Aaa-bdsm-instruction - A Collection Of Instructive Thoughts

I’m not going to name the original author of this as I don’t know them personally and feel like calling them out is not necessary. Very often these kinds of posts are just poorly wrought fantasy scenarios where advance consent for a consensual non-consent experience and I see no need to hash that when the point I am making doesn’t require devolving along that irrelevant and argumentative line of discussion.

I am going to rebut the content because it is essential that we remember that BDSM on Tumblr is not a closed and in-community space.

The original post:

My rebuttal:

I am lately trying to give the benefit of the doubt to people who post things like this and assume they are just presenting a fantasy scenario they have a kink for, however this sort of content is important to not just leave floating in the world framed as a legitimate example of any sort of BDSM practice.

People can of course choose to fantasize about rape dynamics all they want, but it is important to occasionally remind people that Tumblr is a public facing space (not an in-community space) and it is never appropriate to publicly pretend to educate people (the original blog name suggests they are a blog for informing people on BDSM topics) by using scenarios where safewords are not allowed or where they will be ignored and not respected.

Submissives deserve more representation for their role and the rights and responsibilities they have in exploring the depths of their role.

This original post is not informative as BDSM training other than as it serves to be an example to subs in how to identify fake dominants.

The use of demanding and colorful phrasing is of course good in trying to trigger a sub’s fantasy-based sexual energy and then to manipulate a triggered sub into falsely believing that if they participate they are then ultimately at fault for the subsequent rape and abuse that is inflicted by the fake Doms who actually think this is a valid BDSM experience.

100% of the originally stated experience can be completely manifest and explored within a responsible framework where the sub has the power to stop the experience with a safeword.

If a Dom requires there be no safeword then they simply and irrefutably lack the skill and competency to function as a Dominant are instead of developing those basic skills they are choosing to harm subs while shifting the blame for that harm onto the sub.

How and why is this true?

A Dominant is a person who guides the submissive into and through experiences the Dominant thinks the submissive needs to have in pursuit of whatever training goals have been mutually agreed to in advance. (This can, of course, include having CNC experiences.)

All of this occurs while the sub is safe and properly cared for so that they are not inadvertently subjected to emotional or physical abuse and trauma that leaves them less whole at the end of their experience more whole (or at the very least on a mutually agreed path to being more whole), which is the only way any BDSM scenario should ever end. Anything else is not part of the BDSM community and is emotionally and/or physically abusive.

The safeword provides the submissive a constant state of awareness that they retain the power to make any experience pause/redirect or stop entirely.

Keeping that power in the submissive’s hands is the mechanism by which the Dominant navigates the sub through their needed experiences. Breaking through a sub’s unwanted boundaries and obstacles is done by working inside the boundaries until the Dominant helps the sub release or cross the boundary willingly.

Even where the suspension of disbelief is so strong they feel they cannot use their safeword, the sub still has a safeword they can use and if there are ever any signs of harm should be checked on by the Dominant before moving forward.

It is a Dominant’s responsibility to check in when a boundary is being dismantled to make sure the submissive wants to continue to experience that boundary’s dissolution. The sub has the power to stop moving forward, but the Dominant has guided them to a point where they can successfully break down the obstacle.

That is what being a Dominant actually looks like and that is why real BDSM Dominance is always 100% safeword dependent.

The safeword is THE SINGLE TOOL that makes a BDSM scenario capable of progressing through a submissive’s chosen challengeable / changeable boundaries responsibly. It is, of course, a given that they will have boundaries that cannot be challenged or changed and the Dominant must not approach those off limits boundaries.

Any “Dominant” who says otherwise is just an abuser with poorly developed interpersonal skills who cannot actually guide a submissive into and through a BDSM experience. They are just someone who wants to get off abusing someone while being able to blame them if it doesn’t go how the sub wanted or needed it to go.

These facts are not open to debate or discussion.

Work on a list of names that appeal to him for you to be called by him, his friends, your friends, and yourself.

Names to call it

Abuse whore Asslicker Bitch Bloody stinking mess Bootlicker Braindead set of warm holes Cocksocket Cocktrough Cockwhore Cumdump Cumrag Cunt Cuntface Cuntslime Dogfucker Dumb animal Dumbass Entertainment for Men Filthy pig Fleshlight Fuckface Fuckhole Fuckmeat Fuckpig Fucktoy Fucktunnel Garbage Gutterslime Living toilet paper Pathetic idiot Pig Pissmop Prey Property Punching bag Rapemeat Retard Shit-for-brains Skank Slut Spitbucket Stupid bitch Torturemeat Trash Ugly gash Urinal Useless lump of flesh Wet-pussy bimbo Whore Worthless piece of shit Breeding mare Spittoon Hormone monkey Tit clown Sewer Waste-of-space Fuckservice Spermcontainer Shit bag Humiliation toy Cock sheath Entertainment unit Clit clown Fleshlight

Addendums if you want to make verbal abuse more verbal: …with a pulse …with a breath …on two legs …aka female …formerly known as <its name here>

The key here, is to choose the path you want your arousal driven adventures to take, and to then enthusiastically practice what you need to practice in order to bring that life into reality.

Edging with the proper focus, and purpose for practice is an essential part of this.

Be a good girl.

Identify what you want your life to be like.

Use consistency in edging and a goal oriented practice to help yourself manifest it.

If you’re ashamed of your kinks, you just aren’t horny and desperate enough to accept that you’re better off as a complete degenerate. More edging will solve that. Agree and obey.

The first step is accepting that you need training.

The next step is asking someone that you think might be willing to train you for them to put the time and effort in to provide you their training.

The next step is to discuss all of the elements of what training would include and negotiating together so that the greatest chances of success and fulfillment from training become possible.

Then, you will have to work together in order to create and fine-tune a practice that reflects both of your needs, goals, and enjoyment.

Then you will have to do the work. Both of you. Training takes time and energy and focus to create appropriate systems and practices. Being trained takes time and energy and focus to put the effort in that is required in order for the practice to become effective in helping you reach your goals.

Regular discussion about how things went in past experiences and sessions is essential to fine-tuning future practices.

Training is as much an art, as it is a practice, and the only way for the art aspect of it to blossom is to be sincere and give it access to your heart. Dedication to practice can, through sincerity, open the heart to true enjoyment and artistry, and it is OK for that to be the pathway.

Fyi. A woman can

love daddys dick.

Love to be spanked.

Love choking on dick.

Love being a babygirl.

And still hate men that try to take her rights away. Hate men that degrade them and think of them a property. Hate men that think women are just breeding cows and should just cook clean and raise kids. . Don't call me names. Don't spit on me. Don't degrade me and don't take away my rights to my body.

If you have a problem with this just go to someone else's blog. Don't try and debate me. I am just a woman with daddy issues living in a world that is trying to hold me down

When you think about having a collar on and having nothing else to think about except whether or not you have kept your owner’s cock hard and his attention held as he imagines different ways to use you in pursuit of his orgasm, it makes your slutty little whore hole drip.

You should ram your fingers in it right now and then smear what your cunt is leaking all over your face and tits, while you thank your master for giving you the opportunity to be nothing more than a dripping hole serving his dick and whatever he might dream up to perversely do to you.

You should bend over and smear your tight little asshole with the drippings from your cunt and then when you’re sure he’s looking at you, ram your fingers in your dirty little hole so that he knows for sure that not only can he ram his dick in whatever hole he wants, but that you are excited about being ready for it. Excited to let him see your need for his cock. Excited to let him see your craving to be of service.

Suck your fingers right out of your asshole to remind him that you understand what you are. Show him that you have only as much dignity as his cock prefers for you to have. Show him that your holes exist to be of service to whatever degrading perversions he wishes to exercise upon you or through you.

Ask him if his friends will be joining you or whether he is going to be the only one stretching and using all of your holes for the evening.

Ask him what objects would entertain him to see you fuck inside of yourself as you spread your legs wide and stroke fingers in and out and all around your dripping cunt.

Be consciously proactive in stimulating his imagination by inviting him to think of you in perverse ways. Lead his thoughts directly into connecting you to your collectively preferred perversions. Do this by actively leading his thoughts toward imagining using your body as entertainment in service of the perversions you think might be among the preferences for the moment.

Ask him if there’s a bottle in the cabinet that you might be allowed to fuck before pouring him a drink from it.

Ask him if there are any utensils in the kitchen he plans on using later so that you might fuck yourself with them and leave them out on the counter for him hoping to encourage him to think about the way you are enthusiastic about providing him sexual service in the mundane things from daily life.

Another easy example: When you are going to change clothes into your pajamas, ask him if he has any preferences about what you wear and offer to show him what different outfits will look like.

Don’t just come out in the different clothes, present yourself as part of the story these clothes fit into. If you aren’t sure, ask him to tell you stories about what kind of girl, perversion. and experience he thinks accompanies your outfits. Give your mind the space to accept that whatever he says is in service to creating arousal and that your role in this is something he is excited about. The perversions may at first be intense or unsettling to hear or realize are being imagined about you. Try to relax and lean into finding ways that these perversions can arouse you. The first couple examples are easy ways to get his direct involvement, if you are having difficulty with the other options.

Put on an open cup bra that lifts and presents your tits, a tight pair of panties with an open crotch, and a slave collar. Crawl out with a leash or a paddle held in your teeth. Tell him you’re having trouble deciding what to wear to bed and that you need instruction. Tell him you don’t know what would make him want to use you for his pleasure the most, but that is the outfit that you want to pick. Beg him for help.

Come out naked carrying nothing but his belt and tell him you’re having trouble deciding what to wear to bed and that you think if only he would give you a little bit of an attitude adjustment and some guidance that you’re sure you’d be able to pick out just the right thing.

Put on a little schoolgirl style nightgown with a cute little character on your panties and ask him if He thinks this outfit would make her perverted Daddy’s cock hard if she wore it to around the house and then to bed.

Put on a body harness and a dog collar and ask if a good little doggy could earn her way to sleeping in the bed with her owner.

Put on one of his T-shirts and some panties that get very easy to finger into your pussy when you’re wet and ask if he’d like to get you really high and take advantage of you.

Put on something very elegant and ask if you might be able to discuss opportunities for him to whore you out like a high-end call girl.

Come out wearing some bridal lingerie and ask him if you could start planning your next gangbang or other slutwife adventure.

Come out wearing some super slutty hooker street walking clothes and tell him you’re not sure where your wife went, but that you are happy to let him fuck you for free in exchange for some feedback on what kind of slutty outfits a cheap whore like you should wear to bed.

Etc… etc…

Only idiots and abusers fail to support feminism.

Idiots because they fail to understand it and abusers because they’re too incompetent to actually earn a woman’s trust.

Feminism is THE one and only mechanism by which actual submission is possible. When you argue against this fact you reveal very clearly whether you are an idiot or an abuser, or (as is oftentimes the case) both.

Let me make this perfectly clear

Am I deep down a feminist who just has kinky fantasies? 

NO! 

I reject that shit completely.  

Equality is an absurd lie.  Women should only worry about supporting and pleasing Men.  

Our job is to cook, clean, lick, suck, suffer and bear children.  We will lick your ass and drink your piss, but PLEASE do not try to treat us as equals!  

Ladies, who is with me on this? 

Your headspace is your responsibility, but what does that mean?

Practice accessing and identifying your subspace pathways on your own and…

Communicate how that access can be supported so you can…

Practice accessing them with your partner.

Deepen and prolong your experiences in subspace through solo practice, communication, and more time spent working together.

I love non-sexual signs of submission as much I love sexual ones.

Kneel for me, moan for me, beg to cum. After all, you look gorgeous on your knees pleading.

But also lay your head on my lap while we watch something, wear my clothes out, perform little acts of service just to show me how much you care.

After all, my claim over you isn’t just in the bedroom, so why should your services to me end there?

Always good to see the good old instructions are still circulating