I Wish I Could Have A Life With You. But I Am Frail And Dying. Im Slowly Killing Myself. Youre The Only

i’m a sick, sick man, aren’t i.

sick for wanting the duality of life itself, sick for wanting you. sick for wanting you at your worst, the screaming and manipulation and threat. sick for wanting you at your best, even if your best is feral and violent and obsessive.

i will bow before your alter, for forever, if it means i get to be near you for forever.

i want him at the red crescent-moon-shaped indents that bubble up blood as i beg and plead and cry, and i want him at the soft, soothing, big brown eyes as we both gently whisper murmurings of forgiveness.

i am but a sick man.

we can't both be miserable. give us a smile.

– ✘

who says i’m miserable? that’s just silliness!

:D

i’m so deeply curious about this anon…

small world, huh, captain? 'm sure you could connect the dots. use that pretty head of yers.

...looks like you've picked up after yourself these days. wonder if you're still as easy as you used to be.

– ✘

easy? what ever do you mean? “picked up after myself”? connect the dots?

oh, now i’m more curious then ever.

My day was good! Especially since you’ve been responding to me so much, makes me all giggly like a little kid.

-🌀

i’m glad your day has gone well. i do wish you’d dm me, i’m quite curious to know who you are.

What did I do to make myself genuinely unlikable

don’t you know that I’M the only one who can satisfy you in this way? the only one who could quench that deep, growing need to take control? the only one you let close, the only one you let lie in your bed at night?

i’m the only one.

Im sorry for disapearing.. You guessed right and i got scared.. Im sorry if my cowardice is disapointment, Im spineless, pathetic, and weak.. If it bothers you, I can leave you alone.. -⛓

who said it bothers me?

i’m still not sure which system from, so you still have that anonymity. you’re safe, dear.

i dislike cowards, yes. but that doesn’t mean you’ve disappointed me. you are not spineless, pathetic, or weak.

do tell, though. why scares?

won’t you love me in the most vile way possible? . . . won’t you hurt me in the most saccharine way possible?

the want to reveal myself vs. the anxiety that you will be disappointed to find out who i am. fight/ref (i might be getting in my head about it again) -⛓

well, don’t go getting too deep in your head, now.

i won’t be disappointed, i promise.

idek, some sort of vent.

god, i wonder what i look like in your mind. it surely won’t match up to me, right?

this body is not me. and i hate looking in the mirror and seeing that.

i don’t have a fucking cunt, of all things. i don’t have tits. i don’t have sinewy arms and soft hands.

the person in the mirror is not me.

will you still like me, even if i don’t match up to your expectations?