Pure Crack Dadzawa And Izuku

No one :

Izuku : I will become friends with everyone. That's a threat.

Everyone at UA :... Alright buddy!

a little something inspired by my dad coming home drunk as shit from his work night out but as aizawa and izuku!

(also hello I'm not dead)

aizawa drunk as fuck coming home at midnight: hellos family.

izuku : omg your drunk?!

aizawa: no I'm dad.

izuku :... that isn't what I meant?

aizawa : what are you saying.

izuku :... how much did you drink??

aizawa : yellow. *passes out*

izuku :... this answers nothing.

some crack idea with the ofa vestiges and izuku +some aizawa

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izuku calmly talking to the vestiges in the living room fo the dorms : and then he said

yoichi : wait I head something....

Hikage Shinomori : yeah... nine hold on for a second

Daigoro Banjo :OMG WHO CARES I WANNA HEAR THE REST.

En :...its a person... who'd be up at 3am?

aizawa who's hiding behind the wall confused as fuck : what the fuck

izuku without missing a beat : aizawa sensei.

aizawa panicked even more because what in the fuck is going on : WHAT THE FUCK

aizawa and izuku quotes part 5!

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Izuku , to aizawa: How do you tell someone politely you want to hit them with a brick?

aizawa : i dont even... what?

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izuku walking into class late covered in dirt and blood holing a shovel : hi I got buried alive!

aizawa looking in shock : what? WHO?

izuku : shigaraki!

aizawa : is... is he alive still?

izuku : dunno! I hit him with the shovel on my way back!

aizawa pale : oh okay... uh... go clean up I guess?

izuku smiling : okay see ya!

class 1-a : wtf?

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aizawa grading papers in the teachers lounge : FUCK PROBLEM CHILD!

izuku somehow popping uo behind him to all the teacher shock : what up?

aizawa : read this and tell me if you understand

izuku : naw fam that shit wack.

aizawa : mhm okay good thanks bye

the teachers : wtf was that?

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izuku laying in the snow face first : death is coming

aizawa standing next to him :... okay

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sleep deprived izuku qoutes part 1?

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izuku who hasn't slept in almost a week sitting in the floor in training after being knocked on his ass while the teachers and class ask him if he's okay:

aizawa : You good midoriya? can you hear me kid?

izuku : the sand is killing me.

everyone pale faster then before :

midnight : w-what?

izuku glaring at the sand : bitch ass mother fucker.

aizawa : okay you need a nap.

izuku glaring at aizawa now : go fuck yourself overgrown butterfly!

aizawa pale and a little bit shocked : I-.... what the fuck!

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midnight trying to get all the juice gossip out of izuku while he works in homework in the teachers lounge : So, midoriya , do you have a crush on anyone?

Izuku not even looking up from his work : The only crush I have is this crushing anxiety.

midnight in shock : oh... oh wow..

aizawa nodding : mood.

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aizawa, texting: O

Izuku : What?

aizawa: Don’t read into that.

Izuku : But I will read into that.

aizawa: HOW?! IT’S A LETTER!

Izuku : Why is there a space after it, hmmmmm?

aizawa: Dude, really?

aizawa: It’s a fucking letter.

Izuku : It could stand for something!

aizawa: IT DOESN’T, I PROMISE!

Izuku : Like Oppression! Or worse…

aizawa: kid, I just typed the letter O, that means nothing. :/

Izuku : Optometrist.

aizawa: Oh my God…

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aizawa and izuku who are on an mission sharing a cheep rent apartment for a night while izuku hasn't slept in 4 days and is feeling good

aizawa, texting: Izuku , will you please go to sleep?

Izuku , texting back: What makes you think you didn’t just wake me up?

aizawa, yelling: I CAN HEAR YOU CLAPPING TO THE FRIENDS THEME EVERY TWENTY MINUTES SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!

aizawa, texting: Just a hunch :) You goin’ to sleep soon?

Izuku , texting: I’m trying

aizawa, yelling again: TRY HARDER I HAVE A 5:45 AM MEETING TOMORROW BITCH

aizawa, texting: Okay, don’t stay up too late or you’ll be cranky.

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aizawa: What's two plus two?

Izuku half asleep at his desk : Math.

aizawa: ...I will accept that answer...

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izuku and aizawa qoutes part 8

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aizawa holding a bottle: is this whiskey or perfume?

izuku chugs entire bottle:..

izuku : It’s perfume.

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izuku : Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

aizawa : I think you mean cards.

izuku , pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not

aizawa pale : what the fuck kid?

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izuku : English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

aizawa : You need to stop.

mic laughing his ass off : I THOUGHT YOU THAT ONE!

izuku smug as fuck : yes you did.

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izuku texting the heros and students chat :

brokenbones: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao

sleepingbag : What did you do.

brokenbones : A MISTAKE.

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izuku watching aizawa break into his father's house : This is such a bad idea.

aizawa : Then why are you coming along?

izuku : One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

aizawa with manic grin : hmm.... okay good enough!

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Izuku' cracking bones' midoriya : and so I was standing there scared child on my back and he was like brugh! And so I detroit smashed him so much he kinda just went belgh

All of class 1-a that wasn't at the raid :... YOU KILLED HIM?

Izuku 'I will murder for kids' midoriya : twas a logical rush.

The heros that were there for it and saw the aftermath :... Eraser your kid is fucking insane.

Eraser ' I will kill for theys kids' head : haha yep. My problem child

No one not a soul :

Izuku walking past bakugo whispering : I'm gonna rip your hands off.

Bakugo :... WHAT THE FUCK NERD?

Izuku acting all innocent : huh? I didn't say anything are you okay kachan?

Bakugo slightly scared : NO WTF DID YOU JUST SAY?!

izuku : nothing? Are you okay did you hit your head too hard during training?

No one says anything for a good few seconds before izuku smiles everyone thinks it's his normal smile but to bakugo its his "no one will ever believe you bitch" smile

izuku and aizawa qoutes part 7!!

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izuku drugged up in the hospital : hehe

aizawa sitting in a chair next to him : what you laughing at bud?

izuku giggling : the lady in the corner!

aizawa now pale looking at the corner :wha... WHAT LADY IN THE CORNER?! AINT NO FUCKINF LADY IN HERE!

Nana Shimura : UGH rude! wtf man!

izuku giggling : ikr nans! so rude

aizawa pale :IZUKU WHAT FUCKING LADY? WHO YOH TALKING TO?!

izuku : da shush! your gonna wake the TV up!

aizawa done as fuck : I can't with you.

izuku : me too!

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izuku sleep deprived and running on 3 hours of sleep and coffee for the last 2 weeks staring at present mic :

the teachers : you good bruh? is he good aizawa?

aizawa : nope.

izuku : is your hair like that because you wanna be taller or because your a pussy?

aizawa spitting out his coffee laughing :PFFTT

The teachers laughing : OMFG KID? MIDORIYA HAHAHA NO! NO!

Mic in shock :.... what the fuck?

izuku glaring : you pussy.

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aizawa watching izuku stare at the wall for over an hour not moving or blinking by the looks of it :

... you good buddy?

izuku : the walls talking shit.

aizawa : okay time for bed kid common

izuku : they just said that your a bitch I'm gonna kill em.

aizawa pale : okay kiddo bed time.

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izuku shooting out of his chair one day during home room freaking out everyone

aizawa : what you good?

izuku : Im gonna to faint good night

class 1-a : what wha?

izuku drops to the floor

class 1-a : Oh OH FUCK MIDORIYA?!

aizawa : well at least he gave a warning....

aizawa and izuku quotes part 6!

because its 7am I haven't slept and I have a 10 hour shift soon!

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Izuku , making a cup of tea: Yeah, get into that leaf juice, you sexy, sexy bee sauce.

aizawa: Hey, do you take constructive criticism?

Izuku : I absolutely fucking do not.

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aizawa: You're alive.

Izuku : There's no need to sound so disappointed sensei.

aizawa : I'm not I'm just shocked

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aizawa: Izuku , what is the ONE thing I asked you NOT to do tonight?

Izuku : Raise the dead.

aizawa: And what did you do?

Izuku : Raise the dead.

aizawa : why why do you do this.

izuku : I am just in a silly mood okay

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aizawa: What's wrong with you?

Izuku : Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

aizawa : Oh... I'm adopting you now

izuku : yeah lam- what?

mic : STOP ADOPTING EVER SAD CHILD.

aizawa : YOU CANT STOP ME.

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Izuku : What goes up but never comes down?

aizawa: The amount of stress you're bringing this family.

izuku : hut its just you, me and the cats

aizawa : exactly. poor bastard is stressed.

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Izuku talking about aizawa : my dad taught me to think before I act.

Izuku now glaring at bakugo : ...So if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision.

aizawa proud as fuck : go get em kid!

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Izuku drugged up on hospital meds : Why's it called an oven when you of in the cold food and you of out hot eat the food?

aizawa :....what????

class 1a : I'm so confused?

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izuku high as fuck on hospital drugs after the stain fight : haha pretty

aizawa and mic bursting into the room :KIDDO?!

izuku : ayeee! you made it!

mic : hey buddy how you feeling?

izuku smirking : they got me on the good shit!

aizawa laughing : oh my god!

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