I Want To Run Towards Something, Not Away (Sorta)

I've always wanted to live or go to Japan they have moving trains i would have loved to jump in, you know. Btw it is a very nice place to see someday

I hate feeling so alive, I want to be a corpse cold, pale, and sleeping.

These infusions and pills... it's making my body feel human. I look healthy, I don't like it it's ruining my image

I don't want this i want to be back feeling dead and not healthy looking like. I hate being and looking like a human.

I'm crying really bad, I need to cut, vomit, masturbate

Vamp 🧛‍♂️🦇

Blood on my wrist, i wanna die (I couldn't resist i just had to. I said only one cut and got carried away, haha! Not only my wrist, i did my chest too, and maybe next time, my stomach and legs)

Although the thoughts of suicide haven't left, i think about them every day. It's a bit of a turn on to think about and at the same time, I want to experience the pain and death. When I say Death I laugh at the word. Because I feel aroused and I think about my death and other things that come along with it. I know I'm strange I'm sorry but it's true... by the way I still plan to cut and sadly shamelessly masturbate... just to get my mind in the clouds.

Oh my god... those thoughts... the suicidal thoughts are getting aggressive again!..

I see you online. Those messages I sent never seen for hours, days. I get that your busy. But being online for hours and don't have a chance to talk to me?

Open up the door. Can you open up the door ?

I'm not good enough