Sorry Not Sorry But Sometimes I Really Am Done Having To Put Up With Mentally Ill Folks. Like The Fuck

I can't imagine being delusional enough to describe myself as "tme" while my reproductive rights are perpetually threatened in most of the country. I am a trans man and I am tma. I am a trans person who experiences misogyny.

Part of the harm of invisibility for transmen is being bombarded with a million "emergency HRT" resources by a hundred different well meaning groups and absolutely zero of them mention testosterone. If they do it's basically a footnote. Testosterone is necessary HRT medication too, believe it or not. It is harder to synthesize and it is federally restricted and I think that's EVEN MORE REASON TO RESEARCH AND LINK EMERGENCY TESTOSTERONE HRT‼️

For once in my damned life I wish I could be 100% honest. Even if I'm "being for real" with my friends, it's still not 100%. Because the real me is a disgusting asshole and can be downright heartless and I wouldn't have any friends left if I was actually saying what I thought.

Fuck anti depressants just give me a syringe full of pure serotonin

Really sorry to have a mildly nsfw/nsft rant on an otherwise completely sfw blog, but I had to get this out... TW: cis men's disgusting (sexual) behaviour towards trans men

I've had it happened several times now where I thought I had a normal guy friendship with a cis dude, only to find out they in some way fantasized about me as my agab, or thought about my agab parts, usually in a sexual way.

It really hurts. Cis men get to get away with all that, but people act like *I* am the bad guy when I just want to jerk off to girls in peace... As much as it pains me to say it, trans men and cis men are in no way equal, nor treated as such...

''trans lesbians don't have heterosexual privilege"

Oh

I don't need things to be perfect. I just need someone to pretend things are perfect with me for a bit.

People seriously underestimates how living with mental illness is also inherently traumatizing.

It's been almost 10 years for me now. I physically feel my memory suffering under mental illness. Other senses like vision get affected too.

You wouldn't expect someone to undergo 10 years of cancer treatment, only to still be sick, and tell them "please keep going, you've been so strong before, one day it'll be alright!". You just wouldn't do that, would you?

Then why is it not only normalized, but encouraged to act that way towards me?

It's insane how (some) cis men think it's completely normal and okay to have a wife that loves them unconditionally and serves them at every whim and caters her whole life to her, meanwhile I feel bad and selfish for wanting one that will sometimes fuck me and actually give a shit about my personal life and give a bit of physical affection sometimes.

Maybe female socialization is real and it's making me incredibly dysphoric. Just one of those things transition can't resolve.

Looked up my new (kinda shitty) job's company and I get shit like this.... Not too surprised. Company ideology like that seeps into all branches, no matter how big or small, how high-up or "lower level employee"...

It's like nowhere in the world is it truly "safe" or good anymore.. At this point I assume that every single big company has donated to war criminals, racists, or homophobes unless very explicitely stated otherwise, which I haven't encountered yet.