Bart: Muttering Interlac Curses Under His Breath

Any good dad bruce hcs?

everything I’ve ever written is good dad bruce and I don’t believe in anything else and I will die on the hill of good dad Bruce

bruce has skipped multiple justice league meetings because his kids asked him to stay home

he carries like jolly ranchers and starburst and candy like that in his utility belt because when dick was a kid be used to beg bruce to get him ice cream on every patrol and this was the best way bruce could find to get him to stop asking

When Jason was Robin, they made it a habit of going to every home game the Gotham Knights had whether it was Bruce and Jason eating hot dogs in the stands at the baseball stadium or Batman and Robin watching the field, hidden somewhere where they’ve got a perfect view

I think because of my dad I just associate dads with Star Trek now but like... Bruce watches Star Trek with his kids. Tim’s the only one who watched more than just the original series with him

Bruce had an exact replica made of his mother’s iconic pearl necklace (you know the one) and gave it to Cass for her birthday one year and she absolutely treasures it

Damian isn’t the most extroverted person and neither is Bruce so most of their interactions are just sitting in the room together (this also goes for Tim and Cass with these two) but a lot of times when Bruce is working from home Damian will sit in his office and draw and every so often if Bruce is on a zoom call for work he tends to mute his mic so he can just chat with Damian about whatever he’s drawing and all that

Also: Bruce and Damian tend to walk Ace and Titus together every morning. Sometimes Jason comes too to walk Ace instead of Bruce, but Bruce is always there

It has occurred to me that my Instagram is probably the one place on the internet with the most gathered photos of Bart Allen. 373 posts, all of Bart, mostly his comic form but also fanart all credited- I swear I’m not obsessed, I just really love his character.

*In the middle of a briefing*

Batman: Our target is a man by the name of Percy Dunn, he's the gangs runner and will be the most likely lead to the main operation.

Bart: Percy Dunn? The Lightning Thief.

Tim: That's Percy Jackson, Bart.

DC groupchats as my favourite Homestuck quotes #2

Thad: Ever hear of Guy Fieri?

Bart: No? I don't think so.

Thad: How unfortunate for you.

Thad: He was an especially degenerate piece of filth.

Thad: He used his connections and guile to wriggle his way into fame, and other positions of power.

Thad: He somehow landed on the U.S. supreme court. Over the years, other Justices started mysteriously disappearing without means to replace them.

Thad: After helping rewrite the constitution to form an incomprehensible patchwork of fascism, theocratic mandates, recipes, and bad rap lyrics, he weaseled his way up the ranks to become the High Captain of Interstellar War.

Thad: I'm going to cut to the chase, cause really this doesn't need to be a full History lesson. Especially with your attention span.

Thad: He eventually came to be regarded as the third and final antichrist.

Thad: No human in history was responsible for as much pain and suffering.

Bart: Is that why REACH attacked our planet? Guy Fieri, High Captain of Interstellar War?

Thad: Yes.

Bart: ;-;

___________________________________________________________

-Kaldur joined the chat-

-Batman joined the chat-

Wally: Mom?

Dick: Mom?

Kaldur: Wait, If you're mom

Kaldur: and IM mom

Kaldur: Then who's flying this plane??

Wally: I change my mind, I want a new mom.

___________________________________________________________

Jay: Hello Tim

Tim: Hey Jay

Tim: How's the best brother in the world doing today?

Jay: Best brother in the world, hmm?

Tim: Of course, who else could I mean?

Jay: What is it you want from me?

Tim: You know what I want, Jay

Jay: Money? Affection? For me to write your essays?

Tim: its all I've ever wanted from you

Tim: *he leans in close to him and gently strokes his face*

Tim: *whispers* I want my fucking coffee back.

I love the idea of Bart integrating himself into the batfam, but totally under the radar of Tim.

Bart likes hanging out with Tim from the comics, as he’s stated on multiple occasions. So I can imagine he visits the manor too when he gets the chance. Thing is, Tim isn’t usually there either so that leaves Bart with the decision “go home and be bored or find a new victim”… Find a new victim it is.

One day Tim and Bart go to the manor together after an exceptionally long mission and Tim just missed his friend so he invites him over.

Clue #1 Tim picks up on, Alfred greets them at the door and says hello to Bart fondly, Bart even calling him “Alfie”.

Clue #2, if Dick is around he cheerfully waves at them both and gives Bart a small noogie. Not too out of the ordinary, Nightwing assists the titans- their team, so they know each other.

Clue #3, and Tim is now sus as Hell about the situation, Jason and Bart have just cracked some crazy, elaborate inside joke they share and are laughing about it hysterically. Tim is in shock at his elder brothers mirth.

Clue #4, Tim is about to put everyone under interrogation lights because this is just too weird. Damian snaps something rude at Tim, and Bart laughs with an arm flung around the demons shoulder asking if he’s seen the latest chopstick cat video.

At this point, he thought he couldn’t get more surprised, but then Clue #5 walks in. Bruce shows up and looks at Bart saying “Back so soon?” In that teasing dad voice only the batkids hear and Tim is just in awe.

Steph and Cass come in soon after and Bart’s babbling on about the next “girls night” and Tim just wants to either drown in coffee or pass out for the next 80 years, or at least until the next apocalypse.

All in all, Bart in the Batfam plz.

Rant ahead: Bart and the Rogues Gallery.

Why is it that every speedster has some sort of relationship with the rogues except for the one that it actually would make sense if he had one. Are you seriously telling me Bart Henry Allen-Thawne II has NO correlation to them at ALL, but Wally and Barry do???

I get Barry ‘believes’ in them or whatever, but that doesn’t mean they’re automatic buddies. He has major trust issues and doesn’t even like turning his back around them!

And Wally? Wally has this weird thing against villains, no matter how small the crime. I mean, he broke up a friendship that he had for YEARS with Hartley Rathaway because Pied Piper went off book for a mission that was for A GOOD CAUSE.

Bart Allen’s half brother Owen is in the rogues. His twin clone is in the rogues. Digger knew his mother, and I’m sure he’d want to know more about her. He’s an outcasted flashfam member that needs a home because every family he’s been put into disappeared or died. First Max and then Jay, then the Titans disbanded. He doesn’t belong to any timeline, never met his father, abandoned by his mother so he wouldn’t be kidnapped by science cops, sent by his own evil Grandpa! That sounds like just about any other rogue sob story. And yet he has no connection to them. AT ALL. Which is just… Mind boggling!

And the one issue he gets with them, the rogues KILL him?? Which is totally out of character for them because one of their main rules is NO KILLING FLASHES. With time and character development, I’m sure Thad will come around and Bart will give him a chance, no matter how skeptical he is, because it’s what Max wanted for them and that was Bart’s goddamn dad, so help me! And Bart really doesn’t mind the whole villain thing either; he’s held casual conversation with the JOKER. Are you kidding me??

Do y’all understand how upsetting this is, or am I the only one???

a most beloved scammer ❤️

Tim: Alright, I hope you all payed attention to my presentation. Bart, how can you tell that one is a compulsive liar?

Bart: Assuming that their pants aren't on fire.

Tim: Bart, this is serious.

Bart: I'm being completely serious.

Destiel Christmas

Sam: *puts tinsel on Dean*

Sam: Making you a Christmas tree...

Dean: What? Why?!

Sam: Because the angel tops. *smirks and continues putting tinsel on him*

Cas: *spits out drink* WHAT?!

(literally thought about this a few minutes ago)

IDFK

Imagine an abortion company where the slogan is "we dont shoot the babies into you, we shoot the babies already there"