* “Nothing.”

Supes: *starts ranting again*

WW: *whispers in Greek* “What were you guys saying?”

Marvel: *also switches to Greek* “The radio. We think it was the one we used to play music.”

Supes: “Guys! I can still hear you!”

Marvel: “Sorry Mr. Superman.”

WW: “Apologies, Clark.”

Supes: *starts ranting again*

GA: *in Italian* “What were you guys talking about?”

Marvel: *in Italian* “Remember the radio? We think that was the SOS radio.”

Supes: “GUYS. Stop whispering in languages we don’t understand—”

Batman: “I understood two out of those three.”

Supes: “—In languages I don’t understand!” *looks to Bruce*

Batman: “They weren’t using the SOS radio to signal for help.”

Aquaman: “We were using it for music.”

GA: “Arthur! You snitch!”

Aquaman: “What? They were gonna find out anyways.”

Supes: “Why were you guys playing music???”

WW: “We had what one would call a vacay.”

Supes: *takes a deep breath* “Okay. Marvel, go sit over there.” *points to a couple feet away from the other three*

Marvel: “What? Why?”

Supes: “Because you speak to many languages! Now go.”

Marvel: *pitifully walks over there*

Supes: “Now, back to what I was saying.” *starts ranting again*

These were the first pics I ever did of Brainy back when I started watching the first season. I was very taken with the idea of him and Superman using sticky notes for emotive purposes