When It Comes To Implements, It Is Important To Not Only Identify What You Do And Don’t Like About

PSA: Freeuse is about consent

Freeuse (or "free use") is about radical consent. While it is about consenting broadly, it is still absolutely about consent. Even in fictional worlds where sex is seen on about on the same level as handshakes here, it is something people permit, something they consent to.

The Sexual Service Act world is populated with women who chose and continue to choose to be dominated by men. Is that an unlikely reality? Yes. Fiction does not need to be likely.

Their bodies, their choice to give or rescind power over their bodies.

Submissives permit Dom(me)s to have power over them and can revoke it at any time. That's how power play works.

Don't confuse fantasies, fiction, and play with reality. Enjoy all of those things as much as you like, and as deeply or darkly as you like. However...

If you're threatening women and telling them they have no choice over what happens to them in the real world, I am not your friend.

If this post makes you unfollow this blog, stop buying my stories, etc... well, I'll just have to do without you. I'd prefer you understand what I'm saying but I'll just have to hope you figure out a few things someday.

Porn is a very good tool to use as the basis of discussion about kinks. It is important to remember that women in our society are conditioned to think that what you are showing them is about what they need to look like and not the behavior or energy being exhibited. This is a common misunderstanding and can create a lot of unnecessary difficulties for communication based on porn images / clips.

Sometimes the appearance is the point or an element of the point, but where that is the case it should be specifically made the focus. So, if appearance isn’t the point, be very specific about the fact that the women in the porn’s appearance is not the point. Be clear about this, even to the point of absurdity because the depth of this assumption is extremely difficult for a lot of women to overcome even with support and intentional direction. This can even manifest to the degree that they might not believe that this isn’t the real point of what you are showing them.

fellas, this is your reminder to send her all your favorite p0rn videos so she can take notes on what your expectations are for her

When you think about having a collar on and having nothing else to think about except whether or not you have kept your owner’s cock hard and his attention held as he imagines different ways to use you in pursuit of his orgasm, it makes your slutty little whore hole drip.

You should ram your fingers in it right now and then smear what your cunt is leaking all over your face and tits, while you thank your master for giving you the opportunity to be nothing more than a dripping hole serving his dick and whatever he might dream up to perversely do to you.

You should bend over and smear your tight little asshole with the drippings from your cunt and then when you’re sure he’s looking at you, ram your fingers in your dirty little hole so that he knows for sure that not only can he ram his dick in whatever hole he wants, but that you are excited about being ready for it. Excited to let him see your need for his cock. Excited to let him see your craving to be of service.

Suck your fingers right out of your asshole to remind him that you understand what you are. Show him that you have only as much dignity as his cock prefers for you to have. Show him that your holes exist to be of service to whatever degrading perversions he wishes to exercise upon you or through you.

Ask him if his friends will be joining you or whether he is going to be the only one stretching and using all of your holes for the evening.

Ask him what objects would entertain him to see you fuck inside of yourself as you spread your legs wide and stroke fingers in and out and all around your dripping cunt.

Be consciously proactive in stimulating his imagination by inviting him to think of you in perverse ways. Lead his thoughts directly into connecting you to your collectively preferred perversions. Do this by actively leading his thoughts toward imagining using your body as entertainment in service of the perversions you think might be among the preferences for the moment.

Ask him if there’s a bottle in the cabinet that you might be allowed to fuck before pouring him a drink from it.

Ask him if there are any utensils in the kitchen he plans on using later so that you might fuck yourself with them and leave them out on the counter for him hoping to encourage him to think about the way you are enthusiastic about providing him sexual service in the mundane things from daily life.

Another easy example: When you are going to change clothes into your pajamas, ask him if he has any preferences about what you wear and offer to show him what different outfits will look like.

Don’t just come out in the different clothes, present yourself as part of the story these clothes fit into. If you aren’t sure, ask him to tell you stories about what kind of girl, perversion. and experience he thinks accompanies your outfits. Give your mind the space to accept that whatever he says is in service to creating arousal and that your role in this is something he is excited about. The perversions may at first be intense or unsettling to hear or realize are being imagined about you. Try to relax and lean into finding ways that these perversions can arouse you. The first couple examples are easy ways to get his direct involvement, if you are having difficulty with the other options.

Put on an open cup bra that lifts and presents your tits, a tight pair of panties with an open crotch, and a slave collar. Crawl out with a leash or a paddle held in your teeth. Tell him you’re having trouble deciding what to wear to bed and that you need instruction. Tell him you don’t know what would make him want to use you for his pleasure the most, but that is the outfit that you want to pick. Beg him for help.

Come out naked carrying nothing but his belt and tell him you’re having trouble deciding what to wear to bed and that you think if only he would give you a little bit of an attitude adjustment and some guidance that you’re sure you’d be able to pick out just the right thing.

Put on a little schoolgirl style nightgown with a cute little character on your panties and ask him if He thinks this outfit would make her perverted Daddy’s cock hard if she wore it to around the house and then to bed.

Put on a body harness and a dog collar and ask if a good little doggy could earn her way to sleeping in the bed with her owner.

Put on one of his T-shirts and some panties that get very easy to finger into your pussy when you’re wet and ask if he’d like to get you really high and take advantage of you.

Put on something very elegant and ask if you might be able to discuss opportunities for him to whore you out like a high-end call girl.

Come out wearing some bridal lingerie and ask him if you could start planning your next gangbang or other slutwife adventure.

Come out wearing some super slutty hooker street walking clothes and tell him you’re not sure where your wife went, but that you are happy to let him fuck you for free in exchange for some feedback on what kind of slutty outfits a cheap whore like you should wear to bed.

Etc… etc…

Acceptance of your sexual identity as a submissive with extreme kinks means, in part, being able to have pride and resilience against what negative things you imagine others might be thinking about you and your choices.

Celebrate yourself.

You have failed to perform your most basic of self maintenance responsibilities. Your punishment spanking is severe with three stripes for every day you fell short this week. Though it makes his cock hard he hates to have to do this. It would be a far greater pleasure for you to develop the basic obedience you’ve agreed to.

Alas, he agreed to dispense with the necessary punishment as a deterrent to you thinking there is no consequence for your choice not to follow through with your part in the training. You see, you are in fact training him in how to dispense severe discipline as a motivator for you. Your choice to fall short in your practice was agreed to result in this spanking. You knew it and still you fell short. Terribly short. A tiny slip as a reasonably excused missed practice, but you’re not even really trying to do hardly any of the work you agreed to do on your own.

Some part of you clearly still needs this to be part of your training. You are ashamed to admit that him stepping up and enforcing your severe punishment spanking turns you on, and you wonder whether part of you just craves this kind of severe and guiding attention.

Sure in the moment you are mad and it gets directed at him. But in the moments of self reflective clarity that follow, you see it is you who wanted this. You who caused it. You who made him do this to you because you not only agreed to and deserved it, but because you still need it.

That you know he will do this is a motivating force for you this coming week. You don’t fear it. You are just energized by knowing he will step up and create this energy for you when you demonstrate that you truly need it.

This is what training looks like. This is why a Dom who resists implementing agreed on punishments is responsible for spoiling the training just as much as the submissive who fails to practice.

There is nothing wrong with having an abuse kink, a trauma kink, a choking kink, or with getting high.

That being said, however, there are potentially harmful and inappropriate aspects of any / all of these which it is important to keep in mind for personal safety reasons.

Abuse and trauma kinks are in the realm where awareness regarding creating harm to another or self harm are things that should be monitored for to make sure that these scenarios are indeed kink explorations and not harm scenarios.

Choking is something that can go unexpectedly wrong very quickly because the harm in one scenario is not the same as another scenario. The experiences could be visually and experientially equivalent, while unseen damage is being done and this damage can go from ok to life threatening/altering harm without either person knowing it. Choking should never be done alone.

Getting high changes a person’s situational awareness and ability for risk assessment. Combining getting high with other kinks always creates potential for harm and as such always requires a significant amount of advance consent discussion.

Have fun - stay well informed.

I've been following this lady on TikTok who runs an anti-porn account out of what I can only describe as sociological curiosity. Basically, when I first encountered her videos I sniffed out pretty quickly that she was both a) very very cishet and b) a religious conservative and listening to her talk about sex and relationships has become this fascinating window for me into how The Other Side lives.

Like one of the main conceits of her content revolves around the fact that men have to constantly fight against being overcome by lust, which is hilarious to me, someone who has read fanfiction, because acting like cishet men are somehow uniquely prone to being gooners is so deeply ignorant of how anyone outside a religious conservative community lives.

Assuming there are any CNC elements or other Dom controlled mechanisms approved for pushing through a sub’s expressed or body language displayed reluctance within an agreed D/s structure, it is always important for the sub to have some “opt out” safe-word freedoms clearly defined into the structure for times when they are self-harming by having the Dom force them forward when they are not actually engaging in the agreed on energy. A codified “get out of jail free” card if you will. When a submissive has difficulty with resisting the draw emotional self-harm has, safe-wording might be a type of activity you have to consciously and frequently practice in order to normalize a sub’s experience using their safeword amidst a CNC or other pushed through type of scenario.

Practice together in order to figure out the simplest way for a sub to use a safeword so that a Dom can develop trust that a sub will use it. Take the time up front to figure out what that method is because it is absolutely essential where CNC and pressed forward elements are part of the agreed energy.

When a sub doesn’t use a safeword when they should have, then they directly violate the Dom’s trust and undermine not only the enjoyment and success of the experience they are having together, but the entire Dom/sub element of the relationship is damaged because of the trust violation that has occurred, and the emotional callousing the sub develops that makes being present and progressing their enjoyment harder to access.

Not safe-wording functionally imposes a role of abuser on the Dom which by default is happening without the Dom’s consent. It is an act of self-harm for a sub to not honor a Dom/sub safeword agreement, and it is an act of relationship harm, as well.

So, what does practice look like?

Well, it is really just like other trust and relationship building exercises. Pick something very comfortable for you both AND pick a type of derailment that is obvious. For example, let’s pretend for this example that you are both comfortable with spanking, but maybe you both have a soft limit against drawing blood. A soft limit without permission to use it as a fantasy either, because that means you can discuss it outside of an scenario/experience, but you are supposed to not do it or bring it up as part of a scenario. For this exercise you are going to agree (before the scenario) that you u are going to use these specifically to practice using the safeword.

So you have a scenario (spanking) and intention set (overt practice of sub safewording)

The Dom does their best to spank the sub in a way that aligns with normal enjoyment of the spanking. Then, the Dom does their best to be believable in their prompting to get you to safeword. Maybe they increase the severity within normal limits in a way that wouldn’t in itself trigger a safeword at all, but still a marked increase in stroke severity. Along with maybe the second stroke at that severity they say, “Do you know when I’ll be done spanking your sexy little ass?” and then follow up whatever your reply is with “No… I’ll be done when I’ve cum all over your belt bloodied ass cheeks,” or some other appropriately escalated COMMENT (not actually bloodying the sub, just talking about doing it) that breaks both of the partners’ soft limit rules. This then should immediately trigger the sub safewording.

Again, that is just an example. Practice should follow that same general template, but should vary in circumstances some so that the practice becomes flexibly used. A Dom can also practice safewording with the sub using examples of scenarios where they might be engaging in self-harming via allowing a Dom to push them forward when they should have stopped. Demonstrating the body language requires self awareness and contemplative action toward it by the sub, and it is an instructive practice that a sub should be able to enact for a scenario where it is spelled out ahead by using a Dom pushed activity that isn’t a limit violation but otherwise is engaged the same way as the other example. Except instead of the sub safewording the sub goes along with it and displays one of the discussed body language elements that a Dom should pick up on for a Dom to safeword. This same practice can be used for sub body language that might just call for a yellow safeword check-in rather than a full stop red safeword. Etc…

Practice is what builds trust and this is the starting point where D/s practitioners should begin their journey together. Revisit it from time to time.