I Can Get So Much Worse Im Not Anywhere Near My Limit

tw long ana rant

i’m so pissed off rveruday is a battle to convince myself that i need help, that i’m not a wannarexic, that my body is normal maybe a little skinny, that it’s not abt what i eat but how i think but i can’t fucking believe ANYTHING

i can’t thr0w up to save my life i can’t relate when ppl say “i could never eat all that” bc ik damn well i could. i could eat that entire plate and still be hungry for seconds. for desert.

no matter how many times i remind myself i’m literally -ving, that i’m weak and knee-deep into this ed i can’t believe it

bc i don’t look sick enough. no one can tell i’m fucked up except for my friends who probably know by now. only they know i refuse to eat yet the second i break my fast i’ll gorge on anything near me.

not all of my bones are showing yet, only the normal ones that every skinny person alr has.

no matter how many hours i’ve fasted i’ve never fainted once. sure, maybe i’ve come close to that at times but that still means no one will ever know bc they’ve never seen me do it.

every time i come into school it’s the same bullshit every. single. day i’m so tired of it

i see thinspo in all of my classes and they all wish they weren’t skinny, talking abt how they wish they looked healthier or smth

“i skipped breakfast this morning bc i forgot/wasn’t hungry”, “stop i eat sooo much idk how i’m so skinny!”, “we’re such big backs for eating chips”

SHUT UPPP

who the hell loses their appetite when they’re stressed. who loses their appetite at ALL and why does it never happen to me whether i’m binging or -ving???

when i move out i’m gonna have a big fridge full of nothing

body positivity activists when you’re shaped somewhere in between thin and average

Petra Collins’ high school aesthetic photography changed my brain chemistry

i often wonder who ik irl on here like does that really th1n girl that complimented my hair when she rung me up at the grocery store have an 3dblr? is she on 3dtwt? does she know why im only buying tictacs and gum?

I went grocery shopping with my dad and stepmom today and all I could think about was what I’m going to buy when I’m older

idk why i run to the mirror every time i go to the bathroom thinking im gonna get the bc of the century

Paz de la Huerta and her paintings

its so simple but i cant take it seriously

men are so hot, I wish they were also good people.

Once you have an 3d it’s like everyone decides to be skinny or am I just noticing more?😭