Riven: I Don’t Know What Is Wrong With Me. I Cant Eat, I Cant Sleep, Maybe I Have The Flu Or Something...

Eternals as John Mulaney quotes:

Sprite:

Ikaris:

Kingo:

Phastos:

Ajak @ Ikaris:

Makkari:

Sersi:

Dane:

Druig:

Druig @ Makkari:

Gilgamesh @ Thena:

Flora(answers the phone):Hello?

Riven:It’s Riven.

Flora:What did he do this time?

Riven:No it’s me, Riven.

Flora:What did you do this time?

*Timmy helping Riven to get out of trouble.*

Timmy:Did you know that atoms never touch eachother. And since we're made of atoms. We've never touched anything in our entire lives.

Riven:So to answer your question Nabu, I didn't punch Sky for eating my fries.

Nabu:....

Gligamesh: Thena, sweetie. Did you have to stab him?

Thena: You weren't there. You didn't hear what he said to me.

Gligamesh: I'm going to regret asking, but what did he said?

Thena: He said "what are you going to do, stab me?"

Gligamesh:Thena...

Thena: What, he asked me. That's is being polite.

Gilgamesh:Thena...

Ikaris: Druit you have to work on your manners, humans are complaining. You should say please and thank you, at least.

Druig: Ok, let me try. Ikaris.

Ikaris: Ok, go ahead

Druig:Ikaris, my friend please shut the fuck up, thank you.

Ikaris: Not what I meant but that's something.

*How it went with Layla and Nabu*

DAY 1:

Nabu: Hey girl, you like me a little bit?

Layla: No I don't even like a little bit.

SECOND WEEK:

Nabu: Hey, I heard you like me a little bit?

Layla: Huh. Not even a little bit.

MONTH:

Nabu: Wait don't you like me a little bit?

Layla: Ew, no. I don't even like you a little bit.

SECOND MONTH.

Nabu: I know you like me a little bit.

Layla: Uhm.. maybe just a little bit.

Helia: Flora said a Bad word today.

Riven: Where the fuck did she learn that?!

Phastos: I know you're deflecting by making jokes about how " hot" you are.

Druig: It not a joke, it never was. I'm legit a snack.

Phastos*deep breathe*

*Flora and Riven covered in paint*

Helia and Musa: I hope you two have a decent explanation for this.

Riven: Well, it’s not decent...

Flora: But we do have three.

Riven: Pick you’re favorite.

Ikaris: You are mocking me, aren`t you?

Druig:Oh, no...No no. Hey Ikaris look the SUN!

*druig cries of laughter*

Ikaris: I hate you.