Would Be Fascinating To Know How Giving Up Almost Every Day Has Affected My Brain Chemistry

Gonna fast till Thursday noon. Right now it's only almost at hour 10, but gotta push thru it.

What video games do you like? Is chocolate the best or THE BEST? What music do you like?

Ooo only game I play is minecraft absolutely love it even when the updates are mid asf, somehow still not bored to death after 11 years. Idk if that counts cause I'm not into the games, but I really like fnaf lore just like it's own.

Hot chocolate is soo good, but only at like cafés or gas stations. I can't make a good one at home lol. Chocolate itself is a hit or miss for me, but rather delicious ofcofc.

This is such a bad answer, but I don't have a certain genre I like the most (not too knowledgeable abt niche genres anyways). I like the basics, kpop, lana del ray, mitski, boy genius the cranberries etc. But my playlist are mostly bunch of random songs I've found.

I feel as if ill never be able to escape my food addiction. I feel prisoned for eternity. I don't want to live like this, but its part of my whole being. It has fuzed itself into every fiber of me. The only way to escape it is to kill myself.

Ohhh 😔

I long for a aub💖💖

Seeing him makes my head hurt with desire. I don't know why, but I want to bleed on him, tie him to me in way that he can't erase from his mind. I hate that a part of me even wants him to cut me. Him gently caressing the area before, holding my hand with his other hand, whispering sweet and reassuring words whilst quickly wounding me so I could taint him with my blood. After I'd just wanna lay with him, no words would be needed, I'd just wish to admire his skin painted with my blood.

If he ain't like this I don't want him /hj

Treat me like your toy, I’m made solely for your pleasure, be so very selfish with me, be greedy, be greedy, be so very greedy.

Just returned from an 5 hours walk. Every sounds makes me want to hurt myself. My parents just existing next room is torture. I wish to binge or blow my brains out, preferably both. Sadly I can't do either.

I wish they stopped talking, but I also feel so quilty that them just existing makes me so irritated and triggered. I wish I couldn't hear or feel anything at the moment.

I cant do this anymore, I just wish I could die. I will never be able to be happy in this body, I'll never be able to be something, never be able to be a normal functional person. My body is my biggest enemy, I'm my biggest enemy. And I wanna kill it, I wanna kill it so bad.

I wish there was a way for me to get interact with him. For me to even talk to him once. I have so little knowledge, so little perception of him in actuality, but my mind keeps thinking about him. So it's always just craving more to think about.

It's so weird feeling that you have a lot of love to give, but feeling as if you have no one to give that specific love to. Yes I have loved ones that that love me, that I keep living for really. But it's no the same.

And at the same time my mind just yearns to have someone to obsess over.